Mr. Funk E. Dude 🤡Jan 8, 2023

Let’s create a series of conspiracies that lead to progressive actions, but for totally made up reasons.

“Switch to solar? Of course! Don’t you know that the government is trying to control our minds through the powerlines? If all of the homes have solar, they can’t get to us.“

Show threadMr. Funk E. Dude 🤡
“Of course I believe in aliens! They are the ones that have been putting fossil fuels into the ground so that we’ll use it to terraform our atmosphere into their alien planet! That’s why we got to stop using them!“
Jan 8, 2023 at 2:41amTusker
Show threadMr. Funk E. Dude 🤡Jan 8, 2023
“Do you know why you want to start your own garden? Because the Hollywood elite want to keep selling their magazines to you at the grocery store to promote themselves. If you start growing your own food, then the grocery stores go out of business, and they’ll no longer have a place to sell their magazines!“
Show threadMr. Funk E. Dude 🤡Jan 8, 2023

"Want to know the REAL reason your city doesn't have a better public transit or rail system?

COMMUNISTS!

It's because they don't want us to have better things then they do.

They know that if you didn't have to drive to work or the store, that you would be able to buy an even BETTER car then the one you have now, AND you'd have less wear and tear on it!

Fucking commies! "

Show threadIan Alexander MartinJan 8, 2023
@Mrfunkedude Most of these conspiracy theories you’re coming up with — this one especially — have better logic than the ‘real’ conspiracy theories do.
Show threadMr. Funk E. Dude 🤡Jan 8, 2023
@IanAMartin 🤣
Show threadIan Alexander MartinJan 8, 2023
@Mrfunkedude Often, conspiracy theories are fun to explore because they’re so delightfully Byzantine in their logic, but I recall a ‘documentary’ I saw which was trying to convince viewers that there was an ancient alien base of operations on our moon. They had all kinds of photos and drawings which they claimed proved conclusively that there was a cannon, or a ship, or a bridge spanning a chasm up there. I was successful in knocking down their logic by merely thinking ‘or that’s a rock.’
Show threadLeftwardswingJan 8, 2023
@IanAMartin @Mrfunkedude lol the things people believe, I tell ya....
Show threadIan Alexander MartinJan 8, 2023
@Mrfunkedude @Leftwardswing THIS ROCK PROVES CONCLUSIVELY THAT COLUMBUS OHIO IS THE EXACT BALANCE POINT FOR THE FLAT DISC THAT IS THE WORLD!
Show threadLeftwardswingJan 10, 2023
@IanAMartin @Mrfunkedude 🤣🤣🤣
Show threadAquiel ‘Aqi’ DracoJan 8, 2023
@IanAMartin @Mrfunkedude but wait, there’s a documentary out about that hidden moon basis https://youtu.be/Py_IndUbcxc
Iron Sky Official Theatrical Trailer [HD]

YouTube
Show threadIan Alexander MartinJan 8, 2023
@Mrfunkedude @AqiDraco HAH! Alas, they never once mentioned NAZI aliens.
Show threadAquiel ‘Aqi’ DracoJan 8, 2023
@IanAMartin @Mrfunkedude just realized there’s even a follow up documentary that may or may not feature a uhm for real T-Rex. You did know that there are dinosaurs on the Moon! I certainly must watch that ASAP. https://youtu.be/URTPgGEhmNM
Iron Sky: The Coming Race | Official Trailer (HD) | Vertical Entertainment

YouTube
Show threadIan Alexander MartinJan 8, 2023
@AqiDraco @Mrfunkedude So… NAZI alien dinosaurs…? I would like to live in this world of which they speak. Not forever, obviously, just for an hour or two. Then I would get out as fast as my Delorean could take me.
Show threadZeborahJan 8, 2023

@Mrfunkedude My made up conspiracy-theory-for-good is that antivax conspiracies were started by Big Pharma. Because if you eradicate a disease you can't sell vaccines for it anymore - but if a small percentage of the population refuse to get vaxxed, the disease will hang around forever, and so will your profits.

Same with anti-mask. If you wear a mask you don't get colds and they lose all the profit from selling you decongestant pills and cough syrups.

FOLLOW THE MONEY!

Show threadMatthew 🌒Jan 9, 2023
@zeborah @Mrfunkedude they learned their lesson from smallpox. Wiped out the whole thing and now they can't sell any more smallpox vaccines! They'll never make that mistake again
Show threadWendy LadyJan 8, 2023
@Mrfunkedude you're actually getting a little too real now.
Show threadJames 🦉 #FBPE Jan 8, 2023

@Mrfunkedude 🤣 Love it!

"THEY want you on social media to enslave your mind. The internet IS the Matrix. Take the red pill."

Show threadpocket full of hawthornes 💦Jan 8, 2023
@Mrfunkedude ooh, i love that theory...
Show threadTane Piper ⁂Jan 8, 2023

@Mrfunkedude literally the plot to this wonderful little sci-fi short "Rakka" from Neill Blomkamp

https://youtu.be/VjQ2t_yNHQs

Oats Studios - Volume 1 - Rakka

YouTube