Rat Can't Read (she/her)Jun 6, 2025

I haven't been posting as regularly on Mastodon, and now, when I do log on and want to say something, I always feel as though I need to start with some sort of apology or explanation.

The explanation is that, as much as I can while still maintaining my #Covid precautions like wearing an #N95 mask anytime I'm in public, I've still been exploring my #kink journey.

A lot has happened to me in the past year--a lot has happened to the world in the past year--and I have some thoughts about #kink, my relationship with my #bisexuality, and #love. And it's #PrideMonth.

Since I joined Mastodon, I have been Very Online™️ about my struggles with accepting myself as #bi, with the #biphobia I've encountered in #LGBTQ spaces, and with the disconnect of what my life could have been had I come out sooner or had the on-going #Covid19 #pandemic not stalled some of those explorations.

So I have a thread...

Show threadRat Can't Read (she/her)Jun 6, 2025

I've always said that I was so messily and chaotically Online™️ about coming out as #bi and being #kinky because no one that I could find was talking about these topics in a way that quite resonated with me. And I wanted to give voice to a lot of my feelings and struggles, if only because in being vocal about them, perhaps someone else who was struggling in the ways that I was could find them and at least feel a little bit less alone that I did. I felt like I couldn't give answers or closure or anything concrete like that, but there is at least some comfort in watching someone else wrestle with similarly difficult feelings and ambiguities. If nothing else, I wanted to give someone else that comfort.

And overall, the #kindness, #compassion and #gentleness that I received from so many people on this platform was truly generous! I feel a deep sense of gratitude to the Mastodon community, especially the #queer folks on this site, for your responses

Show threadRat Can't Read (she/her)Jun 6, 2025
Right now, I can't bring myself to go back and reread some of my previous threads angsting about my coming out as #bisexual because I imagine that they're too cringe. At some point, I will probably be able to accept and reread them, but not right now. But so many of you read them! And so many of you offered #compassion, whether that was in commiserating about the #biphobia and #panphobia within so many #LGBTQ spaces or in offering a kind of gentle and generous acceptance of my messy and conflicted feelings and my #grief over who I could have been in a more accepting world. I am so thankful that Mastodon offered me a space to work through those feelings and connect with people who responded with thoughtfulness and patience and kindness. I don't know that there's any other online space where I could have found that kind of response. So, if you ever interacted with any of my posts about my #ComingOut as #bi later in life, thank you!
Show threadWillow (she/her)Jun 6, 2025

@TheRatCantRead as a fellow bi person who is also kinky, and also probably chronically messy online... Hi!

I love chatting and learning about kink and bdsm. And like you I think sometimes posting my rambling messy thoughts and processing can help other people who are struggling similarly 💕

Show threadRat Can't Read (she/her)
@MsHearthWitch , hello! Yes, being willing to ramble and process online can definitely help other people who are similarly struggling, and as messy and vulnerable as it can feel, my hope is that it can at least show people that they're not alone, especially for folks who are bi and/or kinky or who don't fit into the mainstream in certain ways 💕
Jun 6, 2025 at 5:16pmWeb