Twitter Death Cult
lol at elon and the right wing grift circus in the span of one day mass hallucinating an issue where private accounts boost exposure, and all of them performatively going private for a few hours, insisting it helped, but then going public again because ???
morgelon’s disease
Twitter Blue people still don't have most of the promised features they're paying monthly for yet but instead how about an entirely new feature, out of the blue, that nobody cares about!
I mean co-tweets were absolutely pointless and dumb but this might be dumber. I wonder if this is going to be on top of the suggested 4000 character thing or if this is what the character thing has become. But lol at anyone going to twitter to read essays
To EVERY employee? Jesus Christ, man.
Just imagine Musk staying up to 3 AM reading a one page book report by some random admin assistant in the Twitter Facilities Management Division
There are like 25 twitter files about how Russian troll bots weren't a real thing but also we have to limit API usage because "opinion manipulators" aka libruls...
And just lmao that they announced this change to come in a week with no details and if someone, like a business, wanted to make any sort of planning, the only idea of the pricing they would deal with is from Elon responding to some random tweet.
"Musk, Ben Shapiro... and uh.... I forgot the third one. Oops."
https://www.thedailybeast.com/eliza-bleus-own-friends-arent-buying-her-trafficking-story
reminder that in 2018 musk was having a big public meltdown and decided that anything "nano" was bullshit nonsense and tried attacking a cancer researcher working on nanoparticle treatments who happened to criticize him
https://www.livescience.com/62669-musk-nano-nanotechnology-real.html
Lmao I wonder what the 3 remaining advertisers think about their advert spend being shared with literal nazis because it's in a highly engaged tweet about pro nazi hate speech
Extremely excited for tweetfarming to become a thing, this sort of activity has never caused the death of a platform before!
He literally got owned by a cat lmao.
Love to make huge financial decisions for my company with "I guess..." policies
Give me 12k a year or you can't tweet to Catturd2 and a bunch of nazis
Twitter Considers Charging Brands $1000 Per Month to Stay Verified
Twitter is likely to charge brands $1000 a month to keep their gold verification badge, plus $50 a month for each affiliated account, according to internal messages viewed by The Information. The pricing structure, which according to the messages is being finalized and could still change, would add another chapter to the Twitter Blue saga, which alienated advertisers after the initial
actually, come to think of it, i have a lot of respect for the jurors
they looked at the case that took weeks to present, the stakes, the plaintiffs, and the amount of work they were being asked to do to hand a bunch of rich investors even more money, and they said "fuck it, let's go bowling"
it's a civil case, it's not about justice, and spending your weekend arguing over how much money to take from a billionaire to hand to millionaires isn't really redistribution
Of course people want Musk to eat at least some amount of shit, so it's disappointing when he repeatedly manages to not deal with any repercussions from any of the idiotic scam-and-scam-adjacent services and promises he's come up with, regardless of how transparent they otherwise seem.
It's the primal need for something, anything to matter to this clown as an actual consequence, instead of what seems to keep happening
It's great that nothing he does works, and his veneer of sci-fi nerd messiah is flaking apart so obviously, and all this, but when things go so far as being taken to court for finance manipulation reasons and then they find that he's not trying to defraud or manipulate but is actually just an utter moron, that feels like we missed out on what should have been an easy win.
We do live in a supremely stupid world so we shouldn't be that surprised.
movetodon got banned by twitter
losing my ass at the blackjack tables and sputteringly explaining to my MEAN spouse that if they'll just LISTEN, I'm actually trending to breakeven. I've got a system!
had to save twitter from bankruptcy (that I put it on the path to)
would not wish the pain of running multiple companies on anyone (no I will not step down and let anyone else run a single one of these companies)
Lol "Trending to breakeven" aka "even if i cherrypick a bunch of extremely favourable data points and ignore all surrounding data, the best picture I can fabricate is we'll stop losing money at some undefined point in the future, maybe"
Then again he probably didn't actually bother to do even that and is just lying so that he keeps his story straight to anyone still funneling money to him
"Elon, I showed my bad posts to everyone and barely anyone liked them!"
"For some unknown reason nobody likes any of the weird freaks I keep shoving into everyone's timeline!"
I do have to give elon credit, making the tweet view metrics public is starting to cause a lot of petty people who are addicted to validation either feeling bad about it or pointing fingers at elon because these numbers can't possibly be right everyone loves my posts
Everything he says he's done, he's done the opposite
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/06/technology/twitter-child-sex-abuse.html
All grifters, all liars, all the time
https://www.thedailybeast.com/eliza-bleus-own-friends-arent-buying-her-trafficking-story
People don't ask me "where moon" but then again I haven't promised anyone we're living on Mars in 10 years 10 years ago
also probably safe to assume that a doge name or avatar means that the person is one of elon's paid lackies
I really wanna know the turnaround time from Elon dictating the terms and the code being deployed.
Also isn't that really going to fuck over companies that offer user support via Twitter? Of course they'll soon offer an option to bypass those limits for $11 a day or something.
