Louie Mantia, Jr.Jun 28, 2023

I really, deeply wish everyone would make some collective effort to unlearn the passive argumentative nature we all learned from Twitter.

Everyone always treated posts like invitations to debate or argue every point.

We deserve better than this. We don’t have to do that.

Show threadLouie Mantia, Jr.

It’s so ingrained that lots of people don’t realize they’re doing it. They think they’re just “making conversation.”

There are so many ways of making conversation that aren’t just contradicting the person.

That doesn’t mean the only option is to agree either! These are false choices you don’t have to adhere to.

Jun 28, 2023 at 8:26pmWeb
Show threadLouie Mantia, Jr.Jun 28, 2023

Put frankly: people don’t care about opinions from people they wouldn’t ask advice from.

Stop offering your opinion to people who don’t even know you. They don’t care.

For any of that to have meaning or weight, you’ve gotta have some kind of rapport or relationship with them.

Offering your opinions without those things is completely meaningless.

Show threadLouie Mantia, Jr.Jun 28, 2023

I think part of this I attribute to Twitter because it popularized one-way relationships (follows vs mutual friendship) as a platform.

It gave lots of people the idea they were closer to the person they were replying to than they actually were.

It’s not all bad, many friendships can blossom from that. But I maintain that a bad way to make friends with a stranger is to argue with them.

Show threadLouie Mantia, Jr.Jun 28, 2023
[This post was—of course—not intended to be bait, but if you would like to test my very clear boundaries, you will be very swiftly blocked.]
Show threadRichard GrantJun 28, 2023

@louie

Louie, I am amazed to note that you and I seem to have joined Mastodon within a week of one another, in August 2018. So as one old-timer to another ... don't you feel like we have our own problematic posting habits over here? Like, in particular, we are prone, historically speaking, to lecturing people on how to behave. Which newcomers find off-putting. As well they might. Don't you think?

Show threadLouie Mantia, Jr.Jun 29, 2023
@richardgrant If you don’t like what I have to say, don’t listen. Move on, and don’t reply. There’s nothing more off-putting than a reply like this. Be gone.
Show threadJ. BlakeJun 30, 2023
@louie @richardgrant What you are basically saying is you want all the free exposure social media provides without the social part. You want to be heard without listening to any other point of view. Writing a blog might be easier than regulating responses here, tbh.
Show threadborkcorkedforksJun 29, 2023

@louie

"Stop offering your opinion to people who don’t even know you. They don’t care."

You're posting this on a social website with the functionality to allow anyone to see it and respond to it. Literally putting your opinion out there to strangers then getting upset someone you don't know responds with a comment. No one is randomly crashing into your discord or dming you.

Maybe have a private chat/posts for just people you know if thats all you want. Maybe find a blog or a platform that allows you to disable comments if you don't like comments.

People are interacting because it's built in functionality of the website and to not really made to be a one way or private thing. It's a product of the features offered by the platform.

Show threadLouie Mantia, Jr.Jun 29, 2023

@borkcorkedforks you are not entitled to my time or attention, regardless of what UI is presented to you. UI is a tool, not an instruction manual. How you use the tool should adhere to social contracts and personal boundaries.

Be gone.

Show threadFogmeisterJun 29, 2023

@louie you seem to be doing a lot of what you are preaching at people not to do.

🤷🏻‍♂️

Show threadFogmeisterJun 29, 2023
@louie oh… I appear to have been blocked. 🤔
Show threadJ. BlakeJun 30, 2023
@Fogmeister This is the wittiest response to this whole insufferable thread. If you don’t want responses, get off social media. Real simple.
Show threadStop ThatJun 29, 2023
@louie It really is wild over here on Mastodon - the amount of mansplaining and Well Actuallys on this site feels like it dwarfs twitter at times. People will just rock up to tell you why you are wrong/what something ACTUALLY means, or explain to you a joke you made. And like you said, it’s one thing when it’s someone you know, but something entirely different when it’s someone you don’t know from Adam popping in like they know you.
Show threadLouie Mantia, Jr.Jun 29, 2023
@stopthatgirl7 Right. The context of friendship changes it completely. I think some networks like these with one-way follows give people the impression they’re friends when they’re not. So they behave in a way that’s overly close, like they’re your chums.
Show threadStop ThatJun 29, 2023
@louie Which can and has caused communication issues. There are jokes you can make with your friends that you can’t make with strangers, and they assume since they know you, you’re friends. There’s a level of sarcasm/rudeness that’s fine amongst friends but will be taken poorly by a stranger. A lot of folks don’t realize they’re involved in a one-sided, parasocial relationship because the person on the other end isn’t famous or well-known.
Show threadChookMother 🇦🇺🦘Jun 30, 2023
@stopthatgirl7 @louie Mastodon has way more people telling you how to behave, of which this thread is an example.
Show threadStop ThatJun 30, 2023
@anne_twain @louie ur so edgy
Show threaddbrand666Jun 29, 2023
@louie
Either your assertion is correct and people who read this won't listen to you or you're wrong and they will.
Show thread2¢Jun 29, 2023

@louie this toot appeared in my feed unsolicited.

It's a joke, right? Did I fall for it?

Show threadChookMother 🇦🇺🦘Jun 30, 2023

@louie "Stop offering your opinion to people who don’t even know you. They don’t care."

Does this also apply to you?

Show threadRooney’s old accountJun 29, 2023
@louie let’s be curious and ask questions that aren’t rhetorical or about scoring “points” in an imaginary debate.
Show threadLouie Mantia, Jr.Jun 29, 2023
@girls_can I think questions are dope. More people should ask them!! They give people the opportunity to elaborate their thoughts rather than feel obligated to defend their position. Same opportunities for learning, less conflict. It's just good manners!
Show threadRooney’s old accountJun 29, 2023
@louie exactly! Sincere questions are a great way to build community. We don’t need to always agree, but with a truly open mind we can better grasp other peoples’ perspective and have more compassion for each other.
Show threadweirdherm Jun 29, 2023
@louie I feel this so hard!! I didn't use Twitter much because strangers thought arguing & critiquing was harmless conversation & everything was open to it. Thanks for posting this