Idealistic Pragmatist 
Last week I attended a Zoom hangout for a science podcast I support financially. The host is a regular journalist and the two reporters are science journalists, both with strong backgrounds in biology and health sciences. I don’t want to evoke the wrath of whomever, so I won’t tag them or identify them more than that (other than to say that the podcast is not in English, and the team that makes it are in a country where #masks were once mandated but no longer are). /1
Anyway, as the group got to chatting, one of the questions from the supporters was about how the team is personally handling the fact that the world has moved on from #masking. And ALL THREE members of this smart, exceedingly science-knowledgable team said that they themselves were mostly not wearing #masks anymore. They even discussed at length the psychological disconnect between KNOWING that it works and yet seeing the world around them stop masking. But they themselves STILL stopped. /2
I was so upset I almost left immediately (and almost discontinued my financial support too). In the end I did neither, but I was really pretty shaken by it. Still am, to be honest. /3
As I’ve said before, I can say VEHEMENTLY that I've NEVER experienced whatever feeling gets people to stop #masking whenever people around them aren't masked. Quite the opposite, in fact. But what I DO experience is a kind of heavy exhaustion that comes from being exposed to all the constant pretending the pandemic is over. So hearing these sciencey people who I admire, who clearly KNOW better, casually talking about joining in with the pretence…well, it was hard for me to take. /4
One of them even told a story about having been on a train that crossed over from their country into another country without a mask mandate, and there having been an announcement that people could now take their masks off. And the person SAID it was silly to then be breathing in whatever viruses all the people in the train car around them were now spewing into the air. But they STILL removed their mask…because the people around them had. /5
I’ve certainly witnessed this behaviour in the world enough times, so the behaviour in and of itself doesn’t shock me. But the fact that all three of them were talking about the psychological disconnect between knowing that masking would help the world’s current predicament and no longer masking as if it were just normal and the way things have to be? And without saying: “You know, this is dumb, I’m going to start wearing mine again!” Well, that DID shock me. A lot. /6
And they’ve all had COVID at least once by now—I mean, of course they have. But it’s not even that, because lots of #StillMasking people have had it too. But to KNOW the science behind why you should be masking, and to intellectually recognize that not doing so is nonsensical, and to have actually HAD the experience of not masking impacting YOU PERSONALLY adversely...and yet STILL take that mask off? How the hell does that even HAPPEN? /7
Anyway, I guess what I’m looking for here is comments from anybody who feels similarly. Because it’s starting to feel a little lonely over here on this island that still feels incredulous about and horrified by all the pretending.
Thanks for reading/listening. /8fin
deakat@IPEdmonton I am absolutely right with you in being horrified that people who know and understand the science can behave like that. I did go out once (a few months ago) without my mask, but haven't since. There was only one person in the two locations I visited that day who was wearing a mask, and I felt like I had let her (and myself) down by not wearing mine.
@Ideakat It's so amazing to hear someone say that they tried not masking but changed their mind because it felt wrong. Thank you so much!
@IPEdmonton If you use Discord, are you aware of the Covid Precaution Community server? If you're interested, I can send you an invitation.
@Ideakat Thank you! I'm on it, actually. I should hang out there, but I haven't managed to incorporate Discord into my regular social media diet. I'll check it out during the break, though, and thanks for the reminder.
@IPEdmonton I spend some time in there on days when I start to question my reality; it helps.
@Ideakat I bet! I don't actually ever have the experience of questioning reality (though I have read enough smart people saying that they sometimes do), myself, for me it's more a case of feeling like I'm living in Zombie World, and some of the people around me don't know they're zombies while some do but are okay with it.
Kelly's Shenanigans 🇨🇦@IPEdmonton people who were wearing masks in the afternoon performance at the Christmas concert yesterday weren't wearing masks in the evening. Like they are in the same room, with even more people, but because it wasn't school hours they stopped? I find it very confusing. And masks were already in the minority in the afternoon, so it's not like these people aren't regularly bucking peer pressure.
