ManuWho do you reach out to when you’re at your breaking point and why?
HousePantherPlease seek help because I don’t like seeing good people in this place. If you need help, please call 988. You’re worth it.
I guess that’s the American help line? To anyone that struggles with residency in Germany, there’s the Telefonseelsorge. To bring up the courage and reach out is hard, but no one will ever judge you!
Yes, I apologize for the assumption that you are US-based. The 988 help line is the recent addition to our system. Instead of summoning the police which makes everything worse, this gets mental health assistance.
SkellybonesIt is what it is bottle up everything what’s the worst that can happen
WxnzxnI am blessed to have two friendships that I have been able to maintain even through times of depression and paranoia, mostly because they are stubborn and forgiving enough to stay with me and reach out, even when my delusions of having to isolate from everyone because I am too horrible and bad to deserve friendships kick in. It’s a privilege I know isn’t guaranteed in life and I am so damn lucky that the mess I have comes with them.
If you are going through tough times and don’t have anyone at the ready, I know it can be hard, don’t give up. There’s the professional stuff like therapists, emergency hotlines, self-help groups and, yes, sometimes even strangers on the internet can be enough to give you a necessary mirror to at least lessen any delusional self-hatred and hopelesness that can creep up. Reaching out can be hard and seem impossible, but it is possible, and it is worth it - you are worth it.
queermunist she/herHeh “reach out” 😂
Sorry, second language! What would be the correct phrasing?
Oh! Sorry, you used the right phrasing.
I was being self deprecating, because I don’t have anyone to reach out to! 😅
Oh my bad! Damn, that hurts to hear 🥲 hope you‘re doing okay.
SiyahGuraagHey, Queermunist, you can tell me what’s going on? On Lemmy, we’re all friends and look after each other.
Oh! Well, I didn’t understand I was trans until the pandemic (I kept getting ma’amed because of the masks and really liked it, that’s when I knew) and I was 29 by that point. I don’t want to die anymore ? It’s great!
I also have no friends because I was too depressed and dysphoric for a decade after HS to maintain relationships. Also failed out of college so I’m a factory worker (though I don’t hate it) and live in the middle of nowhere. So, yeah, I don’t really have people to reach out to.
Oh. It’s so great that you don’t want to die anymore. Now that you explain it, it seems not as bad as before not having friends.
Maybe I could tell something about me as well. When I finished College(12 Years Education) in my country, I had terrible mood swings, I had a terrible crush on one person for literally 4 years, and Since, I couldn’t be with this person, I was tormented just at the sight of that person.
Now that, I’m in University, I have made good friends, even though, I used to think I have social anxiety, which I’ve 90% Conquered now.
P.S. Sorry about making this about me. Either ignore it, or tell me more about yourself.
Naw we can both share 😊
Though uh, there’s just not much more about myself? Well, there’s a job opening coming up this fall that comes with college benefits and I’m going to try to go for that. I’ll probably go into skilled trades, maybe as an electrician? We’ll see!
Hey, Good luck with that. Try your best.
Wow you’re kinda in my position except I’m not trans and got some of my family left that care about me. Keep fighting the good fight buddy hopefully you’ll find yourself some friends
Gin and Jack are best way to “reach out” a sip of them and all the pain is gone for a moment
My mind gets burnt out from feeling that way and I start doing the bare minimum to put food in my belly. It usually goes uphill from there
Our minds work in mysterious ways, that’s for sure. I‘m thankful that I haven’t hit rock bottom in quite a while. It doesn’t hurt to know whom you can reach out to when you do though.
I have been that low a couple of times, and my current mentality has managed to get me out. It’s astounding how close it is, somewhat like an unrefined version of self-help books which advise you to get up after getting to such a point.
Also the fact that I have no one to rely on might have made this a coping mechanism.
Cheers
You op, can we all reach out to you?
If you’re offering help: Much appreciated, but I’m pretty stable lately. I was just wondering who I would reach out to in a major crisis and who you folks rely on.
He means if he can reach out to you if he needs help
Oh okay! Sure you can, but I doubt I could be of much help I’m afraid. But I would try to!
BorgzillaMy homies: Marcus, Seneca and Epictetus.
mremuglesI am a fan of Schopenhauer and Cioran myself - go so low that the only choice is to go up from there.
Cheers me up quite quickly too, perhaps I’m just morbid by default (Nietzsche doesn’t quite do it for me)
Suicide prevention hotlines. It helps to have a neutral voice to emphasise with me or tell me what help I need to sought out.
I guess it depends on what I’m at my breaking point about. In prior times, it would have been my spouse. Now that I’m considering leaving them, it’s been my handful of close friends from school. I trust their judgement and advice, and they’ve always been a supportive presence despite the many stressors of the past few years. I know if things got really bad, they’d take me in temporarily or try to help however was in their means.
Im not even sure if I have a breaking point anymore, because I could swear if anything it’s behind me already. Im already broke.