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/digital/twitter-limits-tweet-frequency-1235320995/
An example of how stupid this is. To DM Xfinity Support, you need to follow each other since so many accounts have closed DMs. But Xfinity Support can't follow any new accounts until they unfollow 133,000 accounts. So they won't be able to interact with customers.
https://twitter.com/xfinitysupport
lol
guys the superbowl is this week. nobody is going home.
or perhaps people will be going home... they just won't be coming back
JUST ANOTHER DAY Vivian Ann Romero, Ernesto J Bautista & Rodney Alejandro
she's so fuckin dumb she doesn't know they're also pretty goddamn happy that dude bought them out for 44 billion
https://www.thedailybeast.com/republicans-bow-down-to-twitter-chief-at-hearing-god-bless-elon-musk
he vastly, vastly overestimates the amount of blood he can squeeze from the stone that is twitter and he'll end up killing it trying to get the last drop, like lmao why the HELL would you fuck with the ability to SOCIALIZE on a SOCIAL NETWORK, then have the audacity to charge for it???
they're gonna do all this bullshit tweaking and pissing off everyone by limiting follows or whatever then check the balance sheet at the end of the month and see only 0.01% of users forked over cash
I imagine he is getting blocked by a lot of people right now, driving down even accidental engagement.
https://www.platformer.news/p/elon-musk-fires-a-top-twitter-engineer
This is a combination of sad and hilarious, because:
1) Those estimates are annualized figures based on the advertisers Twitter had at the beginning of the year and tons of major ad supporters bailed on Twitter in the first few months. So, even that figure of $19 million is likely way lower.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/02/09/twitter-ads-revenue-suspended-account/
"Just yesterday, Twitter experienced a mass outage...
Apparently, an employee unintentionally deleted data for the “internal service that sets rate limits for using Twitter,” the outlet wrote. The team of people that used to manage the rate limit service haven’t been employed at Twitter since November.
“As the adage goes, ‘you ship your org chart,’” one current employee told Platformer. “It’s chaos here right now, so we’re shipping chaos.”"
https://gizmodo.com/elon-musk-twitter-engineers-shadowban-engagement-1850096392
it usually doesn’t not go well when a female assault victim changes their story. juries get very skeptical, and a lot of assholes become extremely hostile against the victim.
perhaps she should have taken advice from a victim’s advocate before deciding to do this, or just watched an episode of law & order: svu
if she was sane she'd have enough of a Simp Surplus to get people to defend her music video days.
She made the mistake of CANCELING right wingers, by reporting them on YouTube for posting the video. They got banned or suspended or something which made them lose their shit and that's when things started crashing down on her.
elon musk has figured out the one weird trick for not having to pay the employees you fired: make them sign arbitration agreements, then don't select arbitrators or pay the arbitration firms
"the company is refusing to pay its share of filing fees to the arbitration company... in cases where the arbitration agreement does not specify a particular arbitration firm, Twitter will not agree on selecting an arbitrator, simply ignoring her emails to Twitter’s own lawyers."
Ex-Employees Suing Twitter Say It's Not Cooperating On Arbitration, Asks To Keep Case In Court
An attorney who says she represents approximately one-third of all Twitter employees that were fired since Elon Musk bought the company late last year, told a federal court in a new filing that the company is not serious in its attempts to resolve worker disputes through private arbitration and i...
bah! who needs ads when that sweet sweet $8/mo subscription revenue is flowing in?
https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/10/tech/twitter-top-advertiser-decline
lmao, "we found out your epic posts were overloading the mainframe sir"
Some engineer did a fantastic job of saving probably their entire team's jobs by pulling that whopper of a lie out of their ass
lmao he probably thinks ddos is when normal people aren't being force-fed catturd2 posts
Good to know me #BlockTheBlue'ing is killing Musk's site
Dr. Guillermo Power 
Half Cocked Law@cspam people don't want to see you or your friends?
That has to stop. It messes up the presumption that everyone wants to see my posts.
xian
Murphysical@cspam how does a group of accounts blocking other accounts have anything to do with DDoS?
It's some 30 Rock show with Alec Baldwin screaming synergistic word salads at Tina Fey.
stux⚡️
what a joke
Richard
Kevin Teljeur ❄️
Matthew Bloch
Martha HowellYou're so awesome, Sir, your awesomeness broke the boundaries of space and time!
Tengrain
Darwin Woodka
demofox
clango
Essjay 🏳️🌈 
Hmm, the pervasive stench of quick and dirty bullshit.
akendo@cspam I wonder if they're going to update the data in the DB with a trigger for Musk now.
Just to be sure he's happy.
Nick 'The Viking'
GuacamOlé 🥑
Jeff
kira :3
bushwald
Doug Baker - Elbows Up! 🇨🇦
@infosec_jcp 🐈🃏 done differently🥵👨🚒👩🚒🔥🥵👨🚒👩🚒🔥🚒🧨🔥📛🧯
TheJen
KatLS
Statmonkey 🙊
SedunkerLOL "You're just too damned awesome for twitter, sir"
BlackDutchSnark
CimerydHe's going to pull a Myspace Tom, isn't he? Everyone will autofollow Elon to boost his viewcount, so his ego can be stroked.
/C\a/r\l/o\s/
Anne
Thomas
Richard Knott@cspam the engineer in question has made themselves known:
https://twitter.com/jdan/status/1623818128005160962?s=61&t=6ow30_UIUQWYVWEzICebdQ
AGTMADCAT 🇬🇧🇺🇸🇺🇦🇹🇼🇵🇸
Em McDonald 🏳️⚧️
Jeff Fecke
Andyn305so happy I no longer Care about that place to Honestly any group/person/entity depending on that platform should really ask themselves why?