@scalzi

nuance:    

@scalzi I'm sure it's more common for you than for those of us who aren't in the public eye, but that's my policy too. I don't bother trying to figure out if they're really assholes. I don't engage. I just insta-block.

And it's done wonders for my mental health. Online assholes used to bother me a little bit. My insta-block policy has realigned my perception such that THEY SIMPLY DON'T MATTER. I didn't know they existed 30 seconds ago, and I can pretend they don't exist for the rest of my life.

@scalzi Back on Twitter when you’d say something like this, or post a screenshot of some oaf being a jerk I would often go search for the original to chortle (in my head only) at them and then (probably) preemptively block them (in the all-too-common case where their timeline otherwise indicated that blocking was the right course).

Perhaps good for my mental health/happier wasting of time that I can’t really do that on Mastodon.

@scalzi

I'll have to remember this, it's often my default for in person communication where it works far better 🙂

@scalzi So true, it's just frustrating and uncomfortable when total strangers you never interacted with approach you with overfamiliarity and/or playful passive-aggressiveness expecting you to decipher their tone as if you've been buddies for years. Sorry you had to deal with that.

Also thank you for the phrase "the failure mode of 'clever' is 'asshole.' "

@scalzi

Remember: The failure mode of 'clever' is 'asshole.'

Love this statement, going to add it to my email sig now...

@scalzi

I first heard this quote, "The failure mode of 'clever' is 'asshole," in one of Wil Wheaton's books. He credited you.

I've now used it as well and think about it a lot. It's a good mantra for the internet and life.

@scalzi A while back, on Twitter, I spent more than a year* wondering if you had muted me due to a misconstrueable comment I’d made to you. I was inordinately relieved when you quote-tweeted me later in an unrelated discussion.

*Not non-stop. I also did other things during that year.

@scalzi I get exactly what you are saying. I think everyone has delt with the same issue. People don't understand that the person reading a comment can't hear the tone in the authors head.

BTW, I am an asshole. Though I try not to be one online.

@scalzi Very true. It's a good policy not to tease anyone till you're SURE you're actually friends.

I don't remember everyone I've chatted with on social media. I could easily end up blocking someone for a jerkish "first contact," when we've spoken a few times and their name hasn't stuck.

I'd say teasing becomes appropriate when you've been chatting a while, and are actively seeking out each other's posts. Not after a casual chat or two, and not by way of hello.

@scalzi Perhaps there should be a more comprehensive set of warnings given during an extended onboarding process.

A lot of people are only used to conversing with a fairly narrow group of people from the same narrow location. They have never met people who are experts in any field, they have no experience of critical thinking.

And that is how we get a person who works as a Walmart greeter telling someone who worked in the MIT AI lab what they wrote about ChatGPT is stupid.

On sarcasm, I find a lot of people make a sarcastic post and then berate other people for being so stupid to believe anyone could believe what the Republican candidate for Arizona Governor (for instance) said to an adoring crowd of 5,000 to rapturous applause.

I have not flipped the bird yet, I am still on Twitter to see what I can learn from the stress testing. But it is getting mighty difficult to use with my feed being full of people who first respond to one of my posts saying I am obviously stupid and unqualified and then when I respond pointing out I have a degree from the nuclear physics department, Oxford, they start attacking me for waving my credentials around after they just demanded them.

[*] The degree isn't in nuclear physics but actually rather more relevant to discussing the feasibility of new nuclear designs.

@scalzi Coming from an Italian family where the default of "I love you" is a not always gentle ribbing, and having a less than NT understanding of the universe, it took a long time to really grasp that last part and integrate it.

"Why do people hate me when I'm just telling them I like them?" Because it sounds like you're being a jerk. It can feel insincere to just be cordial and professional with people, but it's always a good starting point.