Ken WhiteMy wife signed us up for a couples/marriage course at church that meets Wednesday nights for a month but my D&D group is going to meet in person rather than Zoom this Wednesday so my question is can I duck out of the marriage seminar an hour or so early to go play D&D or is that going to be a thing
Does it change your answer that she bugged me to join the group to be more social
Ben@Popehat and nope, same answer. ;)
Don 
@Popehat I’d say in person DnD is very social 😂😂
Rowyn@Popehat this does further weight "staying married" in importance
Brandon@Popehat she scheduled a social group with a time that conflicts with your other social group to get you to be more social?
✡️ MG ✡️ #VoteBlue@Brandon @Popehat Many people (especially extroverts) don't consider a D&D group that is ordinarily online to be a "social" activity. Plus, it's possible that her intent is for HER to have more social opportunities but she isn't comfortable going alone. I'd feel that way if I had any interest in being social, LOL!
@Brandon @Popehat As for what Popehat should do - it rather depends on whether he (you) agreed to do this course with Mrs. Popehat or she just scheduled it. If the former, then it's probably going to be a "thing". If the latter, then, depending on when Popehat knew about the change in D&D venue, it might be OK.
Dan@Popehat totally duck out early (or duck it altogether)
@Popehat disclaimer: pretty sure my general disdain for church is mutual
Adam Gurri@Popehat If so it's probably safe to ask her, right?
(The people saying you've got to roll for the answer are correct)
El Fotografo@Popehat believe the Judge is already decided the outcome of this and Mastodon polls will not help you.
Nicholas Weaver@Popehat Which group, the church group or the raid?
DanFell@Popehat roll a dc18 wisdom check. On a successful roll listen to your wife. On a failure ask her what she thinks you should do.
Brian Haas@Popehat D&D night *is* social!
Matt Quirion@Popehat honestly can't imagine being so social that you'd want to do a 2nd social thing after the first social thing without a nap in between.
adrift@Popehat bugged you to join the church group or bugged you to join the D&D group?
GeekDad Ken@Popehat why not offer to start a D&D campaign for the church group?
JJ Celery@Popehat I said I wasn't available for meetings this Monday because I had to attend "an event".
The event is watching Superb Owl on telly with my husband.
Be as forthcoming as necessary and no more: you have an event to attend which you can't reschedule and you're very sorry.
(but do tell your wife, she'll want an out someday too)
@Popehat I'd even venture that getting out of a marriage course as a team is in itself a marriage course.
She may feel differently, but I've been told I have "issues with authority" 😉
Jim Lipsey@Popehat “The internet says what I’m doing is okay” is always a great tack in these conversations.
KilleansRow 🇺🇲 🇺🇦🍀
Anathema Device@Popehat Yes, it does. "Dear, I'm following your suggestion and meeting in person is much better for my social skills, so I'll see you at the marriage course next week."
Um, isn't a little late in your marriage to be doing a course on doing it right? :)
Djromero
Jeff Craig@Popehat Sounds to me like you had a pre-existing commitment on Wednesday nights that conflicts with this seminar, and your wife should be understanding of that.
Knepherbird@Popehat Clearly the answer is to merge the D&D campaign and the church marriage course.
Matt@Popehat but you’re plenty social
Clem KaddidleHopper@Popehat I think you may be flirting with death.
mrzaius🚸@Popehat How was she supposed to measure your success at being "more social" without bugging you?
Leave your cellphone at church, replace your clothes at Target. You'll have to leave 45 minutes sooner for OPSEC reasons, both to shake the bugs and to deal with getting lost without your phone.
Sifu Tweety Fish, cDc@Popehat seems clear you'll have to roll for it
Somename@sifutweety @Popehat Chivalry suggests that Ken ask his wife to roll a twenty side dice. But is he obliged to tell her its meaning?
Barak Ollama, Esq.
Mike J👹🐀 🤘🏻@sifutweety @Popehat To Hit Marriage Class Zero.
Tony Forbes@Popehat you better roll for initiative
MattCaff@Popehat haha, if you have to ask…
David Hull 胡大衛
ArkanWolfshade@Popehat of D&D was an existing commitment on Weds it should win
Rob Shearer@Popehat that’s going to be a roll for charisma.
With disadvantage.
Chris@Popehat IMO you can duck out of the whole marriage for the evening if you’ve got live d&d.
Joe E.@Popehat good luck 🤞!
@Popehat only if your wife is also in the D&D group and wants to play
@rowyn she played (with this same DM, who is a friend and whose name you would recognize) and played Chaotic Neutral frighteningly well but ultimately wasn’t into it.
@Popehat relatable tbh
in all seriousness, I'm pretty sure you're just gonna consult with your wife on D&D vs marriage course priorities and hash it out with her, since that is the clearly reasonable thing to do (and there's not a right answer from available context as to which one should be the priority).
OverclockedApe
Rhett Derrick
Half Cocked Law@Popehat Roll for initiative.
Shawn Zipay@Popehat Here's what you do. It's simple.
Duck out early.
If your wife doesn't understand, then it's clear she learned nothing from the course and it was a waste of time. 😎 Easy
Robert McNees@Popehat [rolls save vs marital obligation]
ESG
Michael Sipior@Popehat I feel like mixing these two events might be the best way forward. Find a gem worth at least 2000gp, and take your marriage to the next level.
chandler@Popehat it'll definitely give you something to discuss in the couples course.
Matt Griffin@Popehat roll CHA
@Popehat only if you don't clear it with her first.
ScooterSounds like a good opportunity to consider how the Golden Rule might apply...
Katrags@Popehat
She knew where she stood when she married a D&D player.
She knew where she stood when she married a D&D player.
Olav@Popehat
"I'd love to come but I have to seduce a demon tonight, so I might be late".
It *might* work, albeit in a less than optimal way
Noah Cook@Popehat Hear me out on this: have you considered doing a couples course of D&D? I feel like this might be more efficient and effective...
MFennVT has moved@Popehat Why aren't both things virtual? You could do both that way. (And stay safe for a bonus)
Peat Bog
LAUREN@Popehat
good luck...the feedback on this will be waiting for you down the road.
good luck...the feedback on this will be waiting for you down the road.