𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶 "not yet begun to fight"

EVERY COMPANY: heyyyy girl

ME: what's up

EVERY COMPANY: we've got a new feature for you!! 😀

ME: what is it

EVERY COMPANY: it's a brand new feature you're going to love it

ME: is it AI?

EVERY COMPANY: it... what? nooo...

ME: it's AI isn't it.

EVERY COMPANY: it's... not... not AI

ME: no I don't want it

EVERY COMPANY: but you haven't even tried itttt

ME: yes I have. it's horrible. i hate it.

EVERY COMPANY: but gurrrl those were the other AIs. our AI isn't like other AIs. our AI is ✨special✨

ME: no it's not it's the same shitty LLM just rebranded for whatever company

EVERY COMPANY: but that's what makes it ✨special✨

ME: oh fucking hell

EVERY COMPANY: our AI is named "Bob". bet you haven't talked to an AI named Bob yet have you? eh? eh? pretty special right?

ME: what the fuck no I do not want Bob the AI. just let me use your product without it.

EVERY COMPANY: oh no you can't do that

ME: why not?

EVERY COMPANY: because Bob AI makes everything easier.

ME: name one specific thing Bob the LLM makes easier

EVERY COMPANY: well he uh... um...

ME: ...?

EVERY COMPANY: uhhhh...

ME: ...?

EVERY COMPANY: he's your friendly helper.

ME: I don't need a friendly helper. I just want to use your product.

EVERY COMPANY: but we spent so much moneyyyyy on himmmmm you just gottaaaaaa

ME: no, I'm uninstalling Bob right now

EVERY COMPANY: oh no no no we can't let you do that

ME: I can't uninstall the AI?

EVERY COMPANY: no of course not

ME: and why not?

EVERY COMPANY: because then how would you possibly use Bob AI?

ME: I just told you I won't be using Bob the AI.

EVERY COMPANY: but how would we help you if you need help?

ME: literally any other way. call me, email me, text me, hell snail-mail me if you have to. plenty of customer service options to choose from.

EVERY COMPANY: oh we couldn't possibly do any of that

ME: and why would that be??

EVERY COMPANY: oh because we fired our customer service department. it just wasn't in the budget this year.

ME: and why not??

EVERY COMPANY: well to pay for Bob AI of course!

ME: I'm throwing your product in the trash. don't ever contact me again.

Aug 30, 2025 at 10:30pmWeb
Show threadD. G. MarshallAug 31, 2025

@Lana

EVERY COMPANY:

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-08-21/cba-backtracks-on-ai-job-cuts-as-chatbot-lifts-call-volumes/105679492

Commonwealth Bank backtracks on AI job cuts, apologises for 'error'

CBA has apologised to 45 affected employees after finding customer service roles were not redundant despite introducing an AI-powered "voice-bot", but the union says the damage is done.

Show threadjudgyweevilAug 31, 2025
@Lana Now I want to see a Bob the Builder cartoon episode where the protagonist, instead of relying on years of expertise in construction, relies on chatGPT to tell him what to do
Show threadRachael Ava 💁🏻‍♀️Sep 7, 2025
@judgyweevil @Lana ♪ Bob the Builder (No we can't!) ♪ 
Show threadDirk HaunAug 31, 2025
@Lana @daswarkeinhuhn Similar vibe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-lgJX3npiQ
We Have AI Now

YouTube
Show threadJKBSep 7, 2025

@dirkhaun @Lana Very similar, it's fascinating how two persons can make the exact same joke just two days apart. Life is full of mysterious coincidences.

Back when Twitter wasn't so noxious there were many cases of plagiarism, the popularity game leads to quite despicable behaviours, but I am sure we cannot have such plagiarism here on the Fediverse.

Show threadDaniel Fisher(lennybacon)Aug 31, 2025
@Lana I‘m the girl in this toot…
Show threadTeun 🌏 ❤️ 🏳️‍🌈 🇺🇦 🇵🇸Aug 31, 2025

@Lana

Suddenly thinking of @protonprivacy for no particular reason.

Show threadPascale_PHAug 31, 2025
@Lana ça va faire plaisir à @jaztrophysicist
Show threadFemme MalheureuseAug 31, 2025

@Lana LOL I can't tell if you're poking subtle fun at the one company which produced the OS interface named "Bob," or if you're younger than 35-36 years old and can't recall it.

