@JeremyMallin I do think about it sometimes. All of the time I wasted doing things that I thought I was supposed to do… Because they were the rules as I understood them. I wish earlier I had known about alexithymia because it has caused me a lot of problems not being able to communicate on my feelings or do what I perceive as emoting on demand. I am a lot better off now and mostly I try to just be grateful for the knowledge that I am gaining but definitely I do look back sometimes