Dan GoodinICE officers in paramilitary gear inquiring about the citizenship status of passengers on a Amtrak Empire Builder train. As someone who rides Amtrak a lot, what should I say and do if I'm ever stopped like this?
Mike Ely@dangoodin (assuming you're a US citizen) be polite, and try to waste as much of their time as you possibly can. Go onto tangents, act as though you don't understand their questions, answer their questions with questions, ask them about their jobs, where did they get those shoes, etc. If you've ever heard of "It's Lenny," do that. If you haven't heard of It's Lenny, go to YouTube and watch a couple examples. Then once you're done laughing, do what he does.
tl;dr: keep them busy doing nothing
Gary McGraw@me @dangoodin love it
Quinn Norton@me @dangoodin can I second this? Being incredibly slow, boring and bad at English, get them off on tangents, start describing scenes from movies.
aardvark
𝓛𝔁𝓼 / 𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕩𝕚𝕤 🏵🇪🇺💫@quinn @me @dangoodin in terms of films to relay in conversation : «Snow Piercer» could be suitable… (albeit a streaming series, rather than a film)
🍿 🚂 🪖
SiestⒶcortaIt's based on a film.
That is based on a comic book.
Ice, everywhere.😏
Stephen Bannasch (316 ppm)This sounds so much more useful/helpful than my first reaction which world be to say: “Eat shit and die you Nazi fucks, of course I’m a citizen!”
I’ve got a better idea. Do a grammelot version of Dennis’s (Michael Palin) dialog from the Constitutional Peasants skit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
ARTHUR (Graham Chapman): Old woman!
DENNIS (Michael Palin): Man!
ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I’m thirty-seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I’m thirty-seven. I’m not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can’t just call you ‘man.’
…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammelot
Read the full skit here: https://realityraiders.com/fringewalker/irreverent-humor/monty-python-holy-grail-constitutional-peasants/
Near the end of the skit:
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin’ I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! — HELP! HELP! I’m being repressed!
arclight@me @dangoodin I recommend "Killer Inside Me" by MC 900 Ft Jesus as an instructional soundtrack for this endeavor.
@arclight @dangoodin man it's been a while since I've played it, but I used to listen to the shit out of that song.