🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄)

I have to share this. So my partner is on the DEI board for a nonprofit org, which consists of my partner, a gay black woman, a Latina woman, and a straight white guy.

I was working from the other room and overhead some of their meeting.

The guy, (Fred? Doug? Something like that. Let's say Fred), had coopted the meeting for the last hour. He was going on about how he didn't think the org needed a DEI committee...it went something like:

"Race is an outdated social construct."

"I don't see color or gender."

"If everyone was just chill like me, there wouldn't be an issue."

And so on.

I heard my partner trying to gently reign in his monopoly on the discussion:

"Maybe we should hear from one of the other members about their lived experiences?"

He kept going; transitioning into the topic of "handout programs":

"I mean, the opportunities are there. Maybe the story was different in the past, but now they just have to work for it like anyone else."

Note: my partner was (nearly still)born into poverty, abuse, a broken child welfare system, and has multiple chronic conditions.

I could hear the frustration in my partner's voice. No one else spoke up.

My partner got up and left the call for a bit. Fred didn't seem to notice, as I could hear him still talking away in the background.

Eventually the meeting ended.

The other two women said they thought they got a lot out of the meeting, and that Fred brought up some good points (though I must of missed those ones from the other room).

My partner came into my office and recapped the meeting in one looong sentence (they were rather agitated).

So what's the moral of this story?

If you don't know why diversity, equity, and inclusion are necessary, then you're probably the reason.

If you refer to inclusion and social systems as "handout programs" then you have probably lived a priveledged fucking life.

If you're sitting on a DEI board full of LGBTQIA+/BIPOC people and none of those letters apply to you, then you'd better pay close attention to the collective lived experiences and perspectives of those other members.

If all the above apply to you, then you're probably Fred (and feeling pretty called out).

Don't be Fred.

#DEI #LGBTQIA #BIPOC #Rant #Privelege #DiversityEquityInclusion

Mar 4, 2024 at 12:41amWeb
Show threadlibramoonMar 4, 2024

@alice

I hope I would have congratulated Fred on his progressive attitude, and reminded him that most people are not as advanced, so clearly he is in favor of programs to help these less advanced make their leap to greater understanding of the advantages of chillness

Show threadJayMar 4, 2024
@alice “But you’re not chill, Fred, and all of us know that because you’ve been whining for a fucking hour.”
Show threadEvan ProdromouMar 4, 2024
@alice THANK YOU to your partner for doing this difficult and thankless work. I am sorry they have such a huge burden to shoulder and grateful that they take it on. My only hope is that their work and their colleagues' work will make the next generation of DEI boards more productive and effective. They deserve our gratitude for pulling on the hipwaders and trudging through this bullshit.
Show threadNegative12DollarBillMar 4, 2024

@alice
Leaving aside the incredible rudeness and short-sightedness of what he said—Fred doesn't believe in what his *company* which he *works for* believes in. That company thinks it needs DEI. Fred needs to not actively sabotage the company he works for.

Imagine if they had a committee to improve safety — install new sprinklers and extra fire extinguishers for instance, and Fred joined that committee just to say no, why bother, I'm sure everything's fine?

Fred needs to be talked to be someone very senior, very soon.

Show threadJonathan KamensMar 4, 2024
@alice I dunno, I don't claim to be an expert here, but it seems to me maybe Fred was a bad choice for the DEI board? Just sayin'...
*sigh*
Show threadfind you on   fediverseMar 4, 2024

@alice The "just get a job" people are a bit of a danger to society generally. About 10% of the population will always be incapabable of "productive work", often because they are too busy meeting some other unmet need.

Part of the reason i support a #ubi. It doesn't need to be massive, it just needs to acknowledge that a person needs food and shelter to do what they feel tthey need to do.

Trials of UBIs show people work more with a UBI which is sort of amazing too.

#justgetajob #getajob

Show threadNicole ParsonsMar 4, 2024

@alice

Republicans megadonors subscribe to an oversimplified worldview of "makers & takers"

https://terikanefield.com/why-some-prefer-oligarchy/

The "makers" don't believe that law, justice, government, or morals should constrain their activities.

They believe anyone that isn't in their "makers" club is a "taker" deserving of their destiny as a slave or subject, not as a citizen.

https://terikanefield.com/making-sense-of-it-all-a-journey-through-books-part-1/

https://terikanefield.com/a-bunch-of-good-books/

Why Some Prefer Oligarchy and (🎶 What's Russia got to do, got to do with it? 🎶) - Teri Kanefield

In June of 2020, Alexander Smirnov, an FBI informant, dropped a “bombshell.” His revelation: The owner of Burisma, a Ukrainian energy company, paid $5 million each to Joe Biden and Hunter Biden as a bribe in exchange for Biden, then Vice President, stopping an investigation into Burisma. Smirnov’s allegation became the basis for the Republican’s […]

Teri Kanefield
Show threadmmalcMar 4, 2024

@alice

Just in case you haven't seen this.

Fred certainly should.

https://www.boredpanda.com/privilege-explanation-comic-strip-on-a-plate-toby-morris/

This Simple Comic Perfectly Explains Privilege, And Everyone Must Read It

Auckland-based illustrator Toby Morris perfectly summarizes what it means to be privileged with this thought-provoking comic strip. When we say privileged, we're not talking about those people who were born into royalty, or those with millionaire parents. We simply mean those folks who have perhaps had a helping hand or two in life while others weren't afforded such assistance.

Bored Panda
Show threadAnders von Hadern 🦪Mar 4, 2024

@alice There is another point which we can see here clearly: the time of a meeting one can consume is a symptom of their privileges. So meetings should have a clear timetable for the topics which is decided upon in consensus. Because for those with less privileges more time for their topics is priority 1.
A strict moderation is needed to keep the timetable and give every single one their agreed upon speaking time.

That at least is one possible way to deal with this. I was mindblown when I learned that meetings without strict time moderation end up in the ones with more privileges just taking their time and/or sitting it out - just because they can and it is their way of pushing their agenda through (often even not knowingly which makes it even harder to change something).

Show thread–modo ⚛️ 🧬 🇪🇺 🇨🇦 🇺🇦Mar 4, 2024
@alice "if everyone was chill like me"... Right there he admits the problem and proceeds to demonstrate it himself.
Show threadDennis Voss StensgaardMar 5, 2024

@alice

Years ago, I probably was a Fred. I really try not to be now.

I'm a straight, cis, white, middle-class, middle-aged married man with kids. And I have become very aware of my privileges and my representation. I don't need any more.

Sure, I can feel sorry for myself. Sure, things don't always go my way. But society is rooting for me. People who aren't like me have a lot of obstacles that I don't have.

It's not rocket science, Fred. It's listening to people.