dubbsAug 31, 2024
Gemma ๐Ÿ‘ฝ

1000 richest people are approched. "The end of the world is here. Time to go to your doomsday bunker", they are told. The billionaires nodded. They knew this was coming. They were prepared.

So they gathered their loved ones and locked themselves in luxury bunkers. No contact to outside world.

10 years later they emerge. The world has healed. The air is breathable, people are happy. "What was the catastrophy?" they ask the first person they meet.

She screams: "THEY GOT OUT!!!"

#microfiction

Dec 26, 2023 at 10:55amWeb
Show threadGemma ๐Ÿ‘ฝDec 26, 2023
Guys, the retoots are getting out of hand. Please calm your tits. 
Show threadJohann ๐Ÿ…žDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman
We will not.    
Show threadJake in the desertDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman gotta mute those notifications, I know, it gets nuts ๐Ÿคฃ
Show threadCalamity Joan ๐Ÿ˜ทDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman Never.
Show threadAiresDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman
Show threadpiesDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman You give us hope, poet.
Show threadGuillaume RacicotDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman my tits won't calm themselves, had to retoot
Show threadErik Uden ๐ŸšฉDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman this is the best fiction I've read in ages.
Show threadGUILTY! Confiscation! Death Penalty!Dec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman it's funny :3
Show threadTatiMitStiftDec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman
Excuse me, but no!
Show threadDoryTheFish Dec 28, 2023
@prettyhuman
My tits won't be calm unless I retoot ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ
Show threadLarge Heydon ColliderDec 30, 2023
@prettyhuman I mean, this captures the zeitgeist pretty perfectly ๐Ÿ‘
Show threadAnyarchiste ๐Ÿ˜ธ ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธSep 1, 2024
@prettyhuman My tits are fine like this thank you ! XD
Show threadNosirrahSec ๐Ÿดโ€โ˜ ๏ธ guillotine enthusiastSep 2, 2024
@prettyhuman my tits are wild and will not be tamed.
Show threadCHBSep 5, 2024
@prettyhuman We will never surrender out tits when we are blasted with something that amazing!!
Show threadLudovic Archivist LagouardetteOct 5, 2024
@prettyhuman nyo
Show threadWebber-e-bopMar 1
@prettyhuman Sry but my tits are extatic
Show threadGinkelKarin ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐ŸŸฅMar 2
@prettyhuman unboost to boost again๐Ÿ˜…
Show threadEl DuvelleDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman aaaah love it!
Show threadSemi Sentient AI Cooling WaterDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman Hyvva kiitos
Show threadPablo MartiniDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman brilliant!
Show threadWGAvanDijkDec 26, 2023

@prettyhuman
Wait. The not-so-rich people did not cover the doomsday bunkers with rocks, cement, sand, concrete, reinforced steel barricades, roadblocks, poisons, barbed wires, land mines, leaking radioactive nuclear powerplant waste barrels? Not even motion detectors and automated machine guns and rocket launchers?

I think the planning should have included my input. Muhaha.

Show threadMartin Vermeer (not Jesus)Dec 26, 2023
@WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman Mars would also be safe, provided the landing craft are one way only.
Show threadrobrykDec 26, 2023
@martinvermeer @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman if we posit a world where they can't do the ~same things they're doing now remotely, that seems like a world where enough coordination can be also had to agree to ignore them.
Show threadTom RitchfordDec 27, 2023

@martinvermeer @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman

Forget about Mars, what about "Mars"?

I'm referring to this story: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/51233/51233-h/51233-h.htm where they send people to "Venus".

The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Marching Morons, by C. M. Kornbluth.

Show threadMartin Vermeer (not Jesus)Dec 27, 2023
@TomSwirly @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman I daresay it would be a better match for their business ethics.
Show threadFirestarter_OLDec 27, 2023
@martinvermeer
A part way only. Should be enough.
@WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman
Show threadInfrogmationDec 27, 2023
@WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman
I'm guessing the premise is that for some reason one of the backup exits was missed or insufficiently sealed from the outside.
Show threadSteve HerseyDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman
Someone else remarks, "Whoa. Who forgot to pour the concrete in those bunker accesses?"
Show threadevil Ariadne is on Kitsu now!Dec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman Whoโ€™s gonna do it
Show threadArthurDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman ...can we do this plan
Show threadClaudeDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman this is pure genius.
Show threadPNW DebDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman Love it!
Show thread๐Ÿชด eden ๐ŸชดDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman I wonder if someone could actually do this to them, like if they could actually convince them to go into their bunkers and stay there even though nothing is actually going to happen.
Show threadGemma ๐Ÿ‘ฝDec 26, 2023

@RyukoRazz yeah... Uhh... that was kinda the plot of this.  

I'm glad you at least sorta got it? 

Show thread๐Ÿชด eden ๐ŸชดMar 7
@prettyhuman I may be dumb
Show threadLAF and LOVEDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman Fabulous! #LockThemUpNOW
Show threadZZ BottomDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman ๐Ÿ˜‚
Show threadRobo-TarquinDec 26, 2023
@cibyr Abolishing the State would fix this
Show threadแดš uษแ—กDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman so good
Show threadSchlรผssellochkind ๐Ÿ‘๏ธDec 26, 2023

@prettyhuman 10 years for healing? ๐Ÿ˜‚

No, it takes more time to see the demage we did yesterday. ๐Ÿคซ

Show threadtwilwel antifascistDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman
Show threadCanadian CroneDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman this needs to be a reality not fiction !
Show threadKรฉvin โšDec 30, 2023

@CanadianCrone @prettyhuman this is probably a lot more easier to accomplish than we think.

They all live in little bubbles, tweak a few twitter algorithms here and there, fire some fake news at them, and they'll go and hide.

Benefits of surrounding themselves with yes men, nobody will question their reality

Show threadRebecca RiversDec 26, 2023

@prettyhuman The most unbelievable part of this is that the world could heal in 10 years.

At best it would take centuries, at worst, it will never be inhabitable again by human life.

Show threadJohn ArnoldDec 26, 2023
@tri_becca90 @prettyhuman well, my thoughts were even more cynical: the second 1000 richest people take over the assets of the first 1000 people and the earth's trajectory towards doom scarcely falters. ๐Ÿค”
Show threadPeter VL โ›”Dec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘
Show threadGabrielle Klein-MejiaDec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman Go read N K Jemison's Emergency Skin! It's only on Amazon, unfortunately, but it's worth it.
Show threadChookMother ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿฆ˜Dec 26, 2023
@prettyhuman very good! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป
Show threadTodd KnarrDec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman The Digwell Carol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKT1r-8viHk
Leslie Fish - Digwell Carol [HQ]

Firestorm track 19. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.Download the album here: https://archive.org/details/filk_fire...

YouTube
Show threadLe GaumeDec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman wonderful !
Show thread(moved)Galbinus Caeli ๐ŸŒฏDec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman "loved ones"?
Show threadMPDec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman Have you ever read NK Jemisin's "Emergency Skin"? You might like it! :)
Show threadLappenjammerDec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman The one conspiration I would love to take part in.
Show threadTristan Nitotโœ“Dec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman @julianfairfax pure genius, thanks! Iโ€™ll be working on a French translation if you donโ€™t mind!
Show threadLordDec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman i need this as a movie !
Show threadBethany BlackDec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman this is the plot to This Other Eden by Ben Elton
Show threadStoneface VimesDec 27, 2023
@prettyhuman of course, if we did it right we'd concrete the doors shut as soon as they locked themselves in. 10 metres of decent grade with a little reinforcement should do it.