You can have any superpower, but the first person to reply chooses a side effect

https://lemmy.world/post/477966

You can have any superpower, but the first person to reply chooses a side effect - Lemmy.world

self-explanatory!!

Omnipotence
Having unlimited power means you control everything. You have no time to enjoy your power because you're constantly making sure the laws of physics stay and balance so the universe doesn't dissolve.
Guthix basically.
Every attempt at thought or action ends in an omnipotence paradox. E.g., can God make a rock so heavy even he can't lift it?
You also gain impotence. Congratulations! You now know that you can only be a god by being a paradox
Telekinesis!
But the strain and concentration required causes you to dump your drawers.
You can be in the shit a lot with powers like telekinesis huh
He should team up with 'Fly with farts'
Reactive adaptation.
“Reactive adaptation” To the wrong emergency.
Make Bezos, Musk, Zuck, Spez, and @[email protected] nut whenever i clap
they all have to be in the same room with you
Teleportation by thinking of a place
Does not teleport your cloths.
Hm, I'd still take it
Ehh. Just look up pictures of nude beaches or something.
You are unable to control the ability and will teleport even when you are just be reminded of a place.
this includes extraterrestrial and fictional places
The first time you go to a church and actually understand what they're saying as a child, you go to hell
Thinking includes dreams and nightmares. You wake up in interesting places.
As you get older you keep thinking back to places that no longer exist.
You don’t teleport to the place you’re thinking of.
Clear anyone of debt just by thinking it.
Their debt transfers to you.
And then to you…
And then to an orphan somewhere. You monster.

removal of debt happens by way of destruction of banking infrastructure. this may or may not be related to other harm

-- this is actually how quite a lot of people got debts cleared on 9/11 (this was before offsite backups)

Ability to transform into a dog that shoots bees when it barks
Control time
You retain no memories of anything that happened during a time stop. If you go back in time, everyone else remembers things normally, but you forgot that period of time completely.
You can only control it one minute at a time and only forward
When you stop time you cannot move as all the air molecules around you are stopped.
Fly with farts.
The only way you can generate fart power is by eating poo.
Yeah, but then you get to have a cool catchphrase like, "Eat shit and fly".
You have uncurable IBS
Can spontaneously manifest any variety of cheese
Can't control when you do it.
Oh I'd pick up some napkins and follow that person. I hope blue cheeses are on the list, and maybe some gruyère 🤤
Cheese becomes tasteless
It appears from a random bodily orifice each time, and never the same one twice.
You're constantly followed by an army of mice that want to eat your cheese.
You constantly stink of molding cheese
At the rate of one gram per hour.
But you have no control over where and when.
Ability to successfully persuade any living being to do what I want them to do.
Your entire family was murdered in a dark city alley to lead to your powers.
Don't worry, he'll convince a genius to create a time machine. Problem solved.
Damn the last time that happened I only inherited immense wealth and used it to beat up street level criminals
You are never truly sure again if people are actually listening to you or even like you or they are just enchanted by your power. You are never again able to form meaningful relationships with that doubt in you mind, you can never find true love and become a recluse.
it requires days of careful observation of that living being at least to prepare persuasion speech. the speech takes entire day even for simplest tasks and you can't do virtually anything else by sheer intensity required
So…ghost face?
Good ol' invisibility
You need to wear a ring to use it, and undead monsters hunting for the ring will instantly know where you are. It may or may not have a mind of its own convincing you to never part ways with it.