JA Westenberg

My deeply scientific analysis:

twitter = some Logan Paul energy drink
mastodon = loose leaf tea
instagram = overpriced matcha latte
tiktok = boba tea
linkedin = bullet proof coffee
reddit = mountain dew
facebook = your dad’s beer
threads = store brand cola
discord = monster
bluesky = artisanal kombucha
pinterest = aldi-brand rosé

Oct 22 at 1:05pmTypefully
Show threadCluster FckuOct 22
@Daojoan stackexchange? ...
Show threadmicOct 22
@clusterfcku
Store-brand mate drink?
@Daojoan
Show threadTimothy WolodzkoOct 22
@clusterfcku @Daojoan non-gmo aeropress coffee
Show threadMC CannibalOct 22
@Daojoan Mastodon is detoxifying green tea.
Show threadKim Possible Oct 22
@Daojoan this is sooooo good.
Show threadDávid BárdosOct 22
@Daojoan twitter, insta, tiktok FB and threads also contain some substance that makes you addicted and feel awful at the same time.
Show threadAmoshiasOct 22
@Daojoan the loose leaf tea is certainly accurate in my case. Well played.
Show threadTrimTab 🇺🇦Oct 22

@Daojoan
You forgot a few international ones...

Telegram = polonium tea
VK = arsenic tea
WeChat = Tea without food safety standards / warm microplastic dioxin water)

Show threadSara Oct 22
@Daojoan This is so accurate 
Show threadMr. Lance E Sloan (IRL) 👤Oct 22
@Daojoan
Dare I ask… Truth Social?
Show threadGeorge BOct 22

@sloanlance @Daojoan

Water from just downstream of an unregulated chemical factory

Show threadSecondUniverse (she/her/they)Oct 22
@sloanlance @Daojoan Kool-Aid
Show threadGeorge BOct 22

@Daojoan

I think more specifically:

Fediverse = various loose leaf teas
Mastodon = black tea, brewed extra strong
Pixelfed = matcha, prepared at home with the proper tools and procedure
Bookwyrm = chamomile with a bit of honey

Not familiar with the others though

Show threadPaul HoffmanOct 22
@Daojoan compuserve = RC Cola
Show threadajOct 22
@Daojoan Pinterest is spot on. A deadly strike, bravo!
Show threadFalow, Master SurchidOct 22
@Daojoan This tracks so hard.
Show threadVivia 🦆🍵Oct 22
@Daojoan Given that this is where @tea is, I'd say the Mastodon part is accurate.
Show threadBredrollOct 22
@vivia @Daojoan @tea i find discord varys hugely between servers, anything from port and stilton to red bull and vodka
Show threadFlaming CheetoOct 22

@Daojoan I just want an easy affordable cup of Joe ,without Nazis.

(The last enjoyable drugged out aggrieved white guy)
https://youtu.be/-f_dxLiuXuw?si=EN5oZS3C2oaTH0yo

Denis Leary on Coffee [Lock N Load]

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