Dimitar Haralanov
josef2025. you go to a website. you see all the elements on the page pop-in, loading one by one. it's like the 90s again. your internet connection might be hundreds of megabits per second. the web designer is using a 4k video file as a looping background, and that somehow loads quickly compared to all the actual useful elements on the page. three seconds, five seconds, ten seconds. each checkbox and table has to initialize its own software stack of UI abstraction libraries and surveillance middleware
european handle 
🎏@jk Every checkbox will spin up a whole new server in the background, because it's 'serverless', and kill it again when it's unchecked, no wonder it's slow.
i’m Mi@kurt @jk each checkbox looks slightly different, antialiases slightly different because of being rasterized at different number of megapixels, each launches a language model (on your graphics card, for legal reasons even, sends result back to the server also for supposed legal reasons) anew to generate its code into a serverless sandbox after it was added with yet another LLM-powered WYSIWYG web designer on top of a site created by a dozen different ones
@kurt @jk for vendor lock-in reasons, each of those sites were actually LLM-scraped and LLM-recreated in all parts except the most recently added ones, because that's how you add things with a different LLM WYSIWYG web designer when you can only edit the source files of another in the one it was created in, but the scrapers can rework the final form
for convoluted reasons, banks warn against sites that load suspiciously quickly and seem too consistent and plain correct
for convoluted reasons, banks warn against sites that load suspiciously quickly and seem too consistent and plain correct
Dubious Blur@jk that’s me in the other corner, with the Clojure language and the Electric Clojure compiler slicing my display and calculation logic along a complex contour out of sight that makes my application as fast as it ought to be.
grepe@jk it somehow reminds me the section about the things having emotion processing chips for some reason from the hitchhikers guide to galaxy:
“All the doors in this spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.”
As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sigh-like quality to it. “Hummmmmmmyummmmmmm ah!” it said.
@grepe sirius cybernetics corp was very on-the-money for the AI agent/internet-of-things racket. sci-fi that predicts utopia or dystopia is often hit-or-miss compared to predicting that things will simply end up stupid and annoying
Advanced Persistent Teapot
Log 🪵@http_error_418 @jk @grepe When they were in the mood to do so.
[Exaggeratedly oversatisfied sigh from being able to open and close for someone today.]
Niacreluctantly presses the "share" and "enjoy" buttons
Erpel@jk the only thing we got rid of is the sound of the modem 
Jonathan Perry@jk The next generation of websites will be hallucinated by AI trained on this generation of websites created by graduates who could write a binary search algorithm on a whiteboard
arclight@JonathanPerry @jk if there is a 'next time', the next time I have a job interview that has a whiteboarding exercise, I'm taking my copy of Sedgwick's "Algorithms" or "Hacker's Delight" out of my shoulder bag, dropping it on the table, telling them to look it up themselves, and stop wasting my fucking time.
Assuming future job interviews aren't just a Zoom call trying to convince an LLM you too are a robot.
I do not regret leaving sysadminnery to go back to nuclear safety analysis. It's just a better class of clients, coworkers, managers, and problems.
@arclight @JonathanPerry @jk at least some job interviews nowadays are simply optimised to waste as much time as possible without any need for some kind of input from the hiring manager... and that's not even side effect, but the actual purpose of the process. have you ever done a one-sided video interview? you record yourself talking about specific topics and upload the video somewhere!
wb x64@grepe @arclight @JonathanPerry @jk Jesus, how dystopian
And there's a good chance there is no job, they're just harvesting what you provide for more AI / scamming
Tom DB 🦣@arclight @JonathanPerry @jk That one made me laugh and cry at the same time. Interviewers often don’t even know de job content of the functions they’re hiring for.
su_liam@JonathanPerry @jk The generation after that, assuming there’s still an internet and we’re not reduced to hitting each other with sticks, will be hallucinated by AIs trained on the hallucinations of previous AIs. The human internet will be reduced to webrings and addresses shared on illicit forums on the “dork web.”
cerementdraw a parallel with Einstein’s quote of “World War IV would be fought with sticks and stones” – Web 3.0 is the crypto scams and AI slop – Web 4.0 will be Gemini Protocol and Berners-Lee HTML and Gopher
Ditol@jk
Waiting for the dial-up connection scammers to come back.
Waiting for the dial-up connection scammers to come back.
