#actuallyautistic
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I mean, I’d never heard of Autism or neurotype, I didn’t know I was, “masking,” I just knew there was all this shit everyone has to do, school, work, marriage, and I was slow getting onto all of it, but I thought I’d managed it, had a job and a family and a house and a mortgage, despite not being made for any of it, it was all hard. I never knew why, but I always knew that nothing came naturally to me and the only thing that got me through was a three digit IQ - that’s neurotype, isn’t it, nothing automatic and a great deal of mental energy is spent navigating a world you don’t have the keys to.
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But I thought I found a way, I thought I’d made my way in that forever foreign world, and I took some pride in that.
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But learning late in life that not even family knows me, or understands anything I say, finding out that language doesn’t work from here to there, how are you supposed to deal with that? For me this the end of the flowchart, there’s nothing to be done, nothing to try next.
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All I can think about is that, that WTF are you supposed to do with no communications? 💔