Ron Gilbert (GrumpyGamer)A $199 jump rope with a $12 monthly subscription. The world is doomed. I'm calling it.
https://www.theverge.com/24134172/crossrope-amp-jump-rope-set-review
Michael@grumpygamer This is the same flavour of capitalist techbro shit that spawned the Peloton.
LR@grumpygamer the grift that keeps on grieving
Krystian Majewski@grumpygamer Jesus Christ
Paul Nicholas 
@krystman @grumpygamer ...presents...
✝️ CROSS-rope™ 🪢
😏😇
@Liquidream Man, this took me a while 😂
Gabriel Pettier@grumpygamer
i guess the same justification as usual in these cases apply, the price is a feature, it's a commitment you make to do the workout, and you get some services out of it.
Sadly we know how well this idea works from gym subscriptions 😅
Jay@tshirtman @grumpygamer Starting a new app called “Lift or Loan”: users give me $100/month to hold onto and if they check in at a gym for X amount of hours per week, they can earn their money back.
@WhiteCatTamer
how much does that price an hour of *not* going to the gym ? because you'll propably keep that money 😅
@grumpygamer
how much does that price an hour of *not* going to the gym ? because you'll propably keep that money 😅
@grumpygamer
@tshirtman @grumpygamer It’ll be a threshold the user sets. So if someone wants to go 2 times a week for an hour, then failing that per week is $25.
@WhiteCatTamer
it seems worth the experiment, but i fear you keeping the money might not be enough motivation, it'd have to be invested in fossile fuel or the private prison industry so people will really not want that to happen.
@grumpygamer
it seems worth the experiment, but i fear you keeping the money might not be enough motivation, it'd have to be invested in fossile fuel or the private prison industry so people will really not want that to happen.
@grumpygamer
@tshirtman @grumpygamer I get to publish your “Before” pictures to my “Wall of Shame” every month you pay the full $100?
MrMozz
Woke Leftist Trash@grumpygamer There's even a company selling subscriptions for their cereal. Always subscriptions.
Beldarak@grumpygamer I thought the article would be a cynical piece mocking the thing but no :D
That's impressive. I usually try not to be too judgmental but anyone buying this is an idiot 😐
Colin B.🇨🇦@grumpygamer Part of the problem is that 'review' websites are determined to give a fair shake to anything, and the more clickbaity the headline, the better. This denies the fact that $200 on a skipping rope plus a monthly subscription is objectively FUCKING STUPID!
DrYak@grumpygamer kind of surprised that they didn't also manage to put "web 3.0 blockchain" and "AI" somewhere on the list of features to justify price + subscription.
Also be ready when in a couple of months they shut off their cloud server and the Bluetooth connected handles suddenly stops working (not as in "performance data cannot be downloaded"; but as in "the whole thing is so badly designed that it manages to jam if taken off-line").
...
@dryak
...
Also, a database pwn will somehow reveal an exact history of your sex life (or reveal the VIN of your car - same end result according to Mozilla).
And a remote exploit can set your house on fire and/or cause your cat to leave you.
The Doctor
Jargoggles@grumpygamer
This looks like a good opportunity to market my $1000 Bluetooth-enabled UltraFit Smarty Pants©®™.
With the $50 / mo subscription, you can track how many legs you put on at a time, get real-time crotch humidity measurements, and control the fly with the app or voice commands.*
For $100 / mo, you can select the "maybe later" option to opt-out** of sharing biometrics and camera data with our advertising partners.
*these are the only two ways to zip the fly up and down
**automatically opts back in after five minutes
TheKillShot@grumpygamer this one seems like a sure fire fail.
Ric@grumpygamer rope: probably one of the oldest tools in the world. Now expensive and simultaneously subscription based. 😐
Sternwarte Vach (Andy)@grumpygamer agree. totally. *sigh* 😌
LodestarNot everything needs to have tech inside. Not everything needs to be "smart", "connected", "electronic". That's a security nightmare. Not to mention, often less practical and more fragile. The more you learn about tech, the more wary and sceptical you become. The less addicted you become to your electronic devices, the more time you will have to actually enjoy life, for work, and perhaps even more time for jump roping.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zE9qenTx2oE
Pretty sure Tyson's rope wasn't connected to the internet
[2020] Mike Tyson "Jumping Rope" Best Motivation!
Norman Wilson@grumpygamer How much extra for Full Self Jumping?
Manuel Kehl@grumpygamer And once you’re done with your workout, enjoy a freshly squeezed Juicero 🙃
Craig Grannell@grumpygamer serious Betteridge’s Law energy with that headline.
Alex@grumpygamer
"After testing the set for a month, I can confirm few jump ropes are as well-made as Crossrope’s, and its workouts and community offer a lot of value for jumping enthusiasts. Yet, at $199, plus a $12 monthly subscription, it’s only for those committed to jumping consistently — not casual users. "
How can one write that paragraph and NOT reconsider a lot of life choices?