@Kellyshenanigans ARRRRRGH HOW? And WHY???
@IPEdmonton I don't know. I'm confused. But I'm often confused by other people, I strongly suspect I'm autistic (but have been unable to find someone to do adult diagnosis). You are not alone in being frustrated and confused.
La'an 
@Kellyshenanigans ask your family doctor for a referral to the adult autism clinic at the Glenrose. If you pass the pre screening, it's a multi year wait for the assessment, but it's an option!
@leeannepedersen my family doctor moved to BC
@Kellyshenanigans Oh no, sorry to hear that. 😓 $##$_@$## UCP....
Ysabet@IPEdmonton It's all so bizarre and confusing. :( I'm very much with you.
Elana@IPEdmonton half formed thought:
I see it as a similar relation as white supremacy etc., in that it is a fear of being different, or othered—which is only possible for individuals with the option to conform. Anyone who internalized that conformity was never an option for them (an easier lesson in some circumstances), is cognitively freed to make rational choices even if they are unpopular. Otherwise, that fear rules them in ways they can’t even look at.
@elana Interesting. It feels like you might be on to something (other than the fact that I'm fine with being a non-conformist but have still clearly internalized plenty of white supremacy).
@IPEdmonton everyone has internalized white supremacy at least a little bit 😅 it’s just how much we’re willing to confront that fact, right?
@IPEdmonton I've never been more grateful that I didn't comprehend the whole peer pressure thing growing up. I haven't stopped masking, haven't had COVID that I know of, and have no plans to stop masking because I don't give a damn what other people think about me masking. It's horrifying that people who know better just give up so easily and accept it.
@leeannepedersen This is really at the crux of it, isn't it? I've never really fit in much of anywhere, so looking a little different from the people around me isn't hard for me at all.
All the pretending HAS been really psychologically hard for me, though, to the point where much of the time I avoid being around people despite feeling like my precautions are good enough that I could do so without getting COVID myself. So my isolation isn't about fear, it's about exhaustion.
@leeannepedersen It's one of the reasons why the masked-audiences performances at our local theatre (in my pinned toot if you're curious) have been such a lifesaver. Every single person there masks because they WANT to, because they know it's the right thing to do. COVID-knowledgeable people, getting together to do something fun, all in masks and nearly all respirators. It feels amazing. I can't wait until the next one.
@IPEdmonton I'm not sure that it's pretending, versus being oblivious. I'm in a constant state of rage at the abject failure of all levels of government and the media at poor crisis communications. I seek out information, but I don't think the average person does. They just go along with whatever the majority does because they don't know better.
@leeannepedersen The way I look at it: if you‘re aware of the science of the current pandemic situation but don’t let that affect your behaviour, you’re pretending individually, and if you’re not aware of the science and aren’t doing anything different from what you did in 2019, you’re participating in collective, societal pretending. But either way it’s pretending. 🤷♀️
Accretor@leeannepedersen Great points, Lyanna.
We're living in a post-truth reality where nearly everyone selects from a pool of contradictory "alternative facts". Most people are too busy working their two minimum-wage part-time jobs to be able to sink a few hours a week into trying to untangle it all.
Real democracy requires citizens be willing and able to actively participate in governance, but we've created an economy where the majority lack the "free" time needed to actually do any of it.
@IPEdmonton Yeah, right, it would take so much more than forgoing a mask for me to fit in. I'd have to change my entire attitude, most of my political beliefs, my values, etc. I don't even aspire to it in a meaningful way.
Yes, I want acceptance and love, but I know I could never do enough to significantly increase either through conformity. I have to find the people who will appreciate things that I already am. One of those things is being evidence-driven and respecting the scientific method.
Nicole ParsonsThe anti-vaxxer and anti-masker groups have morphed from a funded malign influence campaign into a stochastic social bullying campaign.
