Do you believe in love at first sight? My instinctive answer is always 'lol no', but then I remember my grandparents...
My Grandad met my Granny just before he had to head off for two years of military service. Time he hated, which he felt was thoroughly wasted.
There was an event on at the church the night before he got shipped off, and he went along. Ran into this beautiful, vivacious, funny woman who took his breath away. They spent all evening chatting, forgetting about everyone else. 🧵
Sadly nothing could come of it - he had to go to training/service, which put a spanner in the works of any romance. Bigger issue, though, was the fact that she was engaged to somebody else.
He went back to his dorm that night and couldn't stop thinking about her. He knew that he'd met someone special, and he was pretty sure that she felt similarly.
She had told him he should pop by if he was in the area again, pointed out which house was hers, round the corner from the church.
Anyway. My Grandad stayed awake all night thinking about her, and decided he'd kick himself forever if he didn't shoot his shot.
So the next morning, he got up early, and walked to the house she'd pointed out to him.
It was her family home, but instead of her parents, she answered the door. Smiled. Asked him why he was there so soon.
Him: "I'm here to ask you to marry me."
My Granny - sparkling, twinkling, generally incredible - grinned and went: "I suppose you'd better come in then!"
I feel a bit sorry for her other fiance, but she made the right call - their relationship was one of very few that I saw when growing up that made me genuinely believe that long-term love was possible. They *adored* each other. They *backed* each other. They supported and cared for each other.
Many decades later, at their 50 or 60th wedding anniversary (they made it to 69 years, which is nice) I asked my Grandad what their secret was. How did they keep the love alive?
He couldn't think of the answer then, but the next time I saw him at somebody's wedding he hurried up to me and said "You asked what the secret to a happy marriage was and I can't believe I couldn't put my finger on it when you asked! But the answer to your question is 'friendship.' It's always friendship. Granny and I have always first and foremost been the very best of friends. We may have difficulties but we never forget that we're friends."
❤️
Granny passed away just before Covid, and today I went to Grandad's funeral. He was such a gentle, clever, kind man.
In my eyes, his life has always been irreversibly tied to his love story with my Granny. It's powerful to know that kind of love is possible, and his advice about friendship helped me escape men who were less than friendly to me.
I still don't believe in love at first sight, but I do believe that love plus friendship is a killer combination.
Here's to Granny and Grandad ❤️
Oh also final point, I promise! My Grandad understood something that I think is a big part of my own philosophy too: that people are made up of two things - atoms and stories. When your atoms break down, what's left is stories.
My Grandad wrote his memoirs and sent them to all his grandchildren. We'll pass them down to the next generation, and that way everyone gets to hear about his amazing life and his love for Granny.
Tell your stories. They're precious.
@girlonthenet this is beautiful. Made me a bit emotional but grandad is right, friendship is absolutely the key. Above and beyond anything else Michael and I are best friends and its the key to it all.
Also I fell in love with him the first time I saw him but never told anyone that as most people think its silly and can't be true.
@girlonthenet Thank you for telling that story! I’ve been collecting some of my dads stories over the last five years (he is now nearly 95) but to his chagrin he doesn’t remember a lot of stuff now. I wish I had started earlier!
I’ve just been thinking recently that I’d like to jot down some things about my life for my children to look at one day. Nothing super-exciting, but memories none the less 😊
@girlonthenet The poet Muriel Rukeyser, in an otherwise unexceptional (to me) poem called "The Speed of Darkness" wrote:
The universe is made of stories not atoms.
Even your grandad's atoms were just stories too.
ps. when I first came across this line, I thought it glib word play. 25+ years later, I think it's a critical fundamental truth.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/56287/the-speed-of-darkness
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