netzvagabundDec 19, 2024
mhoye

Is there a website that will let you hear all the beeps that a device might make before you buy it? That would be invaluable to a certain kind of person, namely "like me."

I want to hear:
- the you-touched-a-button beep
- the jobs-done beep
- some good-news beeps
- the bad-news beeps.

I care a lot less about The Best Microwave or The Best Toaster, we're already at the absolute upper margins of modern convenience here. Nobody seems to ask: which one of these is the least annoying?

Dec 18, 2024 at 3:27pmWeb
Show threadNinad PundalikDec 18, 2024
@mhoye automotive reviews have just started opining about this. I'm sure it'll eventually permeate to other product categories
Show threadHenrik Kramselund - kramse šŸ‰Dec 18, 2024
@mhoye I am very close to throwing out an egg cooker that keeps screaming at me when done
Show threadmhoyeDec 18, 2024
@kramse I have disassembled more than one appliance and filled the speaker with silicone for that exact reason. Sometimes I use foam tape. This stuff is intolerable.
Show threadCatDec 19, 2024
@kramse @mhoye I think I read about this one somewhere
Show threadBill HookerDec 18, 2024
@mhoye You can turn the sounds off in most microwaves these days. No good if you still want *some* notification, but we've got used to a silent microwave very quickly.
Show threadJoeDec 19, 2024
@sennoma Generally that humm of the magnetron is enough to let us know it's running. @mhoye
Show threadMarcos DioneDec 18, 2024

@mhoye missing in the list:

* boot up sound (I kid you not, my washing machine does that)
* power down sound

Show threadSnaprailsDec 19, 2024
@mdione
Mine plays a happy little tune when itā€™s finished the cycle. It plays a sad little tune when you turn it off. That feature can be disabled but somehow Iā€™ve never got around to doing so šŸ™‚
@mhoye
Show threadCatDec 19, 2024
@snaprails @mdione @mhoye the Kyocera copier at work emerges from its "sleep" machine coma and gives me a cheery tone roughly approximating "Mornin'!" when I walk past it for the first time when i get in. It's entirely unnecessary for a business machine to do this, but at least someone is happy to see me
Show threadLeliDec 18, 2024

@mhoye oh yes please! I regret buying my otherwise great air frier because the peep is insufferable

Oh and info on how long the sound will go on without intervention ā€¦ specifically dryers that will peep every minute until they get attention

Just make all the beeps optional and we wouldnā€™t even need the website

Show threadCatDec 19, 2024
@leli @mhoye OH NO my microwave can't stand the idea that I might want to let my nuclear temperature food sit in there for 61 seconds or more. If i get busy in the kitchen it gives me nagging beeps every few minutes seemingly forever
Show threadJaneishlyDec 18, 2024
@mhoye This is one of the two main reasons I chose a car from 2012 last time I bought one. And I still have to switch off the reversing beep every time I get in it. Designers just don't take autistic people into account.
Show threadJim SpathDec 18, 2024
@mhoye "Ding tones!"
Show threadTim KukulskiDec 18, 2024
@mhoye i still want the bowie/mercury special edition instant pot to exist.
Show threadplay in progressDec 18, 2024
@mhoye ugh I would really really like to have recordings of the sounds devices make just by running "silently". The sounds that "nobody hears anyway" lol because I do.
Show threadYvanDec 18, 2024

@mhoye also disclosure of LED colours and behaviours...

* Has a blue LED that shines like the birth of a small sun, if you close your eyes you can see your own blood vessels. LED blinks at seemingly random intervals that we have tuned to generate a perfect dissonance.