A mask is to prevent disease and isn't meant as a silent condemnation of Republicans anti-social political views.
It's agonizing watching red state voters self-harm and kill themselves by the inch like Diamond & Silk have, but there seems little alternative but to model appropriate covid mitigation strategy. Wear masks!
@Npars01 I’m not in the US, so I’m missing a bunch of the context here, I think. Diamond and Silk?
Diamond & Silk are funded right wing disinformation influencers favored by Trump.
Diamond passed away from covid, aged 51.
https://apnews.com/article/diamond-and-silk-dead-lynette-hardaway-7ba302111687a71e7686dad3b0f57a43
'Diamond,' of pro-Trump duo Diamond and Silk, dies at 51
Lynette “Diamond” Hardaway of the conservative political commentary duo “Diamond and Silk” has died, according to former President Donald Trump and the pair’s official Twitter account. She was 51. Hardaway’s cause of death hasn't been released. Trump called her death “totally unexpected” and “really bad news for Republicans” in a post Monday night on his Truth Social platform. Hardaway and her sister, Rochelle “Silk” Richardson, rose to prominence during the 2016 presidential campaign cycle when they stumped for Trump, calling themselves his “most outspoken and loyal supporters." They later went on to become prominent television personalities on Fox News before landing at Newsmax.
NerdShinobi@Npars01 @IPEdmonton they were so disgusting. I'll still stop short of cheering a death, but I can say it's no surprise. Deliberately catching a serious CUMULATIVE disease over and over while thinking it's "just a cold" is chasing death.
The willingness to court death in service of a fraud is the very definition of a cult.
I sympathize with the circumstances that create such weak-minded amoral greed but deplore the loss of life they caused.
@Npars01 @IPEdmonton well expressed!
Dominique Julia
Thomas@leeannepedersen @IPEdmonton
I still mask all the time for myself and for my loved ones, it amazes me how many people just stopped and think the problem is over and no need to mask anymore.
I still mask all the time for myself and for my loved ones, it amazes me how many people just stopped and think the problem is over and no need to mask anymore.
Francis 🏴☠️ Gulotta@IPEdmonton @beadsland I’ve been living with high-risk individuals the entire pandemic, and if I hadn’t, I’d still be masking, and I am still masking!
@reconbot @beadsland Neither I nor my partner is what has come to be known as "high risk" (which actually just means "high risk of hospitalization or death in the acute phase of COVID"). But we're both "high risk" for LongCovid (because we're human beings and everyone is). And completely apart from my own risk, our SOCIETY is "high risk" for spreading COVID to lots of people who will be harmed by that. These are the things that keep me masking (and I'll be doing so until the conditions change).
@IPEdmonton @beadsland while there are immunocompromise people in my life, they were also the very young, the very old, the pregnant, and so on. I actually have no qualms masking in public. It’s the small gatherings that I have trouble handling.
viq@IPEdmonton
I have #diabetes thanks to #flu. I pay quite a bit out of pocket (and have for years now) for #CGM sensors to increase my chances of still having functional eyes, kidneys, legs.
Catching #COVID very well may affect my ability to pay for them.
Unless someone is going to pay for some years of sensors up front, I'm not interested in their opinion about #masks.
I have #diabetes thanks to #flu. I pay quite a bit out of pocket (and have for years now) for #CGM sensors to increase my chances of still having functional eyes, kidneys, legs.
Catching #COVID very well may affect my ability to pay for them.
Unless someone is going to pay for some years of sensors up front, I'm not interested in their opinion about #masks.
@IPEdmonton
Couple days ago was my first time spending some time with friends in a pub/restaurant. And I told them upfront, for me indoors==mask on, no exceptions. There were some questions, but they accepted. I half jokingly told about me trying to figure out how to go to a pool while keeping mask on most of the time.
Society doesn't care much about disabled people, so I don't care what society thinks about me defending myself from becoming disabled.
