It's great that nothing he does works, and his veneer of sci-fi nerd messiah is flaking apart so obviously, and all this, but when things go so far as being taken to court for finance manipulation reasons and then they find that he's not trying to defraud or manipulate but is actually just an utter moron, that feels like we missed out on what should have been an easy win.

We do live in a supremely stupid world so we shouldn't be that surprised.

They recalled the ~woke DA~ that they blamed for all the crime and crime went up lol
Elon Musk Is Running Scared From Mastodon; Cuts Off The Best Tool For Finding Your Twitter Followers There

People keep claiming that Mastodon isn’t scaring Elon Musk, but it’s pretty clear that he’s worried about the exodus of people from Twitter. With his bizarrely short-sighted decis…

Techdirt

losing my ass at the blackjack tables and sputteringly explaining to my MEAN spouse that if they'll just LISTEN, I'm actually trending to breakeven. I've got a system!

had to save twitter from bankruptcy (that I put it on the path to)

would not wish the pain of running multiple companies on anyone (no I will not step down and let anyone else run a single one of these companies)

Lol "Trending to breakeven" aka "even if i cherrypick a bunch of extremely favourable data points and ignore all surrounding data, the best picture I can fabricate is we'll stop losing money at some undefined point in the future, maybe"

Then again he probably didn't actually bother to do even that and is just lying so that he keeps his story straight to anyone still funneling money to him

Matt Walsh's filthy pedo face popping up in my feed like the hobo from Mulholland Drive

"Elon, I showed my bad posts to everyone and barely anyone liked them!"

"For some unknown reason nobody likes any of the weird freaks I keep shoving into everyone's timeline!"

I do have to give elon credit, making the tweet view metrics public is starting to cause a lot of petty people who are addicted to validation either feeling bad about it or pointing fingers at elon because these numbers can't possibly be right everyone loves my posts

Absolutely unstoppable juggernaut of humor and plagiarism, this Musk fellow
Musk's a bought and paid for disinfo agent. A fucking traitor.

Everything he says he's done, he's done the opposite

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/06/technology/twitter-child-sex-abuse.html

Musk Pledged to Cleanse Twitter of Child Abuse Content. Is It Working?

Child sexual abuse imagery spreads on Twitter even after the company is notified: One video drew 120,000 views. “Sewer rats,” as one regulator described bad actors, remain.

Eliza Bleu’s Own Friends Aren’t Buying Her Trafficking Story

Elon Musk’s favorite anti-trafficking advocate has set off a war in right-wing circles after Twitter banned some of her critics—and her own friends are poking holes in her story.

The Daily Beast

People don't ask me "where moon" but then again I haven't promised anyone we're living on Mars in 10 years 10 years ago

also probably safe to assume that a doge name or avatar means that the person is one of elon's paid lackies

Trump has probably a dozen excuses like Musk just being a loser or Musk not fully committed to proving the 2020 election was fake so he is just going to stay on Truth
I'm on Team Ian Miles Cheong
Elon gonna enforce this broad acceptance by banning anyone who is mean to his nazi buddies or grifter pals like Eliza
thank you dril
Is Musk actually doing this because he started ripping out servers and is trying to get people to stop tweeting as much by limiting overall numbers? What a genius!!

I really wanna know the turnaround time from Elon dictating the terms and the code being deployed.

Also isn't that really going to fuck over companies that offer user support via Twitter? Of course they'll soon offer an option to bypass those limits for $11 a day or something.
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/digital/twitter-limits-tweet-frequency-1235320995/

Twitter Limits Tweet Frequency, Impacting Business and User Accounts

The company said it will now limit users to a maximum of 2,400 tweets a day, but users reported being prevented from tweeting far below that limit.

The Hollywood Reporter

An example of how stupid this is. To DM Xfinity Support, you need to follow each other since so many accounts have closed DMs. But Xfinity Support can't follow any new accounts until they unfollow 133,000 accounts. So they won't be able to interact with customers.

https://twitter.com/xfinitysupport

lol

Xfinity Support (@XfinitySupport) / Twitter

Hi! 👋 Welcome to your official support team @Xfinity. Need to connect? Our experts are here for you live 24/7/365.

Twitter

guys the superbowl is this week. nobody is going home.

or perhaps people will be going home... they just won't be coming back

JUST ANOTHER DAY Vivian Ann Romero, Ernesto J Bautista & Rodney Alejandro

YouTube

she's so fuckin dumb she doesn't know they're also pretty goddamn happy that dude bought them out for 44 billion

https://www.thedailybeast.com/republicans-bow-down-to-twitter-chief-at-hearing-god-bless-elon-musk

Republicans Bow Down to Twitter Chief at Hearing: ‘God Bless Elon Musk’

“I’m so glad you've lost your jobs,” MTG told several former Twitter officials on Wednesday. “Thank God Elon Musk bought Twitter.”

