A.R. Moxon, Verified Duck 🦆Pro tip: if your home is infested by a marching band, don’t harm them. Simply find the drum major and move it to a warm dry place in a different location; the rest will of their own volition move to its location in a matter of hours.
Lyle Solla-Yates@JuliusGoat My friend is a band keeper, she’s helped do this a few times
Laura "Tegan" Gjovaag ⛈ 🐸@JuliusGoat
Be careful, though. The flautists tend to get lost easily and wander off.
Be careful, though. The flautists tend to get lost easily and wander off.
Jim. From Kansas.Note to the reader: The percussionists may require special handing. A healthy supply of beer and the complete works of Neil Peart will keep them manageable.
Jim CampbellAfter you have caused the marching band to yield, the players can then take the field.
Cath-in-a-Hat@JuliusGoat
Will this also work with a Mardi Gras parade in full costume?
Will this also work with a Mardi Gras parade in full costume?
The Lichtenbergian@JuliusGoat You say that, but I still have an infestation of saxophone players from that time in 2007.
Infrogmation@JuliusGoat
If it's a New Orleans marching band, just point the grand marshal in the direction of a corner bar.
If it's a New Orleans marching band, just point the grand marshal in the direction of a corner bar.
Ben Rosengart
myrmepropagandistIf this is a recurring problem it's time to think about the acoustics of your space. Persistent infestations of musicians are often traceable too much (or too little!) reverb. Large open spaces attract the bands, insulated surfaces attract indie rock groups, often looking to found their first album. Kill one member and they will be replaced, and commemorative albums will be released. If you see completion albums? Just give up.
🇨🇦 Steve@futurebird @JuliusGoat You could also consider the economics of the area. While there are musicians who are immune, driving up property values can help deter the band from fully forming.
If nothing else works, consider a major construction project. They hate the noise. You will, too, but it might be preferable to a marching band.
And remember, we're rooting for you. We're all in this together.
Lt. Commander Reggie
Bat Master Fresh@futurebird @JuliusGoat You've really got to clean the place out carefully. One cowbell left in a closet can undo all your work
Kevin Gamin
Bee O'Problem 
@JuliusGoat I'm thinking asking them to play something by Parker Meek would send them running for the hills
Ian Malcolm@JuliusGoat
Driving a marching band out of my home by introducing an 80s hair-metal band seemed like a good idea, but three years later we can barely move due to all the fluorescent spandex, hair products and coke spoons.
Driving a marching band out of my home by introducing an 80s hair-metal band seemed like a good idea, but three years later we can barely move due to all the fluorescent spandex, hair products and coke spoons.
Dan JonesThis sounds like the bee lady on TikTok who's always saving the bees by finding the queen and moving her to a new hive.
"It's another great day of saving the woodwinds."
Wes Montage@JuliusGoat I'd love it if my office became infested with a band like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Tz1Vkbbd5g&pp=ygUobXVjY2EgcGF6emEgdGFrZSBhIG1hcmNoaW5nIGJhbmQgdG8gd29yaw%3D%3D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Tz1Vkbbd5g&pp=ygUobXVjY2EgcGF6emEgdGFrZSBhIG1hcmNoaW5nIGJhbmQgdG8gd29yaw%3D%3D
Mucca Pazza - Bring Your Marching Band to Work Day
Christine Malec@JuliusGoat Thanks for this. I tried the old, "catch between your two hands" technique but it didn't work, and those brass instruments ... Ouch! clearly your idea is better.
HighlandLawyer@JuliusGoat They're not something we get locally, but when I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band...