Today in "Things I Found In My Yard." As a reminder, I am in Ohio, roughly 800 miles inland. Yes, it's alive. Until a hawk finds it, anyway.
@scalzi When life gives you lobsters...
@scalzi The crawfish invasion has begun!
@scalzi hold on. I have a vague memory of an invasive crayfish species that the Ohio Dept of Natural Resources wants to know about. This may be that.
@scalzi I learnt about lawn lobsters from @ursulav
@scalzi Crawdad! Do you have a stream nearby? Find his brothers and have you a boil.
@scalzi Isn't it a crawfish? Can't tell the scale, but that seems more likely than an actual salt-water lobster. They're cool critters though and should be around there.
@sentientsponge @scalzi Ursula Vernon posted about lawn crawfish a couple years back. They're apparently a thing.

@scalzi Umm did you discover a new species of lobster ? Do you have a stream near you? A giant crawdad?

So many questions....

#scalzifindsalobster

@scalzi my family owns and operates the limestone quarry just outside of Bradford. As a kid I was always amazed and confused to find fossils of ocean-going ancient animals in the quarry.
@scalzi I found a live lobster in the stuffed animal section of Toys'R'Us once...
@hessiebell @scalzi That sounds like the start to delightful short story
@scalzi Currently imagining a family buying a live lobster at the store, and their child insisting on releasing it into the wild rather than eating it. Because that’s what my kids would do.
@scalzi it’s one of @cstross’s sentient Moscow Windows NT User Group lobsters from #accelerando. It’s here to help #chatgpt invade us.
Rusty Crayfish

(Faxonius rusticus) Restricted in Michigan Rusty Crayfish are lobs

Keeping A Grocery Store Lobster As A Pet

YouTube
@scalzi oh, you've got burrowing crayfish! Look for the mud chimneys they make in the yard.
@scalzi With time running out, the Lobster People sent an emissary to warn Scalzi, but he just took a photo, posted it on social media, and went on about his day.
@angusm @scalzi Today's internet has been won by Angus McIntyre.
@scalzi Cambarus diogenes is my guess. A burrowing crayfish found in Ohio.
@scalzi not quite as far inland, but this guy was waving at me while I was mowing the lawn in Lancaster PA. He was embedded a good inch or so into the dirt, so I’m assuming some bird dropped its lunch
@scalzi at the live sea food places on Canal Street (NYC), I have sees crustaceans jump out of containers, make a run for it and reach the rain sewer (which empties into the sea)
@scalzi „Tenderly will I use you curling grass“.
@scalzi I’ll add my voice to the chorus of people pointing out that (a) there are plenty of freshwater crustaceans that could have climbed or been fished out of a nearby stream, and (b) if it _weren’t_ alive (and there were more left than just shell), you would have known about it _long_ before seeing it. Rotting lobster is one of the worst things I’ve ever smelled.
@scalzi did you name it Etouffe?
@scalzi I have them in my yard too. They burrow and leave a small dirt tower.