dodecahedron
Olympic sports categorized:
YEET THING: handball, volleyball, football (soccer), discus, shotput, hammer throw, basketball, water polo, curling
NO YEETING: swimming, running, speed skating, boxing, wrestling, taekwondo, breakdancing, rowing
YEET SELF: ski jump, gymnastics, diving, figure skating, high jump, long jump, triple jump, hurdles, skateboarding, skiing (freestyle), snowboarding, trampoline
YEET FRIEND: artistic swimming, couples figure skating
YEET ENEMY: judo
YEETING NOT MANDATORY, BUT STRONGLY ENCOURAGED: rugby, rhythmic gymnastics, (American) flag football
AVOID YEETING AT ALL COSTS: sport climbing, weightlifting, surfing, ski mountaineering, cycling, canoeing, equestrian, sailing, bobsled, skeleton, luge, skiing (except freestyle), fencing, relay race
USE STICK TO YEET THING: hockey, baseball/softball, tennis, cricket, lacrosse, squash, table tennis, badminton, golf, shooting
USE THING TO YEET STICK: archery
YEET STICK: javelin
STICK YEETS YOU: pole vault
Aug 14, 2024 at 6:37amWeb
Show threaddodecahedronAug 25, 2024
If you think I got some things wrong, you're probably right (especially wrestling and equestrian). Various combinations of genuine ignorance and "it was funnier that way"
Show threadHillaryGayleAug 22, 2024
@dodecahedron oh my god I’m just now seeing this and I’m laughing so hard. My favorites are “avoid yeeting at all costs” and “stick yeets you”
Show threadsensible gremlin tuxAug 24, 2024
@hillarygayle “stick yeets you” made me dissolve into laughter.
Show threadHillaryGayleAug 24, 2024
@tux_kate when I tell you I SNORTED at that. Especially coming right after “you yeet stick”
Show threadPeter DrakeAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron The olympics need to add Samoan fireknife dancing, where you yeet a stick that is ON FIRE.
Show threaddodecahedronAug 24, 2024
@peterdrake 😮
Show threadKris Freedain 🙏 🏋🏻 🍕Aug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron hahaha this is a masterpiece
Show threadSablebadgerAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron this is amazing.
Show threadLaraKAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron this is great! I would argue that skateboarding is yeeting one self and a thing though.
Show threadFrosch BAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron how is wrestling not YEET ENEMY?
Show threadDave M7TLB 🐞 🇺🇦🌻Aug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron
I can't stop giggling at this!
Show threadAlice 🐝Aug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron thank you for this itemised list
Show threadMegatronicThronBanksAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron wtf is skeleton
Show threadSiderea, Sibylla BostoniensisAug 24, 2024
@megatronicthronbanks Pronated luge.
@dodecahedron
Show threadBernard SheppardAug 25, 2024
@siderea @megatronicthronbanks @dodecahedron I thought that classification by yeeting was the highlight of my internet today until I saw pronated used in a definition and now I want to know what specific high jump styles are pronated vs supinated
Show threadArthur van der HargAug 25, 2024
@siderea @megatronicthronbanks @dodecahedron Eww … that sounds really dirty 😄
Show threadLouis MarelleAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron love this. IMO skateboarding is in its own yeet thing + yeet self caregory and that's the beauty of this sport. A kickflip over steps at speed is an incredible level of controlled yeeting.
Show threadErgative AbsolutiveAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron I'm sorry, wait, hang on: equestrian *definitely* involves yeeting. I'd say equestrian goes under FRIEND YEETS YOU.
Show threaddodecahedronAug 24, 2024
@ergative Dammit, you’re right! Maybe YEET YOU AND FRIEND TOGETHER.
Show threadErgative AbsolutiveAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron or perhaps MUTUAL SELF-YEET
Show threadPiers CawleyAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron Doesn't the Madison involve pairs of track cyclists yeeting each other though?
Show threadOblomovAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron this thing is a masterpiece and should be preserved for posterity.
Show threaddanielHLAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron track cycling has a race type called Madison where you yeet friend and get yeeted by friend.
Show threaddodecahedronAug 24, 2024
@danielHL Thank you! Today I learned about the Madison.
Show threadvampirdaddyAug 24, 2024

@dodecahedron
From an Aikido dictionary in the 90ies

UKEMI : the art of melting with the ground (breakfalling techniques)

WAZA : the art of melting *others* into the ground (throwing techniques)

Show threadChrister BAug 24, 2024

@dodecahedron The Downhill alpine skiing includes a fair bit of gravity yeeting you. Also Biathlon should be in the USE STICK TO YEET THING.

