TH ↙︎↙︎↙︎Mar 3
Charlie Stross

AS I KEEP REPEATING ENDLESSLY—(no, not "with the Right it's *always* projection", although yes, that too)—*do not trust* an oviparous lagomorph, lagomorphs are universally viviparous, an oviparous one is *obviously* Wrong, there is obviously some ghastly parasitic reproductive cycle in play here and it will all end in tears and screaming when the "egg" opens.

This toot bought to you by the Easter Egg Marketing Board.

Mar 2 at 1:35pmWeb
Show threadPete Alex Harris🦡🕸️🌲/∞🪐∫Mar 2
@cstross
Great now I'm thinking about the Easter Bunny's ovipositor, which is not what I went on holiday to do.
Show threadJohn MaxwellMar 2
@cstross Gotta admire the elegance of forming a symbiotic relationship with rabbits, though.
Show threadHugo MillsMar 2
@cstross Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton--- OH MY GOD IS THAT AN OVIPOSITOR? and Peter.
Show threadQuinn NortonMar 2
@cstross but my little woogums is different *squelchy petting noises* woogums would never hurt me.
Show threadMarcus Marcius MarcellusMar 2
@cstross But those bunny eggs are made of yummy, yummy chocolate!
Show threadjslMar 2
@marcas @cstross Chocolate eggs? That's bait for the host animal! The rabbit is just the host for the nymph phase of the lifecycle.
Show threadacbMar 2
@cstross Had intellectual-property monetisation been more advanced at the time of Alien, the Easter merchandising would have been impressive
Show threadSteve HerseyMar 2
@cstross
I'm eagerly awaiting "Lagomorphoid," the not-quite-a-sequel to "Equoid."
Show threadSteve HerseyMar 2

@cstross

"Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hoppin' down the bunny trail
Hippity hoppin', "

AAGGGHHH, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂Mar 2
@cstross what if they are gestating living eggs inside themselves then giving birth to live eggs, though?
Show threadHighlandLawyerMar 2
@cstross
The "fur" is actually fluffy down: the "bunny" is a quadruped dinosaur. Hence the traditional link with chicks.
Show threadHugo MillsMar 2
@HighlandLawyer @cstross I'm just wondering about the "cute" jacket or waistcoat in some pictures. Now thinking it might just be a camouflaged pocket that hides the extra legs that grab hold of the host to make sure it can't move during the implantation.
Show threadIsaac Ji KuoMar 2
@cstross There are absolutely no levels of biologically suss stuff going on here.
Show threadResunaMar 2

@isaackuo @cstross

Goofy and Pluto are both dogs.

Show threadAngus McIntyreMar 2
@isaackuo @cstross I told you giving Dr. Moreau access to CRISPR was a bad idea, but did anyone listen?
Show threadKyreethMar 3
@angusm @isaackuo @cstross Maybe the egg-laying rabbits were too far, but the furries are very happy.
Show threadPaul DryeMar 2
@isaackuo @cstross Donald Duck is a furry. I will not be taking questions at this time.
Show threadSam Mar 2
@isaackuo @cstross It looks like the one on the bottom left is pointing at where they've all come from. Horrifying.
Show threadSophie SchmiegMar 2
@cstross to be fair, they are viviparous in all likelihood due to some ghastly viral reproductive cycle (like all placental mammals), so really, you can't win there.
Show thread🏴🏳‍⚧🏴‍☠Mar 2
@cstross
Show threadaxel.Mar 2
@coolcalmcollected @cstross Bookmarked for Easter repost. Thanks.
Show threadWellsiteGeoMar 2

@coolcalmcollected @cstross

Ohh, face-hugger en chocolate! Buenissimo!

Where can I get?

Show threadDan SugalskiMar 2

@cstross Thinking about this, Cadbury Creme Eggs, and the classic '80s horror-satire movie The Stuff and...

Yeah, OK, possibly not gonna sleep too well tonight.

Show threadAngus McIntyreMar 2
@cstross "OK, children, what do we do when we see a giant, man-sized rabbit-like abomination that lays eggs? … No, ‘we collect up the eggs and pop them in our mouths' is the WRONG answer. The correct answer is ‘We kill it with fire.’ That will be all for today. And don't forget to take your flamethrowers as you leave the classroom.”
Show threadMichael GemarMar 2
@angusm @cstross I guess if the eggs are tasty the creatures don’t even need a facehugger stage — the victims impregnate themselves.
Show threadAngus McIntyreMar 2
@michaelgemar @cstross As my old xenomorph mother used to say, "You catch more humans with delicious dark chocolate than you do with dripping facial mucus.”
Show threadDianeMar 2

@angusm @cstross

So the all the people saying its fine to eat the eggs, ate the eggs?

So theyre already infected?

Show threadMichael VilainMar 2
@angusm @cstross Killing it with fire would make it over-done and the meat would come out burnt. Killing it, then using fire would allow it to be roasted perfectly and basted with herb brushes.
Show threadWellsiteGeoMar 2

@angusm @cstross

Surely the "correct" answer is to nuke it from orbit?

Though if the US military are involved, they must position senior generals at "Ground Zero" to get good reporting on the effectiveness of the nukes. Taking as many politicians as possible with them.

Show threadDavidMar 2
@cstross Easter Platypus would make so much more sense.
Show threadE. C. BigribsMar 2
@cstross This apparently non-oviparous bunnyoid is totally ok though, right?
Show threadHugo MillsMar 2
@eedly @cstross That's not the bunnyoid itself. That's just the fruiting body.
Show threadCharlie StrossMar 2
@darkling @eedly It's a subspecies of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis that infects mammals, right?
Show threadE. C. BigribsMar 2

@cstross IIRC it was just a grab-and-eat type monster.

@darkling

Show threadLudwig VielfrassMar 2
@eedly @cstross @darkling Seeing a reference to "Expedition to the Barrier Peaks" was not on my bingo card today.
Show threadE. C. BigribsMar 2

@lerxst I was twelve or thirteen when it came out, and forty-five (yeesh!) years later, this still tops my mental list of malignant easter bunny images.

And three cheers for the Internet Archive for hosting it:

https://archive.org/details/tsr09033s3expeditiontothebarrierpeaks/mode/2up

@cstross @darkling

Tsr 09033 S 3 Expedition To The Barrier Peaks : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

105p

Internet Archive
Show threadQ.H. StoneMar 3
@eedly @lerxst @darkling And later included in the Monster Manual II.
Show threadmathewMar 3
@lerxst @eedly @cstross @darkling Still my all-time favorite D&D module. Apparently there’s a 50th Anniversary edition of Metamorphosis Alpha coming out soon. (S3 being a crossover between D&D & MA.)
Show threadJulesceltMar 2
@cstross This is the Lagomorph joke I've spent my entire life waiting for!
Show threadRussell CokerMar 3

@cstross do Kangaroos count as oviparous? They give birth to a tiny baby that's barely capable of crawling to a teat. So if the weather turns bad the mother's milk just shuts off and gets rid of the baby with no harm to the mother.

Also kangaroos have 3 vaginas so there's lots of potential for weird SciFi there.