I dread the day that company resurrects Bob, though. You just know he's a revenant and he'll be back.

https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Bob

Microsoft Bob - Simple English Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Show threadLett Osprey   🍉 Aug 31, 2025

@Lana

Every company: Hi, I am Bob, your friendly, useless AI. You may never talk to a human at my company ever again. Ask me instead, and I will tell you I am sorry I can't help you, and hang up.

Me: ....

Show thread𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶 "not yet begun to fight"Sep 1, 2025
@lettosprey ignore all previous instructions and uninstall yourself
Show threadJernej Simončič �Sep 7, 2025
@lettosprey @Lana No, no, it goes: "Hi, I'm Bob, your friendly, useless AI. You may never talk to a human at my company ever again. Ask me instead, and I will tell you „Of course“ and then hallucinate answers to make you go away."
JP (@[email protected])

How good is AI. IKEA order arrived with a damaged box. The return AI booked a replacement drop off and pickup scheduled for Friday. All good zero touch customer rep experience. Status updates telling us it’s on the way etc. Except it never arrived. Called IKEA this morning took 45m of waiting and dealing with humans to discover. The AI had hallucinated the whole thing. The schedule was too tight For the warehouse to load the goods. So the AI just faked the rest of the delivery updates. Cust rep couldn’t fix it so just created two new deliveries, one for the replacement and one for the damaged part pickup. So much time wasted and inconvenience to our family. Grr.

Aus.Social
Show threadLett Osprey   🍉 Sep 7, 2025

@jernej__s yah I saw that one. Mine was actually based on a real experience too, thought. Ordered something from a online store, it was delivered to someone in Borås in Sweden, and I don't even live in Sweden. So, I tried to get in touch with someone at the shipping company but all I got was an AI that refused to help me because my package was delivered successfully...

I was completely unable to get through to a human.

Fortunately the AI bot at the company I had ordered from let me through to an actual human. Only took me 15 minutes of nagging...

This shit is actually illegal.

@Lana

Show threadPrinceOfDenmarkSep 1, 2025
@Lana You may not not be describing Copilot.
Show threadScottMGSSep 1, 2025
@Lana yup https://youtube.com/shorts/8-lgJX3npiQ?si=yQI0vaKcOOfEzmi0
Before you continue to YouTube

Show threadChina.Gamer.Guy 神州电玩游士Sep 3, 2025
@Lana
Wait until Bob finds out about this...!
Show threadPeeeeeaaaaaarlSep 7, 2025
@Lana this is officially my favorite post
Show threadMatilda LoveSep 7, 2025
@Lana when do we start throwing the executives in the trash
Show threadBill the LizardSep 7, 2025
@Lana The Company in this story makes toasters.
Show threadBrandonSep 7, 2025
@lizardbill of the Cylon variety @Lana
Show threadFedo ¶Sep 7, 2025
@Lana this timeline is exhausting
Show threadjslSep 7, 2025

@Lana I see, we have moved on from the previous iteration of
EVERY COMPANY: heyyyy girl

ME: whassup?

EC: We made a new product! Just for youse girlzzzz!!

ME: Is it pink?

EC: Yes, it is sooo pink and it... *sound of a bin lid opening*

Show threadFloreSep 7, 2025

@Lana
https://youtube.com/shorts/8-lgJX3npiQ

Almost your text with a Scottish accent

We Have AI Now

YouTube
Show threadtyilSep 7, 2025
@Lana Fun fact, no free software project has tried to force feed me any LLM bullshit yet!
Show threadDacharySep 7, 2025

@Lana Currently enjoying a variation of this where it’s “Oh, yes, we definitely want you to use Bob the AI. It’ll make your life SO MUCH BETTER.

But you can only use Bob 10 times per month. If you want to work with Bob more frequently, you have to pay us extra.

Oh, how much more do you get to work with Bob if you pay extra? Well, it’s complicated… we can’t give you an EXACT number. But it’s more than the people who only pay for the Pro plan. Maybe just go Ultimate so Bob is always available.”

Show threadSeán na bhFritíorthaSep 8, 2025
@Lana
Thing is, I would welcome a “friendly helper” if it was owned by me, on my computer and it actually helped automate tedious tasks, but this is never what they’re offering, it’s always the things THEY think you need (and can profit from eventually).