PwnallthethingsJan 3, 2023

So this is interesting. Remember the couple of cases of people shooting at four electrical substations near Tacoma in Washington State, seemingly without obvious reasons on Christmas?

Well, two people just got arrested for it. And it's an interesting story.

https://www.justice.gov/usao-wdwa/press-release/file/1560621/download

Show threadPwnallthethingsJan 3, 2023
First, they got caught because they brought their phones. The phones gave the Feds their subscriber accounts, which also matched a vehicle registered to one of them that was visible from a distance on a CCTV.
Show threadPwnallthethingsJan 3, 2023
But the big question was always *why*? Was this some form of domestic terrorism? Some coordinated activity? What on Earth could it be?
Show threadPwnallthethingsJan 3, 2023
Turns out (at least this time) it's simple burglary. They cut the power by attacking the substations, and then went to a local business, drilled out a lock, and stole from a cash register.
Show threadPwnallthethings
Curious how many dollars they got from that cash register for the low-low price of doing $3m worth of damage that put power out in 14,000 homes on Christmas day
Jan 3, 2023 at 10:28pmWeb
Show threadPwnallthethingsJan 3, 2023
(my bet is a few hundred, and much less than $1000)
Show threadPwnallthethingsJan 3, 2023
The indictment doesn't say, but from Pierce Country records, this most closely matches the likely burglary itself. Not an exact match to the confession, but closest to right time and place.
Show threadTom von AltenJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings Stealing lottery tickets, that's really the cherry on top.
Show threadAndrew BuckoJan 3, 2023
@fortboise @Pwnallthethings obviously this is going to vary from store to store but the place I worked at kept pretty close tabs on the lottery ticket serial numbers. Shortly after finding out they were what was stolen, they were probably marked as such and made worthless.
Show threadCat WestJan 3, 2023
@trekologer @fortboise @Pwnallthethings Most people don’t realize that. Where I worked, a guy jumped the counter and scooped up the tickets (I was not there). He got caught 2 hrs later cashing in a $25 “winner” because the numbers were recorded.
Show threadAndrew BuckoJan 4, 2023
@Catawu @fortboise @Pwnallthethings he won more than $25
Show threadTom von AltenJan 4, 2023

@trekologer @Pwnallthethings I was thinking probably.

It's quite the sad commentary about greed and ignorance.

Show threadSereneJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings OMG if they did this to steal a bunch of lottery tickets I'm going into comedy
Show threadlizzardJan 3, 2023
@mythserene @Pwnallthethings better yet go into consultancy for dumb petty criminals
Show threadheffaJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings it feels like they toggled between far-right psyops videos, Pink Panther and Bugs Bunny cartoons and this is the result
.
.
.
Or it’s a cover-up idk 🤷
Show threadmask-wearing, socially distant entityJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings For some reason, stealing lotto tix makes more sense to me than hoping for cash in the till. I mean, the whole thing is absurd, but if you think you may win a million dollars… maybe you’re that dumb?
Show threadDavidJan 3, 2023
@geekgrrl @Pwnallthethings And also imagining you'd be able to claim the prize without anybody checking to see if the ticket was actually *sold*
Show threadsilverhorsemanJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings
All the better criminals are committing fraud these days.
Burglary and robbery are reserved for dumbest of the dumb.
Show threadMaura HubbellJan 3, 2023
@silverhorseman @Pwnallthethings Yup. White collar crime has been where it’s at for decades if not centuries.
Show threadMartha HowellJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings So, they stole tickets that were traceable, could likely be deactivated once reported stolen, and have a dubious chance at *any* payout?
Show threadWndlBJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings For which there would be an inventory, and inventory numbers, no? These are like the Darwin Awards of criming
Show threadMichael SlatteryJan 3, 2023
@wndlb @Pwnallthethings They're not smart
Show threadWndlBJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings @Gargron can something like @threadreaderapp work on #mastodon? Because this one NEEDS it
Show threadlagayaJan 5, 2023
@wndlb If you click the time in the top right corner, Mastodon will line up the thread in order for you.
Show threadSex Crazed SaltShaker of DeathJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings They stole the lottery tickets for last-minute xmas gifts...
Show threadavgeorgeavJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings so.. what made you look deeper into this story ?
Show threadFilmWonkJan 3, 2023

@Pwnallthethings

This is so very stupid, thanks for digging this up.

Show threadRobert SzaszJan 4, 2023

@Pwnallthethings what chucklefucks.

