Time to tap the lossy jpg of a vintage Tumblr post again.

Do not punish the behaviour you want to see.

If people have just come here from Bluesky. Or finally got around to closing their Airbnb account. Or leaving Meta or whatever. Don't immediately jump on them to tell them they should have done it sooner, say well done for doing it now. Or, y'know, saying nothing at all is also an option that exists.

@afewbugs on a similar topic.. just doing a funding application to our county council for a pot of money from a #CommunityWealthBuilding grant. Frustratingly, it's not really CWB at all.. they are still talking about 'growth', rarely do asset transfer of buildings to the community, still directing money and support to old fashioned Chambers of Trade and have very traditional council leaders who are never going to change. I'm really restraining myself by not banging on about how unsustainable growth and traditional capitalism is with our planet in crisis ..grr.. I'm applying for funding to develop a sort of local charity, business, organisation hive mind and share skills and assets.. and by sharing info and things will hopefully help make them all more sustainable and resilient.
@afewbugs ...finding out that success and failure are both punished.
@afewbugs I feel the thing is that even though many of us want these new Fedi users to go even further with digital freedom, I feel that we should also take in the work to help them go even further. It's something our communities haven't been as good at, where I notice other communities providing robust support for others' problems, while we don't recommend specific recommendations for instances enough and leaving them to be confused by the immense jargon of https://joinmastodon.org or https://fedi.garden. Plus, we don't recommend to them specific cool users to follow and just say that "you'll get used to finding things without an algorithm" even when the platforms they escaped from promoted just an algorithm-dependent experience for a while.
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@afewbugs
i wonder who censored the fucking
@piku @afewbugs people out of the fedi that can't tolerate a single "fuck" because of an algorithm deciding to show anything. whose data is collected and sold right now.
@a_blahaj @piku I guess I could photoshop the fuck back, but that poor jpg has already suffered enough
@afewbugs hate it when my parents do stuff like this. they also tend to show over exaggerated amounts of praise when i do fairly mundane stuff which shows how little faith they have in me just being a normal person doing normal everyday things. can't wait to move out someday but i don't have the money for an apartment
@mjdxp that sounds really tough. Hang in there and take care of yourself, I know it feels like forever but you'll get there eventually and it'll feel so good when you do
@afewbugs So. Much. This.
@GinevraCat It's just so discouraging though when the I could pretty much have filled in the whole bingo card with the responses to my post about closing my Airbnb account after they sponsored the Reform party conference. "You should have done this years ago!" "Now leave Instagram!". Very much @kathhayhoe 's description of "friendly fire" from this post https://fediscience.org/@kathhayhoe/113787805278562159
Dr. Katharine Hayhoe (@[email protected])

Attached: 1 image Comparing the percentage of comments that are negative versus neutral/positive on each platform, you can also see that (a) Twitter has always had proportionately more trolls than other platforms, but also (b) trolling has massively increased post-Musk. Note 1: The reason there were no negative comments on FB is because my page there has been shadow-banned since Aug 2018 when climate change & clean energy were added to the list of politically sensitive topics and FB refused (twice) to verify my identity, the step they claim is needed to post on those topics. So only a tiny fraction of the people who already follow my page see my posts there. They are not shared beyond that tiny bubble. Note 2: it's also interesting that negative comments on Twitter/X, LinkedIn and Threads are nearly 100% denial, whereas negative comments on Mastodon are 100% from people worried about climate but who are mansplaining me or who want to harass or attack me for different reasons (e.g. not explaining the science the way they think I should, saying that climate action can make a difference, standing firm on the social science of effective communication, being a person of faith, etc.). This platform is #1 for "friendly fire," which is why I still post but don't engage here very much. It's not good for my mental health. If you want to see more of my posts here though, no worries: I have a bluesky bridge account @[email protected] Onward!

FediScience.org
@afewbugs @kathhayhoe So many people are all about "I told you so", instead of "Welcome". ☹️
@afewbugs @SarraceniaWilds
I had an epiphany about the cycle of procrastinating and finally doing a thing and kicking myself for finally doing the thing: I should treat it like training a dog. If the dog finally does a thing I’m trying to get it to do, the correct response is effusive praise and not more scolding. Otherwise, the dog won’t be encouraged to do the desired thing again.

@afewbugs I mean, the post still exists, you don’t have to use a lossy jpeg. https://www.tumblr.com/ingridverse/170223372038/do-not-punish-the-behaviour-you-want-to-see

Here, have a png.

@twipped @afewbugs Oooh, and this one isn't even censored! Thank you! 😄
@afewbugs good advice. Objectively, very, very hard to follow.