duvaMar 15, 2023
Low Quality Facts

Expect to see many banking crisis jokes on here in the near future. Common examples include:

-Has the US tried turning the banking system off and on again?

-Maybe banks shouldn't have spent so much money on avocado toast.

-Why don't banks just pull themselves up by their bootstraps?

They will all be funny and you should boost all of them.

Mar 15, 2023 at 3:04pmWeb
Show threadMrfriskyMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts maybe the banks have a Crack habit, they should have plenty of money otherwise
Show threadDoug 🌈🇨🇦 Mar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
We're not broke, our Capital is on secondment.
Show threadEhproque has movedApr 22, 2023
@Oldfartrant @lowqualityfacts we haven't collapsed, we merely experienced a rapid unscheduled disassembly
Show threadsmells of bikesMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I mean the banks could just get a second job and I'm sure their financial situation would improve. It's simple math: more money in than out and they'll be fine.
Show threadCaledonia 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿Mar 15, 2023
@smellsofbikes @lowqualityfacts They need to budget properly and not rely on other banks (food) to bail them out.
Show threadein kleines zMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
If they can't pay the rent for their bank branches - well nobody is forcing them to rent in the inner city.
Show threadRod_RescuemanMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts You forgot one:
- Their rugged individualism will get them thru the crisis.
Show thread2xfoMar 15, 2023
@Rod_Rescueman @lowqualityfacts
This is why libertarians that lose money never ask for help 😅
Show threadCoyotyMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts If they're baled out, they'll expect to always be baled out and not make any effort to improve their situation.
Show thread2xfoMar 15, 2023

@lowqualityfacts
These banks just want to sit on piles of other people's money like that's important work or something.

Get a job! Contribute to society, ya bums!

Show threadasacamanoMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
Show threadRiley S. FaelanMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts: The bootstraps thing is obvious. They can't run away from a bank run while holding their bootstraps, obviously!
Show threadw0dzMar 15, 2023

@lowqualityfacts

...in distant coffee bars
cool bankers dream their spoons
are long enough ...

https://clover.serveblog.net/w0dz/lizard-skins

15

lizard skins

now as night cloaks the shaking afternoon we draw our anti missile curtains sleeping rough in our own cellars in distant coffee bars ...

w0dz
Show threadRachelMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts it's almost like allowing rich bastards to do whatever they want is a BAD thing
Show threadDarrel PlantMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
What about all the banks that failed and didn't get a bailout?
Show threadcoyotle Mar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts there is something to do with avocado bar/ salad bar ? It is somewhere, it just nees to be found
Show threadKevin B 🇺🇸🇺🇦Mar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts The first bullet point- turning off and back on again, was one of the first things FDR did as I recall to bring us out of the Depression. Closed the banks for a few days. Still took quite a few more things like CCC, and years up to WWII to get us back on track. I guess they would call him the first Woke POTUS 🤔
Show threadinaforestMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts 😆
Show threadSammyGalenMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts How about this:
Maybe #BillClinton shouldn't have revoked Glass–Steagall !
Show threadCatboyCodyMar 15, 2023

@lowqualityfacts No bank wants to work anymore!  

It looks like you're running a bank. Would you like help? 

Show threadAkseli Mar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts when the bank is sus
Show threadmadame poolhairMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts hahaha #great
Show threadKaterTotMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts ready!
Show threadSteviLeeAlverMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts 🤣😂🤣
Show threadmarknelsonMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts if these banks want any money, they need to be regularly drug tested and prove that they looking for work.
Show threadSupportive Tree-based lifeformMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
If they're so big they need to be bailed out... maybe they need to be nationalized.
Show threadMisterStarsMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts if only those banks had studied harder in high school, they could’ve earned a scholarship. #Mastomaniacs
Show threadBeach-n-BrewMar 15, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Banks should smile more
Show threadRiordanMar 16, 2023
@lowqualityfacts The banks should stop eating out and ordering with apps. Just go to the grocery and you will save money
Show threadMyMiloCat+MydogNoodlesMar 16, 2023
@lowqualityfacts This, so much this 
Show threadmoondadMar 16, 2023
@lowqualityfacts Put Martha Stewart in charge.
Show threadAndy HermesMar 16, 2023
@lowqualityfacts You forgot:
"They shouldn't have invested more than they can afford to lose"
"Maybe they shouldn't eat breakfast".
Show threadkeplerMar 16, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
@raccoonformality The banks just have to wait for it to trickle down. 
Show threadEvelynMar 16, 2023
@lowqualityfacts @mastodon.gamedev.place I really like the avocado toast one
Show threadmytwobits01Mar 16, 2023
@lowqualityfacts OMG, "Why don't banks just pull themselves up by their bootstraps?" is worthy of its own post -- nay, its own *account*.
Show threadJames BoagMar 16, 2023
A pole was taken today and 100% of tents collapsed.
Show threadpiofthingsApr 8, 2023
@lowqualityfacts the banks should cancel their Netflix subscriptions and work harder 🤪🤪🤪
Show threadMatthias Rex 🦣Apr 8, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I will be following these jokes closely and will consider them to be true due to my general ignorance of economics.
Show threadTorMentorApr 8, 2023
@lowqualityfacts starting with this one!
Show threadEllaApr 8, 2023
@lowqualityfacts This is a high quality fact
Show threadMark DarbyshireApr 8, 2023
@lowqualityfacts I apologise. I have boosted this one instead of having to boost all of them.
Show threadSciEditorApr 8, 2023
@lowqualityfacts They should have saved for a rainy day. Responsibility: 6 months expenses and retirement
Show threadMichael HolroydApr 8, 2023
@lowqualityfacts just say the word "bank", 'cause that is the joke.
No?
Ok, I got nuthin'. 😏
Show threadBlueShiftNZApr 21, 2023
@lowqualityfacts
What's the difference between a banker and a pigeon?
The pigeon can still make a deposit on an Audi.