Impress The Net
Abandoned AmericaThere are many things to like about the Fediverse but the overabundance of people who take every opportunity to assume you don't understand simple or obvious concepts so they can explain them to you like you're four - particularly when you're clearly joking about something - is not one of them
For example: you can safely assume pretty much everyone here thinks fascists/billionaires/corporations/bigots are bad too unless they specifically say something that indicates otherwise. If they didn't they probably wouldn't be using the Fediverse to begin with, so putting the high horse back in the stable and speaking to others as though they are already on the same team rather than lecturing them when they're posting about barely related subjects is a good starting point for replies 👍
Ben Schorr 
@AbandonedAmerica If you'll forgive me for saying so....fascists and bigots for sure. Billionaires and corporations....I take those on a case by case basis.
Your mileage may vary. 🙂
Null The Grey@bschorr @AbandonedAmerica My opinion on billionaires and corporations always starts from a position of assuming they're bad. You don't get to be a billionaire without exploitation or systemic abuse of workers, and nearly all corporations exist on the concept of "profits/shareholders uber alles'. Both disproportionately affect the political landscape in their own favor due to their financial influence.
@nullthegrey @bschorr right, and tbh that seems to be the default position here. I'm sure not everyone agrees but it does seem to be the majority
Robin@AbandonedAmerica I have noticed more than a few Twitter exiles posting (and reboosting) their new threads handles today so I’m not sure everyone here has been like minded in terms of those billionaires and corporations at least. But maybe that will be a way to weed them out.
@Chimaera yeah, although I do believe many of us hate corporations but still use their services bc it's hard not to - although yes, it is easy to not sign up for threads
Lynn Lasabre@AbandonedAmerica Well said!
@lynnlasabre thanks Lynn!
Fat, Bald Dabus@AbandonedAmerica I found another reply to another post that that could have used this reply so badly that I had to scroll back to make sure I really was remembering two separate instances of the same basic problem
Eugen Rochko
Francis ☑️@AbandonedAmerica I've not experienced this fortunately! I guess the clientele is a bit nerdier than the average social media user?
@wtfrank possibly? I think maybe in some cases it comes from being passionate about your beliefs and assuming others aren't on the same level as you?
Yves L. Jardin-Noam@AbandonedAmerica
Being neurodivergent, I have to say it is often very hard to keep myself from doing...
And I'm doing it, aren't I? Yeah, I'm doing it.
Ugh.
@evilgardengnome you're not doing it at all, friend. I don't think talking about your experiences falls under this category at all, it's more about talking down to people ❤️
@AbandonedAmerica
Yeah, figured you'd get the joke. It's how I manage tension.
To contribute, I think there's things people can do to foster discussion.
1. Take toots at face value.
2. Don't insert logic/arguments into other's words.
3. Ask a question; don't insinuate intent.
3.a. If you didn't start the thread, ask questions, don't hijack.
4. Walk away; you won't convince someone they're "wrong".
4.a. If the thread is hating/punching down, block, mute, name-and-shame and report the bugger.
@AbandonedAmerica
And I'm aware I'm violating 3 and 3.a. Gotta know when to improvise.
And I'm aware I'm violating 3 and 3.a. Gotta know when to improvise.
@evilgardengnome I think that's a really great list and should be a foundation of internet discussion
Sheila Bjeletich
Jeff Sonstein
ferricoxide@evilgardengnome @AbandonedAmerica
3a is part of why I switched from Mastodon to CalcKey: quote reshares. Great way to comment without hijacking.
3a is part of why I switched from Mastodon to CalcKey: quote reshares. Great way to comment without hijacking.
Stan Wonn 🏳️🌈 🌹@AbandonedAmerica You'd think that more people might understand that being patronizing is not an attractive quality.
@StanWonn absolutely. I also think it's easy to be patronizing and have no idea whatsoever that you're coming across that way
Hegelian Princess@AbandonedAmerica this, and not the absence of quote toots, is the main reason the fediverse doesn't grow
@julieofthespirits I do miss quote toots a lot - 😬 - but yes, I do agree this is a bigger issue 100%
WndlB@AbandonedAmerica @julieofthespirits Huh? What app aren't you using?
AJ in Seattle@AbandonedAmerica Well actually… 👀
A. Rivera@AbandonedAmerica Word. I have come across that smug condescension, and it is annoying as hell (and if too annoying, they get blocked).
