polishpopeJul 9, 2023
Julie Goldberg
If a toddler pretends to be a monster in your presence, you are legally required to act terrified.
Jul 9, 2023 at 3:47pmWeb
Show threadJason DidnerJul 9, 2023
@Julie
And if they hand you a toy phone, I don't care how cool you think you are... you answer it.
Show threadJulie GoldbergJul 9, 2023
@jasondidner Also a law.
Show threadMichael PorterJul 9, 2023
@jasondidner @Julie Yup, and my conversation always goes something like, "Oh! You're Sally's boyfriend? Really? You don't say! She never mentioned you! I know!" etc. until they demand the phone back 😄
Show threadColorblind CowboyJul 9, 2023
@Julie It’s not an act for me. I’m terrified of toddlers in any guise.
Show threadNate BarhamJul 9, 2023

@Julie I think that’s a basic scientific principle, like gravity or the speed of light or something.

Pretty sure the universe implodes if you don’t.

Show threadEric Branse-InstoneJul 9, 2023
@Julie yup, currently doing that a lot at the moment. We are temporarily housing a couple of friends who have a 3 yr & 10 month old... Forgotten how much fun pre-schoolers are.
Show threadAshley OdellJul 9, 2023
@Julie A basic life rule for me, along with stopping at lemonade stands. I don't care if the kid mixed the lemonade with their dirty hand and took a few dips before handing me the cup, I am NOT passing them by without purchasing.
Show threadwrathhussyJul 10, 2023
@ashleyodell @Julie and leave a big tip. we turn around to hit kids lemonade stands. one summer our city was undergrounding the lines and we were in elementary school so we set up lemonade and cookies stand. those construction workers were generous af!
Show threadVulcanTourist [MOVED]Jul 9, 2023

@Julie

Leading directly to this result?

Show threadMat BradshawJul 9, 2023
@Julie those that don't are the REAL monsters
Show threadSparklepantsJul 9, 2023
@Julie I usually AM terrified.
Show threadJonathan DresnerJul 9, 2023
@Julie If a baby meets your gaze, it is a moral imperative that you make a face, and then another, and then another, until they look away.
Show threadwauzJul 9, 2023
@Julie
Pretend?
@MaJ1
Show threadannaravenJul 9, 2023
@Julie this is the Way
Show threadMatt TearleJul 10, 2023

@Julie

Case law has affirmed the important precedent that acting terrified can include running away slowly

Show threadYufuki YusefJul 10, 2023
@Julie likewise, if a toddler Superhero uses their powers on you, you must do your best to react accordingly
Show thread🇺🇦 haxadecimal 🚫👑Jul 11, 2023
@Julie The real monster is the person who doesn't play along.