the mortifying ordeal of being turned on by improv
atad
realistic sibling interactions
bathroom mirror
horf some cronts
italic
a process has occurred
godot

ancient greek philosophy

[edited 8/3/24 to add a continuation of the thread]

basmati blast
air friar
toe-sucking evil
spam text
pestplay
is there beef
a more important question
shmapoo and conditioner
mamma mia

handbinding my immortal

(genuinely one of the best things I have ever seen)

(A/N I included as little of the actual text as possible in the alt because Enoby's writing style is gonna be hell on screenreaders. DUN LIKE DUN LISSN)

mr wallbachev
foreman
hapsburg gas
ghosts of people who died in the hospital
for morale
julius xi/xir
jestergirls
your boyfriend's a stag now
state sanctioned violence barbie
top 5 bloodborne weapons
nutsacktorturer
take us away boys
imagine all the people
crochet
yugoslavia
pork prism
mushroom
tintin
a demigod walking among mortals
uruk-hai scimitar
seahorse mannerisms
dogs dont see colour like we do
james team rocket
depressed catman
sloppy penis optimisation
marcus aurelius
the body of the gluten free christ
jerry is here
plorn
both a pun and also fucking loss
italian manwhore summer
funky dudes
a class on what
a clinically insane yet correct take
it's true it's there I saw it
gorbachev
bike helmet
42069
the spawning point of a new and proper named heresy

@stavvers oh god you activated my biblical scholarship SpIn, on your own head be it. Fun fact here is that some scholars think the “sweating blood” is an insertion into Luke’s text. Luke portrays Jesus as a stoic philosopher and removes all the references to him being anguished. It’s thought this was added back in to make Jesus look more human (when some later Christians were denying this). And now we get evangelicals basically ignoring/denying these references to Jesus being “weak and emotional”

The millennia-long back-and-forth between “Chad Jesus” and “Virgin Jesus” could in itself form the basis for a book on ever-changing western attitudes towards masculinity

</infodump>

@stavvers Everyone knows Christ died on the cross. What my book presupposes is ... maybe he didn't?

@chrispackham

There is not a single hint in the Bible, that Jesus was actually dead after he was taken from the cross. Many things point to the conclusion, that he was still alive.

And there are many stories of other humans, who fall in some form of meditation after enlightenment for around three days, which looks like a coma.

But nobody wants to talk about it, especially the Atheists deny any real world explanations.

@AdeptVeritatis "Jesus did not die for our sins, actually" is a good retcon for a new church
@AdeptVeritatis @chrispackham say you've never actually read the Bible without actually saying...

@stavvers

I'm vaguely aware of a Muslim sect that believes that Jesus survived the crucifixion and lived out his life in another country. (I once skimmed one of their tracts; it had what I'd now call a real undergrad-atheist energy to it.)

So anyway, if you run into someone like that, assuming they are Muslim would certainly go over well and not in any be be hilarious.

@stavvers Sadly, I think the OP’s confusingly-expressed point was that Jesus had to be a Manly Man™ in order to get as far as he did before dying, and if he’d been some sort of emotional Girly Man™ he would have swooned when flogged and expired in a dainty flounce before he managed to drag the cross up the hill.
1/2
@stavvers (Of course, as depicted in the Gospels, Jesus was a touchy, abrasive, doubt-ridden, neurotic mystic, prone to going on long esoteric rants when asked plain questions by his followers. He doesn’t fit either the Girly Man™ or Manly Man™ archetype—but why should he? Those are anachronisms.)
@stavvers browsing this thread in reverse has been a phenomenal journey. the mitosis one made me feel so many things at once that i nearly impaled my phone upon a spike
@thegarbagebird @stavvers I didn't realize it's a thread until I read your reply and now I'm about 3 hours behind my work today 😅
@rebe_gc @stavvers right!? each one is worthy of careful scrutiny, rotation and consideration, or causes loss of time, or both. truly a marvel
@stavvers OMG this is SO true!
@cstross there is a parallel world where this is what happened and I wish we were there

@stavvers Am now terrified, though, imagining the Worse Alternative Republican Potus who might have squatted our-world Trump's shtick.

Because you know there'd be one …

@stavvers no thats the problem hes legit funny like hes got the comedic instincts of a lifetime bully

@stavvers

I hate that this is true. His cattiness and kayfabe would even be - well, if not a good thing, at least an appropriate thing.

Sassy Justice with Fred Sassy (Full Episode) | Deep Fake and Deep Fake: The Movie

YouTube
@stavvers

Imagine drag trump doing the bing bong speech.
I would not have thought I would ever utter these words...

I think he could still be nudged that way if we could get the crowds to applaud at the right places. A few rallys and he would become Pavlov's drag queen.

@stavvers

@stavvers

LOL!

Is it wrong to hope that SNL picks up on this and we have a whole Drag Queen Trump arc or even reframe the Republican primary debates as a Drag show with musical numbers? Might give George Santos ideas though, or an unfair advantage.

@stavvers yet what would her name be? Dolly Strumpet? Donna Hump. Inquiring minds need to know
@stavvers
There's a part of the multiverse where Donna Twump came second in season 8 of Drag Race and complained it was fixed, and Jinkx Monsoon is a much loved two term US President who worked on equality, poverty reduction, and robust action on the climate emergency.
@stavvers That needs to be on the biggest digital billboard in Times Square.

@stavvers

Important to remember that Dickens was a horrible person to his wife, children, the Irish, and lots of other people

@stavvers I love this one because it absolutely taps on my earnest theory of knowledge involving the underrated necessity of analogy and metaphor to overcome lack of shared foundation. 😂
@stavvers Oh wow, that takes me back to the 1990s and some priest in West Cork going loud that the Host couldn't be gluten-free because it was the Whole Body of Christ. His Bishop pointed out gently that the Host wasn't wholemeal, and that was the end of it.
@stavvers just like me fr
@Mair_ @stavvers (by @sssamico on birdsite)
@endali @Mair_ @stavvers why he look like alex yiik??? 😭😭😭😭
@Teh404Gal @Mair_ @stavvers walter white was my first impression
@endali @Mair_ @stavvers "hey jesse, have you heard about the two brothers?"
@endali @Mair_ @stavvers @[email protected] Somehow this is kinda sad...

@sigmasternchen @stavvers @endali I don't think that's true

The gay community has a bad habit of framing aging poorly

I actually think old gay dudes with beards are super cool actually

Ian McKellen has impeccable rizz

@Mair_ @stavvers @endali Hmm, I guess I can see your point. Maybe I'm just projecting. ^^"
@endali @stavvers @sigmasternchen @Mair_ but what if someone wants to stay androgynous as they age…

@enby_of_the_apocalypse @endali @stavvers @sigmasternchen also entirely possible

Youthful does not mean feminine

@endali @stavvers I was looking for this damn image to reply to this lmao

And also yes this will be me in like 10 years

@stavvers I've only ever looked at the covers but this already feels like it has Blacksad vibes!