Another tip from years of mentoring:

There is a kind of person out there. They are maybe on the spectrum. They are probably a geek about some stuff. Their head is in the clouds and they have a great imagination about lofty future goals of adventure and heroics. That imagination is fabulous, but it pulls them a little bit too far from reality, and because of compounding circumstances like family situation and lack of guidance they get lost along the way, unable to escape a cycle.

So they have dreams of being an action hero. A pilot. A celebrity. An astronaut. Things that are attainable but incredibly hard work and luck to achieve but no real compass or motivation to do them. So they get stuck, lost in depression, fog, and self-criticism.

This one is for them.

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I am sorry I can’t be your parent. I certainly can’t fix all the broken stuff in your life. Here’s what I can tell you - I give advice because I’ve made a ton of mistakes and overcome a lot of crap from the world and myself to be moderately successful. I’ve had to work really hard to course correct and so I might be worth listening to for a minute.

I know you won’t believe me, but you are so lucky in some ways because you still have so much potential to be so many different things. The future is huge. I know it doesn’t seem like that right now however, there really are people out there who envy you. There are people locked into jobs, unhappy, marriages mortgages they didn’t want. You still have the potential to do almost anything!

That, however, will take real work - and when you set unattainable goals, without a gradual curve, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and give up. My advice? Shoot for the moon, but if you land among the stars, that’s wonderful too. Seek mentorship and seek different perspectives than the ones that surround you. Think about things in life that would make you really happy (not just what other people tell you to like) and then seek advice on the small steps that might get you there over time.

Appreciate the small victories. Not everything has to be an epic battle. A small step towards your goal is so much farther than other people may ever go.

I guess that there’s someone around you who makes you feel small, and who is holding you back from being your own person. I can’t tell you why they do that. You have to overcome it. They might do it with the best intentions. Or they might do it entirely maliciously. That doesn’t matter- that’s your own internal battle. You can’t change other people. Nor can you make people see the world the way you do. It’s better to pursue constructive efforts that better you than be vindictive.

There are people out there for you . There are people out there with the same hobbies, with the same struggles. With the same physical limitations and with the same gender identity. There are billions of people on earth and I promise they’re out there. It may take time and some challenging social effort to find them. You have it in you. It’s very important to find your family.

If you read to the end of this and you’re still feeling lost, that’s normal. I hope I gave you some things to think about. You’re a valuable human being, and you have so much potential. Whatever happens next, at least remember that there are people like me who are thinking of your well-being.