We've been sold a story about anger. That it's inevitable, justified, necessary. That it's something that happens TO us rather than something we choose.

The amygdala fires. The blood pressure rises. The fists clench.

But here's the thing: while the initial spark might be automatic, the bonfire is optional.

The market manipulation makes me angry. The political corruption makes me angry. The trolls make me angry. The hate makes me angry. The transphobia makes me angry...

Except it doesn't.

It's simply asking: "Is this anger serving me? Is it serving anyone?"

For me, usually, it isn't.

The trick isn't processing the anger or justifying it or reframing it.

The trick is noticing I'm choosing it.

Several times a day, I notice the choice. Several times a day, I put down the rocks.

The anger will still be there if I need it. But chances are, I won't.

This isn't bullshit positive thinking or spiritual bypassing or pretending everything is fine.

It's recognizing that anger is a tool, not a master.

Here's the real cost: carrying that anger means I can't carry anything else. No space for creation. No energy for the work that matters. No capacity for change.

My best work happens when my hands are free.

@Daojoan

That's perfect! Thank you.

I once read that "Anger is a secondary emotion. It's what you feel when you fail to process through other emotions". That helps me realize how useless anger is, and to look for the real emotions.

Edit: note that those other emotions can drive serious motivation too, the way people claim anger can.

@TCatInReality @Daojoan

I think anger is a secondary emotion, so does my therapist, and a lot of other professionals.

I have yet to find an instance of feeling angry, where there isn't something else going on underneath, usually the basic feeling is not feeling safe, and the emotion is fear.

@siobhansarelle @TCatInReality @Daojoan Sure. But, thinking on it, my having had my rights as a citizen of the EU confiscated from me on the whim of 17,410,742 of my compatriots who valued their own identical rights at nothing, engenders no fear. Only anger.

John Lydon was right about one thing: anger IS an energy. Sadly, he was wrong about #Brexit . Confirming what we all know - we can all be right about one thing & wrong about another.