Couple days ago was my first time spending some time with friends in a pub/restaurant. And I told them upfront, for me indoors==mask on, no exceptions. There were some questions, but they accepted. I half jokingly told about me trying to figure out how to go to a pool while keeping mask on most of the time.
Society doesn't care much about disabled people, so I don't care what society thinks about me defending myself from becoming disabled.
@viq This is my partner's take too. She goes out with friends, them all unmasked, her with an elastomeric respirator firmly in place for the whole time. I can't do it, though. The pretending upsets me too much. I mean, I've made exceptions (like for travelling to see my elderly parents and doing fun things with them), but there are always emotional consequences after so I mostly just stay home. (I hate it.)
@IPEdmonton
My partner hates my elastomeric mask 🤣 I mostly alternate between that and Aura. But, mask stays on anywhere other people breathe.
I've not gone to work events, because part of the point is the free food which mask negates, partly because I'm not that social, partly because it would involve travel, and I don't know what the sleeping situation there look like - I don't quite trust ventilation in hotels.
My partner hates my elastomeric mask 🤣 I mostly alternate between that and Aura. But, mask stays on anywhere other people breathe.
I've not gone to work events, because part of the point is the free food which mask negates, partly because I'm not that social, partly because it would involve travel, and I don't know what the sleeping situation there look like - I don't quite trust ventilation in hotels.
@IPEdmonton
Myself, the main thing I'm missing is swimming pool 😂 My partner misses cafes and cinema.
I guess cinema might be doable in a good mask 🤔
But i have no consideration for other people's opinion on this. My partner is worried I might get bullied for the elastomeric mask, but they're the only one to have done so so far 🤣
Myself, the main thing I'm missing is swimming pool 😂 My partner misses cafes and cinema.
I guess cinema might be doable in a good mask 🤔
But i have no consideration for other people's opinion on this. My partner is worried I might get bullied for the elastomeric mask, but they're the only one to have done so so far 🤣
@viq Cinema would definitely be doable in a good elastomeric or even an excellent disposable N95/FFP2 (we have done it but again I'm limited by my reaction to being around all the unmasked people, so we haven't done it since the mandates were lifted)!
Swimming pool...yeah, that's not really in the cards right now. Maybe in an uncrowded place that's outdoors, or indoors with excellent ventilation?
@IPEdmonton
There have been studies that e.g. with swimming teams during pandemic, when infections in the team or coaches occurred, vast majority happened outside of the pool area, e.g. on a bus to a competition or other trip. So the water area itself sounds relatively safe, but i don't know how far that extends, so figuring out how to wear a mask even under shower 😂
There have been studies that e.g. with swimming teams during pandemic, when infections in the team or coaches occurred, vast majority happened outside of the pool area, e.g. on a bus to a competition or other trip. So the water area itself sounds relatively safe, but i don't know how far that extends, so figuring out how to wear a mask even under shower 😂
@viq Or just get dressed after and shower at home? In a place where you've been with a CO2 monitor to the pool area with a full house so you know it's probably safe as long as you socially distance? Just spitballing here. (Back in the days of universal masking, I was actually really geeky about figuring out how to make various activities actually COVID-safe, and benefitted a lot from the results of that.)
@IPEdmonton
I need to finally get me one of those CO2 monitors 😅
Oh, interesting, anything you'd like to share?
I need to finally get me one of those CO2 monitors 😅
Oh, interesting, anything you'd like to share?
@viq Nothing general, but my partner and I (she an immunologist and me a geek who's read alllll the things about which tools make things actually COVID-safe) have served as sort of a consulting team for people who have presented us with various situations of: "here's the thing I want to do: is there a way of making it COVID-safe, and if so, how?" Haven't done it in a while (thanks to my exhaustion around the non-reality people), but if you want to tell us the specs we can try for you!
