Luci Bitchface Angerfoot“i struggled until i came out at the late late super old age of 21”
can we as the trans community just collectively agree not to say shit like this anymore?
i feel like i need to be explicit about the problem here being an implied judgement of anyone who transitions older as even greater cowards than the speaker (who in this case was sarah mcbride who also added a lot of words about lacking the courage to come out sooner )
dig a little deeper about what we’re saying here.
if Sarah McBride had more courage, she says, she would have come out sooner
isn’t this just victim blaming at its absolute finest?
i know Sarah McBride catches a lot of shit but it’s not even her that’s the problem here. this is a very typical speech given by a lot of what i would consider very young transitioners
the goal should be to make it fine to transition at any age, and to build a world that will even accept freaks like me who transitioned at 40 and as a result am not fuckable or socially well adjusted
you know why i came out at 40? because by the time i was in my 20s and in a position to do anything about it i was already “too old”
that’s what this rhetoric does
they want to force us to transition older to stop us from being able to pass as well
they morally judge and shame those who do it older, because passing and being fuckable is our only possible value
because it’s not like we’re human beings or anything we’re just porn catagory novelty counterfeit women
the other day I saw the slogan “it’s never too late” applied to someone who transitioned at 18
for the love of ishtar get a grip.
hey if you’re going to pick a fight with me over this feel free to jump directly, and all the way- out of my ass instead. thanks
in a world in which several countries have just banned puberty blockers, and are considering banning any kind of gender affirming care for adults too, with an age threshold that keeps creeping up from 19, to 25, to 30, to 40… and 200 year wait times
I need you to appreciate how “i transitioned at 18, it’s never too late” is speaking from a place of a fuck of a lot of privilege, the privilege of.calling a full year earlier than what many are now being are told is the earliest they can start “late”.
and frankly tone deafness about what many people *under 18* are facing now, being locked out of transition care until they’re wayyyy older than 18, if ever.
it’s not liberation. it’s not acknowledging the pain of wrong puberty. it’s applying a moral judgement to age of transition, when it’s not about courage, or individual agency. it’s about family, community and legal and medical support.
it’s kind of a big “fuck you, got mine” to both older and younger trans people
here’s what I propose:
Instead of “it’s never too late to transition”
we say “it’s never too late to stop being a transmedkcalist piece of shit”
“it’s never too late to stop judging trans women on how attractive they can potentially end up being if they started medical transition now”
“it’s never too late to kill your brain worms”
“it’s never too late to stop measuring your progress by how much you will look cis”
another way this can all go wrong is imagine how a typical cis interprets “it’s never too late”
well then it’s fine to ban it til you’re 30 right? cos it’s never too late? that’s what you said
do i wish I transitioned earlier? There are few trans people who don’t.
Am I jealous of people who did it younger? yeah of course but that isn’t what this thread is about.
I am questioning saying the age you transitioned and calling it “late”, even by implication of saying it’s never “too” late.
I couldn’t do it sooner, it wasn’t safe, why are we talking about “late” in the context of when someone is safe and able to come out and transition. Safe is when it’s safe. That can only ever possibly be exactly when it happens to be safe and no sooner
what exactly is the “too late” we’re talking about, anna?
Luna Dragofelis ΘΔ🏳️⚧️🐱@bri7 I feel like a better way to put it would be something like "The best time to start transitioning would have been at the start of puberty. The second best time is right now."
Jenny 😷🇵🇸🔻🏳️⚧️☭@bri7 Similar to how some cis people take the accurate statement "you don't need hormones to be valid in trans identity" as license to try to talk folks out of hrt because they're convinced it's dangerous and extreme
Octavia Con Amore 
Succubard's Library@bri7 exactly, and being in a situation where you won't be killed, socially or physically 
Moriel 🏳️⚧️Thank you for calling this out!
Now i really want to see where she said this. Not saying it didn't happen. Just that i've had problems with Sarah McBride for a while now and this just sounds like another strike against her.
i first came out at 12, but couldn't transition because it was the 80's and that just wasn't a thing. And my parents sent me to a psychiatrist to be "cured". So much for my bravery.
Then i came out again at 19. And my parents sent me back to the same psychiatrist and bullied me for the next 5 years to keep me from transitioning. Bravery didn't help then either.
When i finally did start transition at the age of 24 i joined a support group and was one of the youngest people in the group. The idea that 21 is a "late late super old" age is absurd! i'm sorry she couldn't transition sooner, but you know what? A lot of us coudn't transition sooner! Maybe we were prevented by family, like i was, or maybe we had been taught to repress ourselves, or maybe we just literally didn't have enough information to even recognize what we truly needed. The most important thing is just that at some point we decided that it was time to do something and we made the decision to transition.
