@grumpygamer
This looks like a good opportunity to market my $1000 Bluetooth-enabled UltraFit Smarty Pants©®™.

With the $50 / mo subscription, you can track how many legs you put on at a time, get real-time crotch humidity measurements, and control the fly with the app or voice commands.*

For $100 / mo, you can select the "maybe later" option to opt-out** of sharing biometrics and camera data with our advertising partners.

*these are the only two ways to zip the fly up and down

**automatically opts back in after five minutes