@IPEdmonton
Oh, interesting, and good to know! Nothing comes to mind right now beyond the above ;) But I'll keep you in mind, thank you :)
Oh, interesting, and good to know! Nothing comes to mind right now beyond the above ;) But I'll keep you in mind, thank you :)
@viq but yeah, you’ll want a CO2 monitor. I don’t know what country you live in, so maybe google around a bit, but the two that have been tested by the experts and proven excellent are the Aranet4 and the Vitalight. Either would be a good tool to help you do fun things while not getting COVID.
@IPEdmonton
Poland. Thanks, I'll look for those :)
Thinking maybe one day also getting around to building air quality monitoring at home, and add CO2 to the mix. Currently I only have the sensors on air purifiers.
Poland. Thanks, I'll look for those :)
Thinking maybe one day also getting around to building air quality monitoring at home, and add CO2 to the mix. Currently I only have the sensors on air purifiers.
@IPEdmonton
I guess a quick rinse is an option as well 🤔
I guess a quick rinse is an option as well 🤔
@viq We both wear various elastomerics and are both quite happy with them. My partner exercises in a Flo Mask in a gym every morning where everyone around her is unmasked. Me, I just can't. It would make me hate working out because I would be seething at everyone around me.
@IPEdmonton
I guess I'm more asocial and just DGAF about others opinions and what they choose to do to themselves 😂
I guess I'm more asocial and just DGAF about others opinions and what they choose to do to themselves 😂
@viq I was thinking about your partner’s reaction to your elastomeric and wondering whether you’re aware that there are elastomerics that look different from disposable respirators but not so dystopian? Two examples you may or may not have heard of: the #FloMask (which has two filter types, one N95-equivalent and one better), and the new [breathe 2] by Prescientx, which is better than N95-equivalent. Just a thought for how to make her more okay with you wearing an elastomeric!
@IPEdmonton
Thank you!
I'll show them and see the reaction. Though at the very least FloMask does not ship to Europe. The other one might, will need to take a closer look.
Thank you!
I'll show them and see the reaction. Though at the very least FloMask does not ship to Europe. The other one might, will need to take a closer look.
@viq sorry for misgendering your partner!
The breathe 2 does ship to Europe. But if it’s a Flo Mask you want (I personally think it’s the only elastomeric that’s actually CUTE, and there are even decals you can buy to make it pretty), I could send you one.
@viq Decals! https://masksquad.bigcartel.com/
@IPEdmonton
"Them" the masks 😂 No worries, I'm being vague, preferring to not divulge information ;)
I might be able to get stuff from US, but thank you for the offer :) At least in the product photos for [breathe] there's apparently people having inserted images onto the filter, so that might work too.
@viq okay, we’ll, let me know! I’m fine with sending you stuff from here if it comes to that (I’m in Canada but can get either mask without international shipping).
@IPEdmonton
Ha, and just had a conversation with family about Christmas dinner.
Oh, so you will come after all?
As i said, i can come for a while, but the mask stays on.
Really? What's the point of that?
Well... I might consider taking mask off if everyone will have tested themselves...
Bah! No, won't be making everyone test!
Well then, in that case mask certainly stays on.
Ha, and just had a conversation with family about Christmas dinner.
Oh, so you will come after all?
As i said, i can come for a while, but the mask stays on.
Really? What's the point of that?
Well... I might consider taking mask off if everyone will have tested themselves...
Bah! No, won't be making everyone test!
Well then, in that case mask certainly stays on.
@viq Love this! I hope you get to go.
@IPEdmonton
I'll go for a bit, but planning to leave after maybe an hour. I'm not too big on social gatherings.
I'll go for a bit, but planning to leave after maybe an hour. I'm not too big on social gatherings.
@IPEdmonton Haha, the same person that reacted with "won't make everyone test" just called me and suggested taking my supply of tests and politely asking the host whether the people would test "because it would be nice if I could stay longer and fully participate" 😂