Like every ticket isn't tracked

Show threadSeanJan 4, 2023
@Pwnallthethings they are really phoning it in with these Ocean's 11 sequels
Show threadJack MottJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnEMkqteC6w
Die Hard (1988) - give me the code

YouTube
Show threadbillheywoodJan 3, 2023

@Pwnallthethings
Madness

And who keeps money in the till?

Show threadCat WestJan 3, 2023
@billheywood @Pwnallthethings The money in the till (The “float” most likely) was probably less than $220 in currency & coin. And yes, if they had a safe, it should’ve been in there unless the person who opens up in the morning is not the one that has the combination to open that safe. Unfortunately, many of the quick stores only have floor safes which employees can’t open, ever. Owners too cheap to install 2ndry safe.
Show threadThomas H Jones IIJan 3, 2023

@billheywood @Pwnallthethings

In rural areas? A nontrivial percentage of (especially independent/mom&pop) businesses do.

Show threadbillheywoodJan 4, 2023

@ferricoxide @Pwnallthethings
I believe it

I just don't think it is sensible for any business. Sadly rural crime is a thing

Show threadThomas H Jones IIJan 4, 2023

@billheywood @Pwnallthethings

A lot of people love the idea of living "someplace we don't have to lock our doors". Coming from such an area, there were (and even still are) plenty of people that lived their lives that way. Leaving money in the till was part of that mind-set. That said, most don't leave more than an amount necessary to make the first-of-the-day's sales change (which is to say, definitely not worth elaborate breakin plans, let alone wiping out the local grid).

Show threadbillheywoodJan 4, 2023

@ferricoxide @Pwnallthethings
If that's all they were after, then why not just force the door and crowbar open the till?

Perhaps they'd watched Die Hard and thought they were breaking in to the vault at Nakatomi Tower 😂

Show threadThomas H Jones IIJan 4, 2023

@billheywood @Pwnallthethings

The "can't believe the stupidity" part of me says "they think they'll avoid a terrorism charge by claiming it was just a misguided robbery scheme".

The less optimistic part of me thinks "they might just be THAT stupid that they thought they needed to go that complicated a route".

Show threadVoight KampffJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings Ah yes, quite the brain trust with those dudes, lol!
Show threadcremevax👩🏻‍💻🏳️‍🌈​🇨🇦🇺🇦Jan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings Seattle times story has more: https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/law-justice/two-charged-in-pierce-county-christmas-day-substation-attacks/
Two charged in Pierce County Christmas Day substation attacks

Prosecutors say the men attacked two Tacoma Power and two Puget Sound Energy substations, causing $3 million in damage on Christmas Day.

The Seattle Times
Show threadSFJeniferJan 3, 2023
@cremevax @Pwnallthethings If the ST story has the details correct, they were merely damned lucky to not electrocute themselves.
Show threadpiofthingsJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings smells of a cover up #TinFoilHatOn!!!
Show threadFalcon DarkstarJan 4, 2023
@Pwnallthethings whatever it was, I bet armed robbery would get them less prison time and restitution.
Show threadDouglas PhillipsJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings certainly not enough to justify the federal charges coming their way ...
Show threadSereneJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings And attracted not just the FBI but the high priority attention of — basically — the US federal government. Instead of the local boys in blue. 👮🏻‍♂️💀
Show threadSFJeniferJan 3, 2023
@mythserene @Pwnallthethings exactly! Just chop down the nearby power poles like they do in the CA Central Valley.
Show threadAndyJan 3, 2023

@Pwnallthethings

Greenwood: hey! you wanna do a heist? on christmas?
Crahan: OMG of course, christmas heist
G: ok, you get to be the getaway driver
C: so cool!
G: while I attack the substations
C: you can use my bolt cutters!
G: and then while the power is out you drill out the lock and i'll steal the stuff!
C: OMG what are we stealing?
G: money!
C: woo hoo!
G: ... from a cash register ... at a local business
C: ...
G: ...
C: ........ yeah ok

Show threadDoctor MemoryJan 3, 2023
@Pwnallthethings the fact that one of them instantly confessed to having a massive methamphetamine problem really puts a bow on it. It's the ultimate meth-head plan: a perfect combination of unnecessarily complicated, completely insane, depressingly penny-ante and deeply, deeply stupid
Show threadCoastalCoastingJan 4, 2023
@Pwnallthethings It is possible they are using the robbery aspect as a ruse in case they get caught, so the charges will be way, way less?
Show threadCardboard RobotJan 4, 2023
@CoastalCoasting @Pwnallthethings Possible, but myself I’d go for “shooting at birds and hit the power plant” first.
Show threadPhoenix Blue (they/them)Jan 4, 2023
@Pwnallthethings The fact that these smooth-brained cretins could do that much damage to the power grid really gives me concern for the security of our national electricity supply.