Brianna WuJul 3, 2023
Women of Mastodon! How do you deal with men talking over you in a professional setting?
Show threadBrianna WuJul 3, 2023

2/ None of my go-tos are great. Interjecting, “can I please finish,” is the best I have. Raising your voice and repeating until they stop is aggressive and bitchy.

Letting them say whatever, totally ignoring, and starting over from the beginning also works but is super bitchy.

Show threadMatt WilcoxJul 3, 2023
@briannawu As a bloke I’m aware I’m not who you’re asking. I would just like to say however that those are not something I’d consider bitchy. If the muppet can’t shut their mouth and be polite, that’s a them problem and they can learn to back off because they can’t behave like that. Disallow that behaviour by making it impossible. Don’t stop talking. You have the ground.
Show threadBrianna Wu
@mattwilcox I wish we lived in a world where you didn’t lose status for doing that.
Jul 3, 2023 at 9:58pmWeb
Show threadMatt WilcoxJul 3, 2023
@briannawu I wish there was anything to be done that doesn’t amount to “wait for the archaic attitudes to die out because they’re seen as unacceptable”. Sadly, I doubt there’s much you can do from your side of this shit show other than get other men on board. Which suuuucks.
Show threadRufus J. CooterJul 3, 2023

@mattwilcox @briannawu FWIW, as a fellow bloke, here's a bit of 'allyship' that I practice that many seem to find helpful:

When I'm in the room for a man pulling that BS (especially if it's "my" meeting), after 15-20 seconds, I'll cut the dude off w/ an explanation that they're off-topic, the ideas that they're proposing aren't feasible or change the scope of work (or all 3); then, I stop myself short, w/ a big "Oh, terribly sorry, Brianna, we interrupted you! You were saying?"

Show threadBrianna WuJul 3, 2023
@RufusJCooter @mattwilcox THANK YOU. This is appreciated more than you know.
Show threadRufus J. CooterJul 3, 2023

@briannawu @mattwilcox (I've been thanked more than once, so I have some inkling, but honestly, if it's just you, me, and the rest of the Fediverse, this seems like the bare minimum?)

(Side benefit: it seems like I'm the only one in my peer cohort of middle managers who can wrap up a 1-hour meeting, in, y'know, 1-hour. Probably just a coincidence...)

Show threadMartha HowellJul 4, 2023
@RufusJCooter @briannawu @mattwilcox
It's the way it should be, but it's diamond rare in real life. Thanks for your support and your example.
Show threadDie Biene 🐝Jul 4, 2023
@briannawu @RufusJCooter @mattwilcox
+1
Show threadMartha HowellJul 4, 2023

@RufusJCooter @mattwilcox @briannawu
THIS. You will also earn an ally in office politics for life.

This is not limited to men. Senior employees who step in to boost women, particularly young/junior employees, when they are being nullified is the best way of giving back.

Show threadRufus J. CooterJul 4, 2023
@MHowell @mattwilcox @briannawu (Probably just another coincidence! But! My department has one of the lowest 'turnover' rates at my org. I think it's been about... 5? 6? years since I've had to interview for a new hire. Anyway! Coincidences!)
Show threadMatt WilcoxJul 4, 2023
@RufusJCooter Yep, that's the thing to do for sure. It just sucks that effective mitigation of ego-driven bad behaviour requires a third party intervention. @MHowell @briannawu
Show threadFeohJul 20, 2023

@mattwilcox @briannawu One thing that may help is taking the guy aside outside the context of the meeting, like in private chat or something, and letting them know that what they're doing is rude and insulting and generally not OK.

There are plenty of testosterone poisoned buttheads out there that won't listen, but there are also PLENTY of guys who just need educating, and it's up to us to step in and help in that way so they don't have to, because it's not their job to teach adulting :)