Alex P. 👹@jk
sometimes the surveillance middleware has names like "post hog" so you can't help but laugh, just a touch
sometimes the surveillance middleware has names like "post hog" so you can't help but laugh, just a touch
Inga stands with 🇺🇦 🇵🇸@saddestrobots @jk ah, the queerphobic one!
@saddestrobots @jk basically I interviewed for a job with them, received a rejection, had to pressure them into giving me the promised feedback, and eventually they sent me the internal feedback which mentioned, among many other things, this as one of rejection reasons:
> Finally, we have the company policy of not discussing politics. She had some pretty strong politically motivated messages on her wall, which will likely cause discomfort and ample discussions (lost productivity) with some employees.
(I had a progress pride flag on my wall.)
Roland \ Willard@IngaLovinde @jk
oh, shit. that's low.
thanks for sharing that. and i'm sorry they fucked you over.
David Perris@jk Ads load first. Content loads last.
TobyBartels
Paul Barnfather@jk followed by a modal overlay for cookie “approval” approximately 500ms after you have started navigating the content…🤪
always tired
jer
Chris Hodges@jk In one way it's worse than the 90s: the elements that have arrived all too often get moved around when others come in. And on the rare occasions the useful item loads early, it jumps just as you go to click on it
bimmer HAS MOVED
Chris Lael@jk And a split second before you tap/click on what you want, another element pops in right where you're tapping, so you have to go back and reload the page again.
JamesTDG@jk and then like half the page struggles to even function because it's either eating up too much ram or can't access a really specific server
Alecia Batson (she/her)@jk This reads like choose-your-own-adventure. The next toot in the thread would be similar to…
You can
(1) Quit the web browser to prevent nonresponsive processes from potentially interfering with other applications and go to the kitchen to make a sandwich. 🥪
(2) Leave the web browser window open and, while waiting for the interminable web page to load, go to the kitchen to make a sandwich. 🥪
Bernhard Hofmann 🇬🇧 🇨🇭 🇺🇦@jk I don't recall who told me about this but OMW they're fast! 😃
@jk plus ça change plus la meme chose
Ben Serrette
CyberFrog
MacCruiskeen
🆎@jk the antidote to all this is the McMaster-Carr website.
It's an absolute treat.
Snapai 
@jk Don't forget the search box that actively fights with the subscription and deal popups, begins searching while you're typing, including for your typoes, and there's about a 50% chance it will mess up where the insertion point is while you're typing, searching for a surreal rearrangement of what you were trying to look for
@Snapai earlier today i typed my query in the search box of an online store who presumably want to sell things to me. i typed in the product i was looking for, and i hit enter. nothing. i pressed the "search" button next to the box. nothing. just absolutely nothing
Vysogota@jk I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you don't understand anything about appealing ux design. Welcome to the club, there are literally dozens of us 
Joe Ortiz@jk And with the death of Net Neutrality in the US, expect this to become even worse.
Dan Hoover@jk Given any set of resources it is human nature to consume absolutely all of it, or at least grow consumption until the system breaks.
biscuit 🏴@jk very true
Leminski@jk you attempt to click a link or box or something. It jumps position as another element loads in.
Greg Bell@jk when you click on a checkbox then for 2 days every ad you see will be for checkboxes
P@jk My phone today is so much more powerful than 10 years ago but Instagram still runs as slow. Go figure.
Possumantha@jk when I made websites each image was degraded just to the point where you would not notice. Gotta shave the kilobits.
Ridscherli@jk 2025, there are laws forcing companies to provide their imprint on an easy-to-access location on their website. Great, just a short scroll towards the end of the page...what? ok, another scroll, and another...damned one-page theme. How I hate that putting the footer some kilometers away.
Furbland's Very Cool Mastodon™
Haelwenn /элвэн/ 
@GroupNebula563 @jk Or
<figure><img src="css-anti-christ.jpeg"><figcaption>Good old HTML goes brrrr~</figcaption></figure>
Deadly Headshot@GroupNebula563
I was still using HTML tables for formatting sites in 2011/12. It was only late in 2012 I started to update my techniques. Fortunately (or sadly for archival purposes), I don't think any of those sites I made that way are still online...
@jk
I was still using HTML tables for formatting sites in 2011/12. It was only late in 2012 I started to update my techniques. Fortunately (or sadly for archival purposes), I don't think any of those sites I made that way are still online...
@jk