Show threadmhoyeDec 18, 2024
@yvan Oh yeah, absolutely. "Does it blink at you? What color and frequency?"
Show threadSnaprailsDec 19, 2024
@yvan black PVC tape has been deployed here on one particular example of such a blue LED on a DECT phone charger stand.
@mhoye
Show threadAverixusDec 18, 2024
@mhoye I have long wished for a directory of products which simply do not beep. My microwave has a mechanical bell ding and nothing else, and I'm so worried about what I'll do if it eventually dies.
Show thread@MyKommentDec 18, 2024
@mhoye bloomin eck, yes please.
Suzuki make a pretty car but the beeps and warning are beyond sanity and theres no way of switching them off
Show threadBen ZaninDec 18, 2024
@mhoye I have a never-fails approach to gaining this knowledge: I wait until @mhoye purchases a device in a product segment, and then I know that one will be maximally annoying. With one end of the annoyance scale determined, I can then start comparing other options against that baseline!
Show threadJames šŸ¦‰ #FBPE šŸ‡ŖšŸ‡ŗDec 18, 2024
@mhoye Omg I bought this bluetooth speaker for like Ā£30 in Tesco years ago and it's brilliant, except when a device connects or disconnects it goes DAA DAA DA DAAA At full volume. It's so loud I can hear it outside my house when I leave and come back. And then, when it's "low" on battery (albums worth of play left) it pauses the music every 30 seconds to go DUUUUUUUH. Why god, why??
Show threadGemma ā­ļøšŸ”°šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡ø šŸ‡µšŸ‡­ šŸŽDec 18, 2024
@mhoye All I ask is for blue LEDs to be banned.
Show threadTony WellsDec 18, 2024

@mhoye

I bought an expensive microwave oven that had a beep that was smoke alarm loud. Luckily it died after an hour. Lots of research later, I bought a Samsung that you can turn the beeping off.

Show threadDan LeechDec 18, 2024
@mhoye they're all annoying, destroy all beeps!
Show threadStewart RussellDec 19, 2024
@mhoye the worst beeps are the Toyota Prius backup beeps: they are only audible inside the car
Show threadmhoyeDec 19, 2024
@scruss what the what
Show threadStewart RussellDec 19, 2024

@mhoye yes: that's what our 2015 Prius does. It yells "Hey I'm backing up" at the driver, who it is fairly safe to assume knows they are backing up

Also the car beeps three times if you step out the car with the engine running and open/close a door. Makes early morning defrosting a delight for the neighbours

Show threadSnaprailsDec 19, 2024
@scruss my mate had a Lexus with beeps like that. Absolutely pointless. @mhoye
Show threadChookMother šŸ‡¦šŸ‡ŗšŸ¦˜Dec 20, 2024
@scruss @mhoye My Nissan Leaf does the same. It simultaneously plays a kind of scifi sound effect on the outside. Why both? Who knows?
Show threadIrinaDec 19, 2024
@mhoye We used to have a beepy coffee maker, and I learned to distinguish the almost inaudible click it made before beeping so I could run and turn it off.
Show threadspilt infinitiveDec 19, 2024
@mhoye also important to know, does this device have an insanely bright blue LED that you can't turn off?
Show threadAdam Jacobs šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡¦Dec 19, 2024

@mhoye Not that hearing beeps before you buy is a bad thing, but I'm going to have to disagree with you on toasters.

I bought a toaster recently. It was the devil's own job to find one that had slots large enough to fit an actual slice of bread in.

A surprisingly basic failing for a toaster.

Show threadā’·ā“”ā“”ā“£ā“£Dec 19, 2024
@mhoye great idea! My last heater was so annoying I opened it up and snapped the little speaker off the pcb.
Show threadMartin HamiltonDec 19, 2024
@mhoye The Internet of Noisy Things! Samsung here, just casually knocking the ball out of the park... (with a little help from our pianist friend) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAoVDOkNq3k
Washing Machine Concerto - Die Forelle, Op. 32, D. 550 - Franz Schubert

YouTube
Show threadNick AppleyardDec 19, 2024
@mhoye
I have a floor cleaner that has a voice simulator to me to remind me to ā€œempty the dirty water tankā€ or to ā€œbegin self-cleaning cycleā€.
Havenā€™t found out how to make it stop, other than with violence.
Show threadCatDec 19, 2024
@nick_appleyard @mhoye mine's speaking voice is not aligned to his gender identity
Show threadNick AppleyardDec 19, 2024

@mhoye @catmisgivings

Ah, yes. Dysflooria.

Show threadRoss BurtonDec 19, 2024
@mhoye Last time we bought a microwave I spent far too long determining the noises it made so absolutely that needs to happen
Show threadRoss BurtonDec 19, 2024
@mhoye Also my washing machine and dishwasher typically run at night, so I want a quiet beep that finishes, not some repeating chorus to wake everyone up
Show threadJoeDec 19, 2024
@mhoye Also, useless LEDs that light up the house at night. We have tape over the clock on the coffee pot because we don't set it, don't use it, and it's *really* bright.
Show threadKate Nyhan is changing serversDec 19, 2024
@mhoye
Would also be good to find out, is it too high-pitched for elderly people to hear? I know someone who is deaf to the song notifications produced by my rice cooker.
Show threadrequiem šŸ¦«Dec 19, 2024
@mhoye If you find it let us know, Iā€™d love to grab samples from it šŸ˜‡
Show threadMaggie MaybeDec 19, 2024

@mhoye if this website exists can we also add how much light it will be emitting when weā€™re not using it?

