"Never laugh at someone for being interested in something you find weird or boring. That just means you don't know enough about it yet."
Something my (now sadly deceased) mum said to me when I was a teen.
Always stuck with me.
Truer now, in the era of social media, than ever.
I forget who I was snarking about at the time. Probably the interests of one of my siblings.
She (gently) reminded me of how people sneered at me for being interested in SciFi and history etc. Asked how that made me feel, and if I'd want others to feel the same. Smart woman.
Her point was you don't have to like a thing, but should always try to learn a bit and see WHY others do. Because people being interested in things is always fun.
If I can give one piece of life advice:
Whenever someone geeks about something in front of you, or admits an 'embarrassing' interest, just say:
"That sounds AMAZING. I don't know anything about that. Tell me about it."
Then just listen.
Not once in my life have I regretted it.
@garius While I'd never rain on their parade, if asked to respond, I do so honestly.
Unless they are kids. Then I might lie to not dampen their enthusiasm.
Works great. Even weeds out some folks, but gently.
@MHowell @garius I am not a fan of the kind of reality show that's formed around creating/capitalizing on personal interdrama ...
But I totally agree with you on the creative types! Glow Up has been my last jam, and I am very sad that Swedish Netflix has removed the series of "best body painter" and "best tattooer" (I don't remember the name of either show)
And if you ask them two remotely relevant questions from what they've said they'll likely buy you a beverage or two or more.
Help someone with the not-so-fun work of a pastime, like washing the boat or a plane or a horse, and likely you can play along for free or even 10% of the ownership cost.
@inthehands: It's not strange.
Great advice that I wish I had learned much earlier in life.
Two of life's rules of thumb:
1. Enthusiasts are often the most appealing people in a room.
2. If I find something boring then I really don't know enough about it.
Often the reason that you don't know enough about it, is the reason why you find it boring,
@garius I love what my children tell me about something amazing, they're into, I don't know about. I tell them: "In our house that makes you the expert on this subject. Will you teach me about it?"
They really love that.
And that's how I learned things I didn't know about cephalopods from my 5 y/o. And the correct application of foundation and makeup from my eldest.
@garius 100% agreed. I try to always do this - my favourite one was when chatting to someone who first thought my interest was mockery but then really dug into his interest.
Turns out windmills in the South East of the UK are fascinating especially the restoration that a whole group of people were doing.
@garius I'd like to add that you can also still dislike something after you've learned about it, and talk about it with people without being dismissive.
My favourite thing to say is "Yes, I know about x. It's not for me."
This comes up a lot with regards to TV shows I don't watch but are very popular.
I recommend The Boring Talks on BBC Sounds, a series of podcasts about thoroughly niche subjects by people who are passionate about them. For example, The Taxonomy of Cornflakes (#24). These are experts in their chosen fields, who know everything there is to know. I find them fascinating (and you might too).
I was *just* talking about this with someone yesterday! I *love* hearing about people's special interests!!
First, because I love how excited and relaxed they get, 😊 but also because it's a chance to learn about something I either have no real interest in or would never have the chance to learn about otherwise - that's incredible to me.
They are giving me the opportunity to have a fuller and more nuanced view of the world.
They are making me a better person. 🙏
It really is!!
I once had a plane companion talk to me about MOSQUITOS (& transmission of disease), & not thirty minutes after we landed I saw one she had been describing!
That was huge for me! I never would have known what it was without her, but also, I'm not good with nature IDs. Everything is just a tree, a flower, a bird ...😬
So to be able to recognise a mosquito, & be absolutely 100% positive I knew what it was (& even say something about it), was THRILLING. 🤩
Oooh, "permission to talk about their favourite thing in the world" - ouch, but you're right. I think at least sometimes (especially if you're younger), that's a big thing too.
(I was definitely a kid with weird interests - and I remember how painful it was being laughed at *as an adult* for sharing something with - I thought - other like-minded adults. I had been so excited, and I was shut right down.)
@garius I once sat beside a professional decaffeinator on Greyhound.
It's a fascinating and surprisingly complex process with two primary paths: steam (temperature w/ water as the solvent) and chemical (which is slightly more effective and avoids pre-cooking the beans).
EVERYTHING is interesting when examined in the right light.
@garius This is so strange because I've come to the understanding that when I'm the enthusiastic person I need to be considerate and throttle myself. And I assume that if someone expresses interest, unless they're close to the domain themselves, they're at least partially being polite, so I need to be careful not to overstay my welcome to geek out.
Given what you've said and the replies, it must all depend on who I'm talking to. Hell I'm not even sure I'm as engaged as you are as a listener.
@garius this is also one of my absolute favorite responses to that experience, and I always enjoy the results.
Being curious is one of the qualities I love most about myself and love to see in others.
Enthusiasm can be contagious, and I like to catch it when I can.
I did and I ended up married to him. 10/10
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