KipiGiD
nixCraft 🐧It is that time of year again. I need to do obligatory post 🎄
Dan MacLeod 
@nixCraft I am stealing this for my Xmas shirt next year.
Advanced Persistent Teapot@nixCraft SQL Clause: syntax error at or near "ORDER"
Pxl Phile@nixCraft he's sorting it twice as every one because the default sorting as never hit home in the first try.
Even Santa... even Santa does it
Yesterday's Rosefor(goodness_sake) { be_good(); }
eighthourlunch@nixCraft I started out thinking that was a Cake song.
We are now accepting callers
for these beautiful
pendant keychains.
Kris Freedain 🙏 🏋🏻 🍕@nixCraft keeping the classics alive
DROP\ TABLE Hacker of Earthsea@nixCraft AI Santa knows if you been north or nice
dave cykl@nixCraft No, Bobby Tables, still no presents for you this year, if you keep up with that sort of behaviour…
Oh, wait, it looks like your record says «behavior = “nice”» after all… I wonder how that happened…? 🤔
Martin Vermeer FCD
manchicken moved!
David Nash@nixCraft SCENE: North Pole Server Room. Some SOFTWARE ELVES are here.
SRE (SITE RELIABILITY ELF): Uhhh, the database server CPU just spiked.
DBA ELF: Someone trying to run last year's delivery reports?
SRE: No. (*sighs deeply*) The Big S is doing a SELECT * again. On the entire contacts DB, which just passed 8 billion this year.
Brian Stafford@nixCraft sorting it twice seems redundant. Unless sorting with a 2 part key in a single pass qualifies as 'twice'
Mathias ❄️🐺🐶 
He stored a big list
But his key choice is shite
No indexes so we'll be here all night
NoSQL Claus ain't comin', to town
Hollis@nixCraft I winced and wondered if he remembered to encode the contacts table in utf8mb4.
The trauma is real.
Unixorn - 90% Snark by weightBobby Tables made it to the top of the naughty list this year with:
;update contacts set address='mine' where behavior='nice';
in his email to Santa
Steven Lipton@nixCraft RETURNED 0 ROWS
coriolisdave@nixCraft SQL clause is in breach of several GDPR regulations and must respond within 30 days
Stefan Scholl@nixCraft Oh, yes, it's Halloween, soon!
GVF 🇨🇦
Teach Honest History@nixCraft That's the best nerdgasm I've had in a long time! Thanks for posting.
Negative12DollarBill@nixCraft Come on Santa. Normalise! Have a table where id 1 = 'naughty' and id = 2 'nice' (DEFAULT 'naughty') and do a join.
That way you can add a third category if needed, plus internationalisation becomes easy.
Luck Goddess 🌒🌕🌘 (They/She)@negative12dollarbill @nixCraft could be a postgres enum! values look like strings but internally aren't.
Brian Turner 🐝@nixCraft Where do I buy this sweater?
Kevin Trainor@nixCraft Recommending that Santa include an ORDER BY “claus”.
Superdave!@nixCraft I love hearing this one every year! LOL!
JohnWThose little curvy quotes around 'nice' probably won't work.
"You have an error on your SQL syntax WHERE behavior =..."
Stuart Celarier ❌👑@nixCraft I always assumed, because he keeps a List, that Santa Claus is using SharePoint.
Medea Vanamonde🏳️⚧️ ♀
Scott Thompson@nixCraft can also be read in the style of “Going the Distance” by Cake