The Daily Beast
Since he overpaid so much he needs to pay off the loans he took out for his purchase but twitter is not profitable as a company so the only thing he knows to do is to monetize every possible aspect. The result is that the platform is a goner and it is going to ruin a lot of people's livelihoods

he vastly, vastly overestimates the amount of blood he can squeeze from the stone that is twitter and he'll end up killing it trying to get the last drop, like lmao why the HELL would you fuck with the ability to SOCIALIZE on a SOCIAL NETWORK, then have the audacity to charge for it???

they're gonna do all this bullshit tweaking and pissing off everyone by limiting follows or whatever then check the balance sheet at the end of the month and see only 0.01% of users forked over cash

I imagine he is getting blocked by a lot of people right now, driving down even accidental engagement.

https://www.platformer.news/p/elon-musk-fires-a-top-twitter-engineer

Elon Musk fires a top Twitter engineer over his declining view count

Inside Twitter 2.0, turmoil leaves employees stretched to the max

Platformer

This is a combination of sad and hilarious, because:

1) Those estimates are annualized figures based on the advertisers Twitter had at the beginning of the year and tons of major ad supporters bailed on Twitter in the first few months. So, even that figure of $19 million is likely way lower.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/02/09/twitter-ads-revenue-suspended-account/

Extremist influencers are generating millions for Twitter, report says

The report attempted to estimate the dollar-value to Twitter of Musk's restoration of formerly suspended accounts.

The Washington Post
2) That the Twitter algorithm really did massively push anti-vax and nazi accounts that made them the most profitable accounts for Musk on Twitter and he likely unbanned them right away in a desperate move to max out potential revenue.
My dopamine factory has everyone hooked! Surely nobody will run to another dopamine factory if I start charging
I'm gonna guess that the view counter is broken in that it counts of a bunch of backend processes that are scanning content for various reasons as "views"

"Just yesterday, Twitter experienced a mass outage...

Apparently, an employee unintentionally deleted data for the “internal service that sets rate limits for using Twitter,” the outlet wrote. The team of people that used to manage the rate limit service haven’t been employed at Twitter since November.

“As the adage goes, ‘you ship your org chart,’” one current employee told Platformer. “It’s chaos here right now, so we’re shipping chaos.”"

https://gizmodo.com/elon-musk-twitter-engineers-shadowban-engagement-1850096392

Elon Musk Seems to Think His Own Employees Are Shadowbanning Him

Musk reportedly sacked one of Twitter's engineers after they suggested his lower-than-normal engagement might be because people aren't interested in him.

Gizmodo

it usually doesn’t not go well when a female assault victim changes their story. juries get very skeptical, and a lot of assholes become extremely hostile against the victim.

perhaps she should have taken advice from a victim’s advocate before deciding to do this, or just watched an episode of law & order: svu

if she was sane she'd have enough of a Simp Surplus to get people to defend her music video days.

She made the mistake of CANCELING right wingers, by reporting them on YouTube for posting the video. They got banned or suspended or something which made them lose their shit and that's when things started crashing down on her.

and the grift comes tumbling down
Holy shit he's pathetic

elon musk has figured out the one weird trick for not having to pay the employees you fired: make them sign arbitration agreements, then don't select arbitrators or pay the arbitration firms

"the company is refusing to pay its share of filing fees to the arbitration company... in cases where the arbitration agreement does not specify a particular arbitration firm, Twitter will not agree on selecting an arbitrator, simply ignoring her emails to Twitter’s own lawyers."

https://www.forbes.com/sites/cyrusfarivar/2023/02/10/ex-employees-suing-twitter-say-its-not-cooperating-on-arbitration-asks-to-keep-case-in-court/

Ex-Employees Suing Twitter Say It's Not Cooperating On Arbitration, Asks To Keep Case In Court

An attorney who says she represents approximately one-third of all Twitter employees that were fired since Elon Musk bought the company late last year, told a federal court in a new filing that the company is not serious in its attempts to resolve worker disputes through private arbitration and i...

Forbes

bah! who needs ads when that sweet sweet $8/mo subscription revenue is flowing in?

https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/10/tech/twitter-top-advertiser-decline

They didn't
Watching them try to launch all these new idiotic features completely live and untested and then rapidly change their mind is a bit like watching a Tesla try to repeatedly try and fail to auto-park. And noticing that it really, really wants to put itself across a nearby set of train tracks...
and another thing: im not a paid bootlicker. please dont put in the newspaper that i am a paid bootlicker

lmao, "we found out your epic posts were overloading the mainframe sir"

Some engineer did a fantastic job of saving probably their entire team's jobs by pulling that whopper of a lie out of their ass

@cspam I wonder if they're going to update the data in the DB with a trigger for Musk now.

Just to be sure he's happy.