When i had my surgery i was 28. There was another woman staying at the recovery house with me at the same time, and she was in her 60s! It wasn't too late for her! She was a real inspiration and though i no longer remember her name i will never forget the look of joy on her face,
@moriel it was some speech she recently gave, it turned up in a reel. if you want me to find it i gotta remember if i saw it on instagram or youtube and fish through my watch history
Oh that's OK. No need to go searching on my part.
Sin Vega
mjdxp@bri7 i personally live in a blue state in america that's relatively friendly towards trans people, and yet i'm very much struggling to transition. it's not always access to medical treatment that can force someone to wait, for me it's mainly social tensions. i currently live with my parents as i can't really afford to live on my own at the moment, and when i came out to them several years ago they completely rejected the idea that i was trans. i tried to convince them to let me begin transitioning, but they shut down everything i brought up, from things like getting HRT to things as simple as being called by my chosen name and pronouns. when you're in an environment like that, you're really not able to transition safely or comfortably. i've been told "well, just go get hormones yourself, it's not like your parents can stop you since you're an adult", but it's really much more complicated than that. i could face backlash or even abuse if i began taking HRT in an unsupportive household, and since moving out really isn't a good option either, i've just kind of been forced to wait until i've saved up enough money to afford an apartment.
this is why we need to push for societal change. people need to understand why others transition, and it needs to be destigmatized to prevent situations like the one i'm trapped in. i'm sure lots of other people are in this situation, and let me tell you, it really hurts knowing you've been trans for years and years and watching your body be permanently changed by the wrong puberty while you're powerless to stop it.
this is why we need to push for societal change. people need to understand why others transition, and it needs to be destigmatized to prevent situations like the one i'm trapped in. i'm sure lots of other people are in this situation, and let me tell you, it really hurts knowing you've been trans for years and years and watching your body be permanently changed by the wrong puberty while you're powerless to stop it.
The Witch of Crow Briar
Dot Maetrix@bri7 Can't wait for the generation of transmed gatekeepers who watch the directors cut of Aliens (in which the flavour text indicates that Lambert from the first one was reassigned female as a baby for no apparent reason) and go "ah yes, the only valid time to do it"
@bri7 not directly related to being trans but I’m still not over a very popular high profile high follower account describing 1993 as “before most people were born” the other day.
@crowbriarhexe I guess we’re living in Logan’s Run
a movie Most People Have Never Heard Of
ElizaMy hands are flashing at an increasingly alarming rate
Natanox 🇺🇦🇵🇸@bri7 To tell trans people to "get a grip" because they acknowledge the issue (puberty already fucked them over) while supposedly having it better than you… no words.
How do you feel if I now tell you just "get a grip" and stop being bitter about other trans people dealing with their severe dysphoria using appropriate words that are lifting them up and acknowledge their pain? Because that's exactly what that *also* is you're ranting about.
I can see you're in pain, but this is not the way.
Ms. Rachel Andry (Isn't Real)@Natanox @bri7 oh hi Natasha! how's your time at the transphobe bathroom hacker conference going? good? oh that's great. anyway if you're looking to criticize trans people for not supporting each other, then maybe you should look in the mirror first, mkay
Natasha Nox 🇺🇦🇵🇸 @39C3 (@[email protected])
Attached: 1 image There's too much stuff, so little time and no creature multithreading yet. ;__; #39c3
@YKantRachelRead @bri7 Awww, thanks for your concern. ❤️ I'm gonna make sure we support each other extra hard on this fabulous event you so wildly misunderstood.
@bri7 for me it was, like. I didn't (and don't) hate my natal genitalia, and I wasn't in any way exclusively attracted to men, and I never felt the inclination to be hyper-femme. I didn't fit the typical narrative that was the only narrative that anyone knew about transfems, so clearly I had to just be a fucked up cis guy with a secret feminization kink.
so like, it's no wonder that my egg didn't crack until alternative narratives of transfemininity - ones that fit me - were placed in front of me.
it wasn't about courage. it was about the societal psyop that trans women are all gay men who want to become sex dolls.
@YKantRachelRead i mean, similar for me. same? but it’s hard for me to pin down any “real” reason for anything because for any given event in my life I have 3 different conflicting sets of memories of my thoughts and feelings about it for some reason
@bri7 same on that count too 
I think I've narrowed it down to trauma + plurality on my end, but it could be other things in the mix as well
I think I've narrowed it down to trauma + plurality on my end, but it could be other things in the mix as well@YKantRachelRead i don’t think I am “plural” in any strong sense, but the partitioning of memory is definitely there, and different personas constructed for survival in different situations- a core self, a character portrayed for peers, one for parents, one for ex wife
@YKantRachelRead and like, i wanted to come out many different times from the age of i think… 8. and each time it became clear to me that it wasn’t safe and I convinced myself it wasn’t true and forced myself to forget. so each time i had a different set of excuses for why I shouldn’t
Martin's pipe dreams