LividMay 6, 2024
Kadsenchaos

I have a proposal:
Whenever some company insists on calling a piece of equipment or software "smart", let's call it "needy" instead.

- needs wifi
- needs bluetooth
- needs update
- needs cookies
- needs access
- needs account
- needs login

I want dumb stuff that works.

May 5, 2024 at 5:29pmWeb
Show threadClaudiusMay 5, 2024
@Kadsenchaos
@Fischblog i want smart stuff that works on *my* terms. But I can't possibly build all of it myself :-(
Show threadLord Caramac the Clueless, KSCMay 5, 2024
@claudius @Kadsenchaos @Fischblog What we need are good open standards and laws that force companies to implement those standards correctly, but that would be [gasp] Socialism, wouldn't it?
Show threadDa NobsMay 5, 2024
I think you like this proposal 🙂
@TechConnectify
Show thread11110110101May 5, 2024
@Kadsenchaos needs servers (someone else's computers)
Show threadJ.H.NoyesMay 5, 2024

@Kadsenchaos

Great point. This smart-stuff has more dependencies than a polydrug addict.

@rhtunstall

Show threadJørgen May 5, 2024
@Kadsenchaos The alternative should be a strong, independent gadget that don’t need no corporation.
Show threadWindfischMay 5, 2024
@Kadsenchaos me smart! me want cookies! gib cookies plz!
Show threadwMay 5, 2024
I'd even settle for dumb stuff that works with a little bit of babysitting
Show threadfeldMay 6, 2024
@Kadsenchaos > I want dumb stuff that works

that's the same requirement they have for the military and the police
Show threadnSonicMay 6, 2024

@Kadsenchaos almost always they use „smart“ but mean „remote controllable“ or „with custom presets“

Nearly nothing if that is „Smart“…
- turns on lights in the morning or if you move - but never heard of holidays
- wakes you up with music but has no concept of calendar or appointments to choose the right time smart
- makes coffee with tap in an app with all parameters configurable - but never heard about „Cup“ nor will it put one in for you
- … remote control - yes. Smart? No!

Show threadBerndMay 6, 2024
@Kadsenchaos This so much. I've been looking for replacements for my 10-year old qumox/sjcam action cams. Decent-quality 1080p, dashcam-mode (continuious recording into overlapping files as long as power is connected). No WiFi, no Bluetooth, no GPS. Just records video. What I can get now is either extremely poor quality, or extremely needy, but still lacks essential features, or is very expensive, and I still pay for features I don't need or want.
Show threadsapphic girlthing doll {cb9d119}May 6, 2024
@Kadsenchaos i may be person, but aaa, that means I am needy too :D
(yes am being silly, and to be on topic: i agree, is abit silly, how much some hardware requires, and that is presented as a good thing, despite .. being such a pain.. )
Show threadCheetah FluffMay 6, 2024
@Kadsenchaos our TV was acting really weird yesterday and we spent like an hour and a half fiddling with it to figure out it had somehow gotten the wifi password and started trying to update after years of not being connected. We think the PS5 passed the wifi info to it since they're both Sony devices. One factory reset (and another permission we didn't know about before denied) later and it works again. But the trouble could've been avoided entirely if the tv didn't have bloody android running on it in the first place. >:/
Show threadJean Sans PeurMay 6, 2024
@Kadsenchaos Starting with smartphones.
Show threadKilroy_Was_HereMay 6, 2024

@Kadsenchaos

I want my electrical devices to be like a VW Bug. As simple as possible with replacement parts readily available.

Show threadKotesMay 6, 2024
@Kadsenchaos Yeah, that's it.
Show threadiChasMay 6, 2024

@Kadsenchaos

… needs subscription

Show threadLorraine LeeMay 6, 2024
@Kadsenchaos Or the most parasitic of all the needs, needs an app.
Show threadStoneface VimesMay 6, 2024
@Kadsenchaos don't forget 'needs access to all your data
Show threadYlönënMay 6, 2024
@Kadsenchaos needs a "smart phone", because selling hardware and firmware/software doesn't generate enough revenue.
Show threadStone Bear (has moved)May 6, 2024
@Kadsenchaos YES PLEASE.
Show thread@ NovaNaturalist HAS ALSO MOVEDMay 6, 2024

@Kadsenchaos

đź’Ż

I really don't need my barbecue / washing machine / heating thermostat / car to connect to the internet.

I likewise don't need my computer to be able to refrigerate food etc.

Show threadMoon✨ (they/them)May 6, 2024
@NovaNaturalist @Kadsenchaos My washing machine and dish washer have a timer. It's actually amazing lol. It really doesn't need internet. I can even stop either and add stuff, peak technology lmao.

My car has Bluetooth for audio. I'm literally happy.
Show thread@ NovaNaturalist HAS ALSO MOVEDMay 7, 2024

@break1146 @Kadsenchaos

for myself, I would still be happy with car windows that are wind open and shut manually. Less to go wrong, and I can operate the window faster than the electronic button can.

Show threadBoneHouseWasps🔶🇬🇧🇪🇺May 8, 2024

@Kadsenchaos I would like a 'smart' speaker that I can use as an intercom and play tunes from Deezer with but that doesn't sell my data to third parties.

Back in the day, I had a Nokia that did voice dialling *perfectly well* without an always on internet connection. This technology isn't beyond us.

Show threadHouse Panther May 8, 2024
@Kadsenchaos Yeah, I prefer dumb TVs. I'd like the "smart" part to be optional, like through the purchase of a Roku or Firestick.
Show threadEstarriol, Terrorist DragonMay 8, 2024
@Kadsenchaos waves, you want me then!
Show threadJesper Larsson has moved!May 8, 2024
@Kadsenchaos When a something becomes smart, it becomes mortal. Ignorant creature keep living in the present, while smart creatures approach their death.
Show threadEli the BeardedMay 8, 2024
@Kadsenchaos So when I got my Android device I switched from a feature phone to a needy phone? That sort-of works.
Show threadLar Van Der JagtMay 11, 2024
@Kadsenchaos I’ve been replacing “smart” with “spy” in my mind since the beginning of the “smartphone” era.