@bloodravenlib one of my problems with it is it's very hard to figure out how far is too far and what is reasonable to block people over since it's easy to misread - as opposed to someone who is deliberately being a jerk, which makes it an easy call
@AbandonedAmerica I honestly don't have the patience anymore. People come across as jerks, gone.
Jürgen Hubert@bloodravenlib @AbandonedAmerica Yeah, you don't need any reason at all to block people.
@juergen_hubert @bloodravenlib I agree 100% but also I've had enough interactions where I thought for sure someone was being an asshat, said something back, and realized it was a misunderstanding that I am cautious of I'm not sure. I've also been the person who didn't see that if you read their response in a different tone it sounded wildly different too
Bee O'Problem 
@bloodravenlib @AbandonedAmerica temp mute might be worth it for that case. People can have bad days and let that leak into their interactions.
If they're still annoying/hostile after a week to cool down then they're for sure worth blocking.
Edit: this was meant as a reply to the "hard to decide" post by Abandoned... Oops
@beeoproblem @bloodravenlib I go back and forth about muting. Sometimes I feel if someone annoys me enough to the point of muting I should just block them but then I'm not sure enough about their intentions to block
Rev. Bussy Body of The Church of America MLM and Shooting Club@AbandonedAmerica funny to see this post right after finding a specimen at the very top of my notifs
@apophis 😬😬 yeah I'm getting a lot of it in the last 24 hours also
Louis Ingenthron@AbandonedAmerica I feel like part of that is the attempt to fill the dopamine-deficiency left behind from leaving an argument-filled troll platform...
@LouisIngenthron you know, that's a pretty solid theory
Gorgeous na Shock!@AbandonedAmerica I'm used to that from my everyday life back when I had to go in to the office. 😌
@indigoparadox ugh sorry that was your work environment that's not cool
@AbandonedAmerica I just figure offices are like that if you look a certain way. That's probably one of the reasons I'm so militantly pro-WFH. 😌
Lucinda Catchlove@AbandonedAmerica Just FYI, this can be a neurodiversity thing and it might be useful if neurotypical people took this into consideration too. People on the spectrum may not get jokes that rely upon sarcasm unless clearly marked as /s Plus people on the spectrum tend to love a fact and can get didactic about things, sharing information is caring! So, while it may seem annoying and some people may be talking down, others are merely trying to share things they've learned and be helpful.
@Lucinda yeah, I get that, but that's not quite what I'm talking about. I love fact sharing. This is more "fact sharing with the assumption that the person you are sharing it with is particularly dense" which is a slight but important distinction
FeralRobots@AbandonedAmerica We on the #fediverse do not have a sense of humor that we are aware of.
Ge0rG 📷@AbandonedAmerica that's been an issue with all forms of text communication with (mostly) strangers. The lack of intonation, facial expressions, and of a way to punch jerks in the face 😜
Having so many followers just increases your chances to get this sort of "feedback", unfortunately. Please keep on and don't let it drag you down!
@ge0rg thank you! ❤️It's a passing annoyance rather than a deep wound but some days it definitely gets to me more than others
And I agree! The lack of body language and tone makes internet communication so fraught with misunderstandings
Bryan Hansel@AbandonedAmerica it's definitely a unique platform.
Daniel Tuttle 🌵🤘@AbandonedAmerica From what I've gathered, this is one of the things that keeps some people away entirely
@DanielTuttle yup. And their complaints are valid.
hbeeinc@AbandonedAmerica So....social media.
Heide Estes@AbandonedAmerica my son: “mainsplainers do it to men too.”
Juan Carlos Muñoz@AbandonedAmerica Agreed, I've noticed that too. This is still my preferred platform and I do generally enjoy a lot my interactions here, but the amount of "let me explain this to you" replies is indeed oddly high, at least relative to the smaller user base here. I sometimes get some Reddit vibes in that sense, but maybe it's just me.
teledyn 𓂀
Chilly Dee Williams@AbandonedAmerica Mine is being daily/periodically/semi-regularly reminded of something that I had never thought about before because it doesn't apply to me directly but with even a small amount of empathy I could have figured out in an interaction or something I am acutely aware of and think about constantly and don't need to be reminded of. It's like everyone is a version of my mom's worse habit.
But, I think we are saying the same thing here.
saarmuller@AbandonedAmerica Yes, a little looser and more sense of humor would be nice. So now I follow you!
Alex, the Hearth Fire@AbandonedAmerica define "clearly".
@WizardOfDocs I'm going to respectfully pass as this sounds a bit like debate bait