Derek Powazek 🐐Apr 14, 2023
This says more about me than mastodon, but at this point in my life, when I'm tempted to reply to someone to disagree, I just unfollow them instead. It's better for my mental health.
Show threadDerek Powazek 🐐Apr 14, 2023

Ahahahaha.

Me: Here’s a thing I do for my mental health.

Rando: Don’t do that.

Me: *block*

(I also block for my mental health.)

Show threadDerek Powazek 🐐

Note that I started the original post by saying “this says more about me” and “at this point in my life.” There was a time when being Right online meant a lot to me. That time has passed. Hell, I’m not sure I care about being right in person anymore.

It may happen to you, too. When the time comes, try to enjoy it. It’s very liberating to let online strangers exist in their wrongness.

Apr 14, 2023 at 9:06pmWeb
Show threadDerek Powazek 🐐Apr 14, 2023
Friends and family are different. That’s how you know they’re friends and family: you’re willing to expend the time and energy to work on the shit that needs work.
Show threadDerek Powazek 🐐Apr 14, 2023

Today a woman came up to me in a parking lot after I parked my truck. She wanted to know if I still believed the bumper sticker on my tailgate that says "patriotic Americans get vaccinated." I warily said yes. She started on an anti-vaxxer rant.

I could have had a fight with this woman. I could have tried to change her mind. I could have done a lot of things.

I just said "oh, no thank you" and walked away.

Sometimes denying someone your attention is the only thing you need to do.

Show threadDerek Powazek 🐐Apr 14, 2023
I'm feeling old and particularly beaten down by life at the moment. Maybe I'll get my fighting spirit back someday. But for now I need to reserve my energy for the people and places where I can do some good for the people who matter to me. And a rando in a parking lot, or on mastodon, is just not it.
Show threadDerek Powazek 🐐Apr 14, 2023
You can get one of those stickers, btw, if you also want to have fun conversations with strangers.
https://milkbarn.farm/collections/stickers/products/get-vaccinated
(Yes, it uses a sexist trope. I'm sorry. Don't fight with me about it. I'm too tired.)
Patriotic Americans Get Vaccinated Sticker

Show threadSteph (Paddock || Shaver)Apr 14, 2023

@fraying Honestly, same.

Though I might have wished her the day she deserved before I walked off.

I am far more interested in finding moments to be kind to strangers in the wild than wasting energy on bullies and ignoramuses who will never learn anyway, and just want to suck away my sweet, sweet mental juices.

Show threadDerek Powazek 🐐Apr 14, 2023
@onalark Amen! In a world where they’re “flooding the zone with shit,” we have to get better about not spending our energies on the shit so we have it for the real fight.
Show threadJApr 15, 2023
@fraying I got a few of these when you first announced them. I asked a former manager if he’d be willing to slap it on the lid of his work laptop to piss off a fellow (anti vax) manager. His words: “Hell yeah, gimme that shit”
Show threadDerek Powazek 🐐Apr 15, 2023
@J 🙌
Show threadscribandotcomApr 14, 2023

@fraying Depriving randos of your time and attention (their oxygen) is very effective self-defense. Sometimes it's even satisfying.

Here's to better days ahead.

Show threadtopsApr 14, 2023

@fraying I think that is a good use of your time and energy.

I, for one, find what your words here useful and inspiring so it's not like you're doing nothing.

¡FUERZA! !
.

Show threadonlydaveApr 14, 2023
@fraying new bumper sticker idea. oh wait. bumper stickers are dumb.
Show threadonlydaveApr 14, 2023
@fraying religious quotes posted to a sign on your front yard are dumb as well.
Show threadonlydaveApr 14, 2023
@fraying also billboards are ugly and cause many traffic accidents.
Show threadVincent Wanders AimlesslyApr 14, 2023
@sammydog77 @fraying have a nice day.
Show threadAndré NantelApr 14, 2023
@fraying Smart man! They are not worth the oxygen and extra cortisol levels.
Show threadChristopher GriffithsApr 15, 2023
@fraying A solid choice, and likely left her more flat-footed than anything else you could have said.
Show threadDerek Powazek 🐐Apr 15, 2023
@cjgyt yeah she was definitely ready for a fight
Show threadKim ScheinbergApr 15, 2023

@fraying
When I was 25, a friend wrote to me:

"The best defense is usually to lose. It takes years for people like me and you who were trained to win to learn this."

I was in my 40s before I could understand and internalize that lesson. It remains one of the most valuable things anyone's ever said to me.