When I lived in a studio apartment I had to unplug a whole bunch of things when I wasnā€™t using them if I couldnā€™t put electrical tape over the light that could stay there even when I was using it.

Show threadKarin!Dec 19, 2024
@mhoye I have the hardest time with tea kettles. So many make the most obnoxious sounds
Show threadBenjohnDec 19, 2024
@mhoye this reminding me that my mateā€™s Nisan car at university had an actual bell hidden away somewhere that it periodically pinged very nicely if you didnā€™t put on an seat belt, or left the lights on. I thought it was excellent. It just seemed such a thoughtful and considerate little feature.
Show threadTim Ward ā­šŸ‡ŖšŸ‡ŗšŸ”¶ #FBPEDec 19, 2024
@mhoye Yeah. Like the washing machine that bleeps to say it's finished. In the middle of the night. With bleeps that can't be turned off, not nohow.
Show threadthe notorious gztDec 19, 2024
@mhoye what I hate is that my microwave will do annoying beeps if you don't get your stuff out. Which would be okay if it were a minute later, but it's 30 seconds! Also opening the door doesn't interrupt the beep in progress, it finishes the annoying beep routine! This behavior absolutely MUST be disclosed to any purchaser in advance and just be enforced with heavy penalties.
Show threadCallistoDec 19, 2024
@mhoye The first household appliance I ever bought that sang a little tune was a rice cooker in the early '00s. Now it's all of them. Except the fridge and the stove, thank goodness, and if I have to replace them I expect a glee club with them too. LEDs that make your house like daylight all night, and a racket every time you use the things.
Show threadRomanceReviewsDec 19, 2024
@mhoye also why the heck canā€™t we turn the beeps off
zero beeps, itā€™s what the people want
Show threadYoraDec 19, 2024

@mhoye Can we have a EU law that all electronic devices must have a "No beeps" button?

We could combine this with a law that all electronic devices must have a "turn off all LEDs button".

Show threadGrant GouldDec 19, 2024
@mhoye
There really needs to be an aftermarket in removing beepies and needless/hazardous touchscreens from otherwise extremely functional appliances.
"The same microwave but it doesn't beep" or "the same range but you don't reach across the flames to turn it off" seem like they would offer a much greater value.
Show threadGrant GouldDec 19, 2024
@mhoye The good news is that there's a certification body, Quiet Mark, for appliance noise.
The bad news is that afaict their ratings are ostentatiously nonquantitative and obsessed with "does the microwave door close with too many high frequencies" and never even mention interface noises.
Show threadPrincess UnikittyDec 19, 2024
@mhoye
Every time I lose power I have to turn my microwave's sounds back off because it absolutely *SHRIEKS* when the food is done and it does not stop until you open the door.
Show threadJustin DerrickDec 19, 2024

@mhoye Had a new dishwasher installed this week - I was pleasantly surprised when the tech asked ā€œHow loud do you want it to beep?ā€

I didnā€™t know it was an option. I immediately asked ā€œCan it be completely silent?ā€ And he said it could.

Thereā€™s nothing more annoying than being woken up by the dishwasher beeping repeatedly after midnight to tell me my dishes are clean. Like, Iā€™ll find out in the morning.

Show threadarestelleDec 19, 2024
@mhoye breville has microwaves where you can turn off the beeps entirely. Bliss.
Show threadJessie Nabein Dec 19, 2024

@mhoye someone should spin up a git repo for this... someone like me...

https://codeberg.org/jessienab/SoundsOfThings

SoundsOfThings

Repo tracking and sharing the sounds that various things make: appliances, tools, timers, etc.

Codeberg.org
Show threadmhoyeDec 19, 2024
@jessienab How do you feel about forms for ease-of-submission?
Show threadJessie Nabein Dec 19, 2024

@mhoye A form would probably be a better method of submission. Do you have any suggestions for something that isn't google forms? Since that requires a Google account and I prefer to not have to make one.

I am wondering if CryptPad software has a form based submission offering I could implement on my website.

I also did a bit of research and couldn't find any other project like this, but if something does appear it would definitely be better to assist with that.