Great list. :)

Show threaddodecahedronAug 24, 2024
@khrister That's true. I didn't include any of the athlons because the multiple sports would make it too confusing, but skiing and shooting are there separately.
Show threadAlbert AndersenAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron I submit that Curling’s relationship between thing, stick, and yeeting is much more complicated. Stick plays an integral albeit indirect role in the yeet.
Show threadVirginicusAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron True. Rule t.21 of the fencing rule book specifically forbids yeeting.
Show thread`Da ElfAug 24, 2024
@dodecahedron @drwho
This is genius. 🤣
Show threadbrewpubusAug 24, 2024

@dodecahedron

But Wrestlers do yeet tho?

Show thread[empty]Aug 25, 2024
@dodecahedron This is brilliant
Show threadReinder Dijkhuis Does ArtAug 25, 2024
@dodecahedron Clearly what the Olympics needs is more yoinking events.
Show threadsepAug 25, 2024
@dodecahedron why isn't freestyle STICK(S) YEET YOU?
Show threadDrexerAug 25, 2024
@dodecahedron i'm sorry, but sport climbing is definetly part of YEET SELF. Most climbs with a dybamic element demand a large parte of self-yeeting to get up or across to the next boulder.
Show threadJoseph LordAug 25, 2024
@dodecahedron Most swimming events start with a YEET SELF. BMX and Mountain Biking also typically involve some some level of YEET SELF.
Show threadKate Nyhan is changing serversAug 25, 2024
@dodecahedron
#medlibs scroll up for a funny taxonomy. Or maybe an ontology? Anyway, it's funny
Show threadJ Simon van der WaltAug 25, 2024
@dodecahedron Hadda look it up :)
Show threadClaudia Caesaris 🏳️‍⚧️🥚Aug 25, 2024
@dodecahedron "skeleton"?!
Show threaddodecahedronAug 25, 2024
@claudiacaesaris it’s like luge but head first! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skeleton_(sport)
Skeleton (sport) - Wikipedia

Show threadClaudia Caesaris 🏳️‍⚧️🥚Aug 25, 2024
@dodecahedron is it called that because of the number of competitors who join the skeleton war
Show threaddodecahedronAug 25, 2024
@claudiacaesaris yeah that must be it 😊
Show threadNicole J. LeBoeuf (she/her)Aug 25, 2024

@dodecahedron While it's not an Olympic sport (yet), I'm trying to figure the best place in this taxonomy for roller derby.

YEET ENEMY, yes, but also YEET FRIEND AT ENEMY. EVERYBODY GETS YEETED.

What about MUTUALLY ASSURED YEETING? Is that a thing? I think it's a thing.

Show threaddodecahedronAug 25, 2024
@NicoleJLeBoeuf I like it
Show threadMark GritterAug 26, 2024
@dodecahedron race walking goes in the avoid yeeting category, further evidence your theory is correct
Show threadOuti 🦊🌱🌍🌈Aug 26, 2024
@dodecahedron This is brilliant *chef's kiss*
Show threadWilfried KlaebeAug 28, 2024
@dodecahedron And now do YOINK 😆
Show threaddodecahedronAug 28, 2024
@wonka All the more tragic that tug of war is not in the Olympics anymore.
Show threadBytebro 🇬🇧 🇺🇦 🇬🇱Aug 28, 2024
@dodecahedron It's all so much clearer now, thank you!
Show threadSunandaAug 28, 2024
@dodecahedron but yeet stick is a subset of yeet thing!
Show threaddodecahedronAug 28, 2024
@Theorem_Poem true! It should be “NON-STICK THING” everywhere it says “THING” but it wouldn’t be as funny that way
Show threadSunandaAug 28, 2024
@dodecahedron this is SO funny 🤣
Show threadStewart RussellAug 28, 2024
@dodecahedron every last winter olympic sport is "wheee!"
Show threadHillaryGayleAug 29, 2024
@dodecahedron Okay this has come full circle because a friend of mine saw a screencap of this on a Discord server and sent it to our group text because she thought it was so hilarious.