Manuel LandesfeindMay 28
Max Leibman

Correlation does not prove causation! One popular example: shark attacks are more likely when ice cream sales are higher.

This relationship does not suggest that ice cream sales somehow cause shark attacks, however. Rather, both are related to some third factor—in this case, the activation of mind-control satellites, which are used both to market ice cream and to control sharks.

May 27 at 7:30pmWeb
Show threadnantucketlitMay 27
@maxleibman "Amity, after all, means 'friendship'"
Show threadSadieMay 27
@maxleibman
Correlation is not causation, but correlation and causation correlate.
Show threadKevin CheekMay 27

@maxleibman pretty sure it's that sharks love to prepare for hunting people by enjoying a nice ice cream treat

Or maybe it's just that people taste better when they are full of ice cream?

It's one or the other.

Show threadtessaraktMay 27
@kcheek @maxleibman Amputated body parts should be kept cold until medical aid is available. The best way to achieve that on a beach is by buying ice cream.
Show threadAndyWMay 28
@kcheek @maxleibman it’s the mind control. Everybody knows sharks are lactose intolerant.
Show threaddonMay 27
@maxleibman => ≠ ≡
Show threadDatalineMay 28
@maxleibman okay the pacing and punchline of this really got me 😂
Show threadBufordMMay 28
@maxleibman Chortle!
😄
Show threadKater-KetMay 28
@maxleibman Another infamous example: All people who mistake correlation for causation will die.
Show threadMatt Hardy 3.11 for WorkgroupsMay 28
@katerket @maxleibman Absolutely ridiculous. We keep the satellites active at all bzzt! I mean there's no such product as the CogniLazer LEO 3.25
Show threadMauro 🇵🇸May 28
@maxleibman I thought it was because both sharks and humans would fight for the ice cream
Show threadMans RMay 28
@maxleibman I thought it was simply that people bitten by sharks buy more ice-cream.
Show threadEarth NotesMay 28
@maxleibman Everyone who confuses correlation and causation dies...
Show threadDarkRatMay 28

@maxleibman Lots of people don't know this fact.

And it's a fun story. They actually only wanted to sell more ice cream, but accidentally also started to control sharks.
But the big increase in sales easily offset any shark snack, so they just didn't bother to fix it

Show threadAndrew  May 29
@maxleibman had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
Show threadJBrickelt963 ✊(φ)🚩May 29
@maxleibman ou pour rester dans votre exemple que : les ventes de crèmes glacés ont + lieux à proximité des plages, en été ou pendant les vacances ^^
Show threadMennoMay 31
@maxleibman
Have you considered that shark attacks *cause* people to nervously eat ice-cream?
Show threadWideEyedCurious 🇺🇸 💙 🇺🇦 & 🇨🇦Jun 6
@maxleibman 😂
Show threadnonlinearJun 7
@maxleibman The big cream knows that people never consume ice cream when actually in the water. They need reasons to make them LEAVE the water.
Show threadgkrnoursJun 7
@maxleibman the satellite run so hot, they cause summer
Show threadAlexJun 7
@maxleibman socks&underwear was worn during 99% of criminal activities!
We need to ban socks & underwear!
Show threadNeodimioJun 8
@maxleibman Well, is more likely that starving sharks prefer people plenty of energy (like after eating ice cream) that ones starving like them...
Show threadPrimoJun 9
@maxleibman coincidentally, gang shootings also correlate well with ice cream sales.
So gangs are kinda like sharks.
Show threadMax LeibmanJun 9
@Primo Unless they’re the Jets.
Show threadParade du Grotesque 💀Nov 28

@maxleibman

This is the kind of clear, factual, exposition I go to Mastodon for.

Thank you, kind sir!

Show threadJohn MaxwellNov 28
@maxleibman Also, sharks like ice cream.
Show threadWill Nov 28
@maxleibman Ice cream leads to brain freeze, which keeps you in the water long enough for the shark to have a tasty snack.
Show threadCubeRootOfTrueNov 28
@maxleibman The sharks are circling the house. Would you prefer electrocution?
Show threadWendizen 🇺🇦Nov 28
@maxleibman Nothing to do with warm weather or sweaty human bodies looking for relief?