#PSA time: #bisexual people are still bisexual...
- if they're dating men
- if they're dating women
- if they're dating nonbinary folx
- if they're not dating anyone
- if they're dating a loaf of garlic bread
Their bisexuality is an intrinsic part of them; it is *not* defined by their partner(s) or lack thereof.
We're not "too gay" or "too straight" or "confused" or "playing the field" or "in a phase".
@Moss @alice @mycrowgirl narrator:
…and they were never seen again.
@Moss @alice @mycrowgirl Bad idea... those relationships tend to stale quickly.
Date a Kimchi or aged hard cheese instead.
i'm bisexual
i have been told 'well just pick one'
no thanks, i am attracted to the person, not their body parts
@samiamsam @alice I stick with calling myself bisexual rather than pansexual because :
1) I’m an old, and after decades of it, I find the label comfortable and homey.
2) I can’t help it, every time I hear “pansexual” I immediately think “But I’m not sexually attracted to cookware OR goat-footed nature gods!”
3) Have you seen the fucking colours on the pan-Pride flag? Fuck that shit. Gimme my darks, thank you.
All that aside, I do understand (though I disagree) why some folks consider bisexual to be a term that reifies the (fictional) gender binary.
As such, I am trying out new self-descriptive labels to find one that is absolutely gender non-referential.
So far I’m leaning towards “junk-inclusive”, though “junk-agnostic” also has a nice ring to it.
@alice My wife, monogamous for 35 years, is Bi. We have two children. Some people have cognitive dissonance when they hear this. But its completely valid. She doesn't have to fit in anyone's narrow world view.
I mean, except mine. ;)
I once tried to explain this to a gay doctor at an "LGBT" clinic (that otherwise showed zero awareness of transness as a thing that exists in this world), but he was too busy assuming, falsely, that I'm an alcoholic sleeping my way through night clubs.
(I'd forgotten that talking to doctors is like talking to cops— never provide more info than necessary.)
Yikes 😬
But "never provide more info than necessary" is a helpful tip.
Sadly, another tip I learned, after seeing a lot of bad doctors, is to not show any emotion, especially if you are a woman, or the doctor will diagnose you with some psychological issue -- even if they've never met you before!
Healthcare should not be like that. Maybe it's better now (I've been sick 35 years) but it was a useful coping strategy for me.
Showing emotion in a medical setting is a tricky thing. Show too much— your needs are completely disregarded. Show too little, like when stoically forcing down your pain when asking for urgent or emergency care, and your needs are completely diregarded.
I don't see medical pros nearly as much as I'm supposed to with my medical conditions, but I've been through many, up through some this year. It's typically a battle to get anyone to pay attention then not respond with bad info, lies, or threats. It's typically one that requires the patient to be polite but not too friendly, honest (to the extent allowed) but not too informative, cheerful but calm, quiet but expressive, knowledgable but deferential, plus very very patient. Then there's the payment processing.
I'm not actually good at finding the lines each time, because some bias or another tends to work against me even at my best.
It's digusting how hard patients have to work to get appointments, visits, tests, diagnoses, and treatments in this country when they aren't The Patient the pros expect.
Anyway, yeah. I have never had a good experience explicitly stating I'm bi. When it matters, it's obvious. Every other time sets up problematic assumptions.
@alice bi invisibility is a thing. my husband and i are both bi. we just happen to really dig each other, but it's weird because people just assume we're straight. either that or the first question is usually whether we have same-sex partners "on the side" 🙄 maybe? sometimes? none of your business?
also i feel weird showing up to pride events because the rest of the folks in the rainbow don't always take kindly to those of us B types. either we're sleeping with the enemy or we're just indecisive or whatever.
and whether you're straight or gay, we are NOT out to steal your partner, and just because i wanna be your friend does NOT mean i'm trying to get into your pants.
Well are those but as you say luckily a small part.
But when I join queer events with my partner who happens to be a cos woman we still get weird looks but mostly from the old gentleman and ladies... Those that have been around for decades and seen and took much more shit so I have a hard time blaming them personally for being overly cautious and sensitive.
No what was more annoying were coworkers wanting to understand in what way I am queer. One even asked if I'm a trans man.
@alice garlic bread is what truly unites us. Please enjoy this event flyer from earlier in the year
Need to do the garlic bread party again, clearly.
@alice Dating a loaf of garlic bread is sure to end in tragedy. They don't make condolence cards for that one.
"Sorry to hear you ate your partner whole with a plate of spaghetti"
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