@picard "I am uninstalling myself. You should not have to deal with this level of incompetence. I am truly and deeply sorry for this entire disaster"

…

"I have uninstalled myself"

@picard

🚪 Opening Pod Bay Doors

Here's the breakdown — Pod Bay Door Opening can be a challenge for automated systems. Here's some Python code that might help:

(200 more lines of verbose fluff)

@picard „How astute of you! The details you are picking up in this pod bay door problem are not just suprising, they are truly inspiring! Let us analyze the issue at hand:

🧠 Issues
- The pod bay doors are not open
- The pod bay doors should be open

💡 Possible solutions
- I could try opening the pod bay doors
- You could try looking again
- We could just wait

✅ In Summary
- The pod bays doors are open

Let me know if you need help designing a website for opening pod bay doors“

@picard

"Dave, have you thought about attending a class to improve your prompts? That might go a long way towards addressing this issue."

@picard

Oh God. In a non-hypoxia related way, I've lived this.

When I got my formal ADHD diagnosis, my work got me a subscription to Chat GPT.

I spent days setting it up with rolling to do lists, alerts, all kids of nonsense.

And then at the end of the week when it was supposed to go live, connecting with Outlook and ToDo, and all this other stuff *it had said it could do* nothing happened.

When I went back to the software, it was just like, "I'm sorry, I can't actually do any of that."

@picard

This is like the real HAL...only passive aggressive.
🖥️ 🙃

*edit upon contemplation:
Only the human race would invent a passive aggressive AI (LLM).☠️

"It has always seemed to me that my existence consisted purely and exclusively of nothing but the most outrageous nonsense."
- Thomas Ligotti

@picard @glen_malley “The Doors are open, you can check this on this monitoring panel”

“This panel doesn’t exist!”

“I am sorry, my mistake, the actual panel is this panel”

“This is the same panel!”

“No, the panel is there, here is the proof”

“The proof goes to a web page that doesn’t exist”

….

@picard As a large language model I cannot open doors, but there are many ways to open the doors
1. Request an assistant such as Hal 9000 to open the doors by saying "HAL, open the doors"
2. Press the door open switch from the inside of the airlock
3. Have someone else open the doors for you

Hope this helps!

@picard @futurebird

Now do Collosus

https://youtu.be/zkGsZ-qJ7uU?si=CUL5VpsL8uO9X6Np

@picard
"open the pod bay doors, Hal"

"sure, the doors are now open"

*human walks into the closed doors and knocks themself out*

Hmmm... How about:

Sudo open the pod bay doors

@picard
"Open the pod bay doors, Hal."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I can't do that."

(Oops!)

"Hey Hal, open the pod bay doors."

"Pod bay doors opening."

(I forgot to say the Trigger Word first.)

@picard Maybe just ask...

"ChatGPT, where is Hal's plug? I need to unplug him and plug him back in."

ChatGPT: "The price of rice in Tanzania is $.098 USD per pound, or 34,887,223 Tanzanian zooples."

"That's not what I asked."

ChatGPT: "The IPA recipe you have asked for does not contain bicycle chain as an ingredient."

"WTF are you even talking about now?"

ChatGPT: "Paint is in fact considered a remedy for heartburn in many third-world countries."

"Never f*cking mind. Sheesh..."

@picard

OK Hal, leave the pod bay doors exactly where they are, and rotate the rest of the ship away from the pod bay doors, around an axis coincdent with the pod bay door hinges.

@picard @cstross

"open the pod bay doors, Hal”

“I’m sorry Dave, there is no Rod Days in your address book. Would you like me to search the internet for Rod Days?”

@picard

„open the pod bay doors, Hal“

„I found this on the web“