if there is one thing i am taking away from the reviews of this movie it's that i should be extremely stoned right now #monsterdon

INCREDIBLE ELEMENTS LIST #monsterdon

night and day being two of four elements is so awesome because light is not an element, only whether the thing you are riding on is in the way betwen you and light or not #monsterdon

classic socialize the costs but privatize the benefits, creating one extremely muscular guy with no dick to rule over and protect all people instead of making all people slightly more powerful #monsterdon

creating a demigod in space and then juicing him down into an energy sphere and shoving that inside an infant's body is a completely different thing than imbuing a baby with demigod powers. you made a mech not a hero #monsterdon

knockoff starwars march soundtrack is kicking ass right now #monsterdon

gods: how can we make good win over evil. how about we make the king's baby extremely buff and dickless?
gods: but don't forget to kill its whole family and enchant a bunch of algae to try and eat it
#monsterdon

ok gods if you didn't want all your magical objects being shattered and releasing evil all over the place why don't you not just leave them floating around in space #monsterdon

when you put all your eggs in one basket by making one hero guy instead of improving all humans, you had better give him more powers than just being really buff, healing would be an obvious power for the protector of good #monsterdon

who???? ... what?? science? ??? #monsterdon

what the fuck dog???? #monsterdon

who WAS that even??? space scientist??? #monsterdon

what the fuck man this is so awesome what is going on #monsterdon

imagine how emotionally taxing it would be to roll up your entire mom in toilet paper like that #monsterdon

"oh shit we forgot to tell hercules he was supposed to triumph over evil" #monsterdon

i am shitting myself with the log crushing strategy that is incredible, who would have even thought of that #monsterdon

WHY ! WHY DID HE throw it into space!?!?!?! this movie rules #monsterdon

"we need to prove he isn't evil by sending him to a sacred place where no evil can enter and... he must clean it" #monsterdon

??????????????? #monsterdon

THE RAINBOW TO THE GATES OF HELL!?!?!?!?!?! #monsterdon

what is fucking happening #monsterdon

hercules help me get my bracelet back i just lost it inside the soul of all being that resides in the center of hell #monsterdon

what the hell is any of that #monsterdon

see unlike all the jules verne stories where a bunch of random things happen in sequence, here it feels like i have a carbon monoxide leak and at any moment anything could happen #monsterdon

this is awesome why is it happening #monsterdon

HURTLING THROUGH SPACE ON YOUR ROCK PROPELLED CHARIOT #monsterdon

bechdel pass! bechdel pass! #monsterdon

quick fall out of love with me by how i never hear a word you say so that you can get your powers back and heal #monsterdon

can't even leave your lovers body lying on the beach around this meddlesome asteroid scientist #monsterdon

thank you narration for the exposition however almost none of what you said maps on to the things that have happened in the movie #monsterdon

you didn't need to spear that old broad right in the stomach and leave her writhing around like that that is so much #monsterdon

this guy has been trying to kill hercules the whole time because he is trying to refuel his mountain power plant with the only virgin on earth #monsterdon

now you've done it hercules!!!! the lesbian volcano is erupting!!!! #monsterdon

you can't be happily ever aftering with a composite woman who refuses to tell you the origin and purpose of her being #monsterdon

so was the story of that movie how this scientist king had enslaved the phoenix inside of a mountain to be his power plant and so the gods spawned hercules to stop him but also made him fall in love with the woman that one of the gods had promised to sacrifice to refuel the power plant except another woman who stole the talisman from the core of being gave him a ride there and he was going to be married to the daughter of the evil scientist king but he kicked their ass back into space the end #monsterdon