sobkas
CatSalad🐈🥗 (D.Burch) 
Any advice on how I should comfort my computer?
Álvaro Shiza Vieira ✨@catsalad warm and cozy
*The* Paul BrownIt may take more than that. Apple computers always feel to me like those kids you read about rescued from abusive parents that also happen to be religious nuts in a death cult.
Some de-programming may be necessary.
viq
Mistress Remilia@catsalad A nice bath with some lavender oil, maybe some soothing new age music...
Mandu 🥟@catsalad hold snugly in your warm embrace and whisper “everything will be ok.”
bazkie don't live here no more@catsalad give it the boot
@catsalad send it to bootcamp
Teapot Ben@catsalad that's me every morning when I wake up!
bbdd333
0xC0DEC0DE07E9@catsalad waking up in the morning like ☝️
Anyia, complicated 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈@catsalad such insecure attachment can be a side effect of only having wireless connections; try connecting using Ethernet cable instead, and make sure the rj45 is securely plugged in 💜
Raphael@catsalad Just some self-assertions, enough sleep at night, and recharging weekends.
Melissa BearTrix
ChookMother 🇦🇺🦘@catsalad Support group of similarly afflicted computers?
patcanfield@catsalad Unplug. Plug in again at 3:30Am.
TrèsFluke 🍁@catsalad Give it some nutritious Linux and watch it thrive.
@darrenmorin Install Puppy Linux and call it a good girl?
Hazel the Harridan@catsalad take it for a relaxing stroll in the woods. That always perks me up.
paulRGB Lighting
🤯Matera the Mad🤯@catsalad Check the feng shui and knit a hoodie for it
Orca 🌻 | 🎀 | 🪁 | 🏴🏳️⚧️@catsalad
Was the
https://wiki.debian.org/SecureBoot
Was the
shim bootloader instructed to not verify kernel image? You can do mokutil --enable-validation to change that, but you need a kernel image signed with valid signature to boot after this. Many well-known distributions have their kernel image signed and pubkey submitted for validation by shim.https://wiki.debian.org/SecureBoot
Bruce Heerssen@catsalad
Connect it to a VPN and say that will solve all of its problems.
Connect it to a VPN and say that will solve all of its problems.
Benjamin@catsalad If anyone also knows how to make my server feel supported please let me know.
@BenjaminNelan "We believe in you, server! We're here for you if you need to talk."
Daniele Verducci 🧉
Runsinthewind@catsalad socks win32 😹
StellaFoxxie 
@catsalad me when i wake up in the morning
🇺🇦 haxadecimal@catsalad
Me too, computer. Me too.
Me too, computer. Me too.
ScotsBear 🏴@catsalad Go into the bios.
Every computer needs its motherboard.
Every computer needs its motherboard.
Iodine@catsalad I find a conductive mesh security blanket does the trick
Ivi Choc@catsalad {{{}}} ó.ò
Geoff@catsalad I had a double-take after reading that as insincere mode
That could have led to a tough day at the office & many apologies
@strykeroz
Insincere mode is when you enable the integrated LLM
PointlessOne 
@catsalad Light its favorite scented candle and put next to its intake vent.
RejZoR@catsalad Pat him on the back ports and reassure him he's doing his best. Then restart and see if it helps booting into secure mode.
Bart Allen@catsalad Maybe take it out for a byte to eat.
Cliff'sEsportCorner@catsalad reminds me of possessed computer in https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=1#begin
dbat 
@catsalad This reminds me of teller-machines (at shops) that often display the words, "tender validation" and I go, "Aww, good machine, you are valid!" and give it a little pat.
Codey McCodeface
Machine Lord Zero@catsalad have you tried beating up an enshittification propagator?
Hugo Mills@catsalad I don't know, but if you find out, please tell me. My toner's low.
Bhante Subharo ☸️@catsalad don't let your laptop gaslight you. 
Jacket@catsalad Linux have been self aware all this time?!?
L U C I A N O@catsalad write it some words of affirmation
europlus 
Jonas@catsalad Maybe it's the BIOS
Martin Vermeer FCD@catsalad Reboot it in safe mode
7222e800 "memdmp"@catsalad cuddle it and tell it you love it unconditionally, maybe that'll make it more comfy and less insecure?
Amin Hollon 🏳you and me both, monitor
liebach not laibach@catsalad Buy a UPS for it, so it knows you care about the most important thing for it: power.
pecet 🦒
Dormouse
Anarch157a (He/Him/Ele)
Gabriele Marcosanti 
@catsalad threatening to turn it off and back on until it behaves may yeld surprising results.
seism0saurus
Goaty McGoatFace@seism0saurus @catsalad this is the comic I used more than once to explain what I do at work 😁
Ehay2k
Jay