Just saw a news article from texas that says if you see fruit at a gas station, you need to leave immediately.

They say this is because drug dealers are putting fruit at gas stations to identify their customers. If you pick up a piece of fruit sitting on a gas pump, it means you want drugs.

The article warns that innocent bystanders may accidentally pick up the fruit and be falsely identified as a drugs customer.

So stupid.

I did a little digging and found the original article that the rest of these articles are copying, and in the original, the author cites an instagram video that explains how the fruit-drug thing works.

Except the video is by a comedian (from bakersfield). His fans seem to get that it's a joke, but people who didn't know him are taking it seriously.

@MLE_online So essentially a comedian was dunking on a drug-dealer from his hometown Texas Gas station that used fruit to signal to passerby’s consumers?
@EVDHmn the original video didn't even mention texas. every article that's picking it up is adapting it to their own home state
@MLE_online woah predatory behavior?
@EVDHmn what
@MLE_online well predatory behavior in marketing if it’s grabbing everyone’s home state who reads it
@MLE_online
I have a trunk full of story ideas that are this kind of thing - 'person makes joke, people take is seriously' & variations - & a couple yrs ago I just stopped finding any of that stuff funny. I just don't feel like I could write them anymore.

@MLE_online

If you're taking fruit off a gas pump to eat you're already too far gone for drugs to have any effect. Gas pumps are nasty!

@MLE_online

Oh I love stories like these! Especially how similar they are.

The one here in South Africa (and I'm sure we inherited it from somewhere else) is that you should never take a free keyring when they're giving them away at a petrol station (what we call gas stations)

The gangsters will see you take the keyring, and follow you home and make a note of where you live. Then later they'll come back and rob your house!!!

It's never explained why the gangsters need to follow anyone from a petrol station in order to rob them. Couldn't they just rob random houses ? Or maybe they want the keyring back?

It's got to be some kind of link to older stories, of inviting evil things over your threshold or something like that.

@MLE_online
Undercover law enforcement should make sure every gas pump in the state is always stocked with fruit.
@MLE_online
Have these people literally never been offered drugs by a dealer before? Someone politely offers to sell you something you aren't interested in buying, you politely decline, you both go about your day. It's the same exchange for corn on the cob, newspapers, meth, lemonade, extended warranties...
@dragonfrog Even if any of this was true, it would result in the drug dealer being like, "hey, man. whatcha looking for?" and the innocent bystander would be like, "what? looking for?" and the drug dealer would be like, "Never mind. Forget it." and walk away

@MLE_online I used to make a game of getting to / from the Greyhound station without being offered drugs. Got off at different subway stations, went around the block to avoid the smokers outside the bar, tried to dress more 'square'...

I still got offered drugs about 2 in 3 walks to the bus station.

@MLE_online This is foolish. Like that Jenkum thing from the aughts. Cops will take the stupidest things and turn them into a whole deal.
@MLE_online What’s the big deal about being mistaken for a drug buyer? Given how I look, I was constantly mistaken as someone potentially interested in buying drugs when I was younger. You say “no thanks, bro,” and they walk away. It’s sales, not a thrill-kill cult. 🤷‍♀️
@dave0 If you are a resident of the suburbs, you are always at risk of being kidnapped by drug dealers and being forcibly injected with addictive drugs against your will
@MLE_online Yikes! These "suburbs" sound extremely dangerous! Thank God I live in a city, far away from "those people."
@MLE_online what if I want fruit *and* drugs?
@morgan you have to talk to your drug dealer about setting up a system like this
@MLE_online *rushes to open weed and feed*

@MLE_online hahahahhahahahahhahahaha

It’s like perfect catnip for local Nextdoor where they think well-to-do teenagers buy drugs from homeless camps. In a state with legalized weed.

@MLE_online My Yelp review of this drug dealer: “I picked up the fruit and waited over an hour! Never received any drugs. Terrible customer service. Will never use this gas station fruit checkout system again. Zero stars.”
@MLE_online is this sort of like all the mythical drugs I was supposed to be offered for free in High School? I am STILL waiting for that.