If you really feel that way, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. It can only get better. Hope you’ll soon get better!
Too many of my problems are material. Therapist says I’m burnt out and need rest/vacation but my student loans say if you stop paying us down you’ll never afford a house. Even paying down principle during the entire interest rate freeze hasn’t gotten me below the original loan balance. I can’t afford to fix it.
I’ve had conversations with one of my friends during some of my lowest points, and I remember him saying once: “I wonder how many mental illnesses could be cured by just giving people enough money to live comfortably.” There is some great truth there.
Hang in there, if not just for yourself, then for loved ones and for all the people that share your frustrations and struggles, there always is the possibility of change, there are years in which weeks happen and weeks in which years happen, and behind every strike lurks the possibility of revolution - as soon as opportunity arises, your frustration and helplessness can be directed towards change.
That’s at least one thing that keeps me sane.
Do you think you carry on in said broken state, or do you feel OK now that said events (which caused the broken state) are behind you?
I think humans can adapt to almost anything. Maybe one day all the walls will come crashing down but for now, they haven’t.
A few times I needed to leave home and get my mind cleared. Distance helped. I would go to my friends house for the night. I’m in Chicago Area and he was in Champaign.
He move to San Francisco so I went to my Grandmothers in Toronto for a week.
Other times I take the dog to do something.
That wasn’t sustainable so I started seeing a therapist if only just to vent and put an emotion on what I’m feeling. I have so much to vent that I make my therapist overwhelmed.
I reach out to my husband, who is super awesome and usually can help me put my problems either into perspective or out of my mind. I’m usually good at changing my mental channel, but sometimes I struggle and I’m grateful that he knows how to help.
When I’m not at my breaking point but am having a crappy day, I reach out to my dog. She’s not very cuddly and she’s dumb as a box of hair. She’ll sniff my face (focusing on the eyeballs, god knows why) and then turn away and cold shoulder me. But if I try to get up and walk away she’ll follow me like velcro. It cheers me up in a bizarre way :)
You’re very lucky to have him
I’m the luckiest! He’s a wonderful man.
Everybody on earth should have a therapist, whether they think they need one or not
Especially therapists, probably.
But expensive
Unfortunately
Who do you reach out to
Nobody
and why
Asperger’s
Okay, technically I’m reaching out to my homie depression
Nobody. I just keep it to myself and keep doing what I’m doing. Nobody cares how dudes in their 30s feel unless you’re paying them to care.
Exactly. Very well put. This is exactly how real life is for us
jennwiththeseaMy brother (in his 30s) calls me up when he needs support, and I do genuinely care. I’m sorry you don’t have someone. That must be terrible. 😔
This is such an honest and sad statement that I wish was wrong, but isn’t. Whenever I try to open up to another guy, even some of my best friends, they just can’t relate, or make me feel understood, I should say. Talking about depressions and anxiety with another dude feels like chatting about mathematical equations instead of being there for one another. It hurts, but I can’t change it.
sweetviolentblushIt’s worrying how many of the answers are “nobody”. Not surprising based on Lemmy’s main demographic being men in their 20s-30s, but damn.
I freshly graduated secondary school and still have a tight-knit friend group that I can lean on. Even as we drift apart, I hope I can still maintain this type of support network in the future, although I’m not too optimistic.
Good luck in keeping your group together.
- from someone who never really any friends due to how weird I am/almost enigmatic interests (if I may say so myself)
Thanks, to be fair my social circle always consisted of outcasts that banded together to begin with. I don’t think there’s much harm in keeping up with some “normal” activities so you have stuff to talk about though.
All the friendships I’ve had have died away. At this point it’s not even worth the trouble. Have fun while it still lasts.
Thankfully, my answer isn’t nobody.
I was completely alone until high school. I’ve got Asperger’s so that didn’t help things, but therapy and finally meeting sane people in high school got me to make friends. I’m ending college now and I’m still in touch with them. Got at least three people ready to listen to my rambling.
Now my biggest worry is losing them. I doubt I could rebuild that relationship with anyone else. We’ve been through everything.
Spouse or best friend, depending on the situation. (If my spouse is driving me up a wall, best friend it is!) Larger friend group of it’s something less personal or that I want advice or help from multiple people for. It’s taken me a long time, and a lot of personal healing and growth, to get to this point in my life where I have so many people I can rely on. It’s really nice.
I’ve never done it – but if I did reach out while at a breaking point, the priority would probably friend -> sibling -> parent. Let’s hope neither of us reach that point anytime soon, OP!
I yell into the void. In reality I don’t have a person like that.
I’ve really been surprised at the kind, supportive comments i see on the fed - much more that i ever saw on r/.
I agree, especially how honest people seem to be. I wish I could hug everyone in here and tell them it’s okay to be sad.
🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆The internet. Really the only place I have if I am at that point. My family never understands and half the time I don’t even think they listen to me. They don’t even give platitudes or anything. Usually just a glazed over look and a shrug.