@Popehat
CHOOSE YOUR CLIENT
@surcomplicated I choose death
@Popehat @surcomplicated how many of those have tried to pick a fight with you on ye olde bird site? At least two, right?
@Popehat You die, the devil appears before you, and laughs!
"CHOOSE YOUR CLIENT. In addition, you will be representing Rudy Giuliani in what I *think* is an unrelated case."
@Popehat
Given the challenges many have with suicidal ideation, that's not as funny as it could be... But I understand the spirit of the answer.
I think "I'll become a full-time podcast host answering RICO questions" might also have worked 🤣
@surcomplicated
@Popehat @surcomplicated
*Eddie Izzard voice*
"Well we're out of death!"
@Popehat @surcomplicated that's what I was going to say.
@surcomplicated
Avenatti
You could talk about that Pepsi jet guy
@Popehat

@surcomplicated @Popehat AFAIK, none of them pay their bills and are more likely to grift you.

Who will pay 100% in advance is the correct answer.

@surcomplicated @Popehat SBF, hes a POS scammer, but hes at least capable of polite conversation
@Khloe_the_Red @Popehat I'd actually pick Avenatti. Probably marginally easier to handle client control with him than the others.
@surcomplicated @Popehat They all pretended to support Democratic ideals at one time. The worst kind of phonies.

@surcomplicated @Popehat
They all steal from customers/clients.

Avenatti is IN jail
SBF will be in jail
Trump and Musk are awful human beings and stiff vendors as a tactic

SBF is the guy. Deeper pockets, more to lose (parents) and doesn't stiff vendors.

@surcomplicated @Popehat
You should at least warn us when you post pictures of these a$$hats.

Maude, where'd you put my eye bleach?

@surcomplicated @Popehat the only winning move is not to play. (unless winning is defined by billable hours, in which case I have no idea)
@surcomplicated @Popehat Only Elon has both the ability to pay and no history of stiffing lawyers. That’s our choice.
@Women4Popehat @Popehat Client control will cost you quite a bit at the cardiologist, though.
@surcomplicated @Popehat thought about that, but it worse when they’re talking themselves into a cell rather than an adverse civil result. Plus there is the greater ability to withdraw.

@Berg @Popehat She seems considerably less hassle than the others, which is why I didn't include her.

Yeah, she's a possibly psychopathic con artist, but her antics are child's play compared to [gestures broadly].

@surcomplicated @Popehat assuming you have to be paid up front in American currency, that really narrows things down... to zero?
@surcomplicated @Popehat Avenatti. He had the smallest reach and was just a run of the mill scammer.
@surcomplicated @Popehat Definitely the effective altruism guy.
@surcomplicated @Popehat Damn, the lawyer is the least evil, Bwa-ha-ha-ha
Apparently I live under a rock,,, Who's the fluffy haired guy w the crazy grin and dead eyes..
@surcomplicated @Popehat
@Akauwela @Popehat Oh, he's not real he's actually an AI-generated abomination I cooked up to raise Ken's blood pressure.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Bankman-Fried
Sam Bankman-Fried - Wikipedia

@surcomplicated @Popehat SBF’s broke, Trump never pays, Avenatti is definitely the kind of lawyer who’s a terrible client, so Musk? I assume his check won’t bounce.
@matthewmuses @Popehat Musk and Avenatti are def the least bad options here--Trump and SBF are absolutely top tier at not only driving lawyers up the wall but driving everyone around them insane.
@matthewmuses @surcomplicated @Popehat He's currently not paying rent, software license fees, or travel expenses, so, I wouldn't be too sure of that. (Not to mention severances owed to thousands of workers)
@surcomplicated @Popehat
I would rather lick the pavement.
Twice.
@surcomplicated @Popehat is "dying slowly in a dark quiet place" an option here, or does it _have to be_ one of these four trainwrecks?
@klausfiend @Popehat Dying is not an option. If you die, you reappear in Hell, but end up *also* having to represent Rudy G, whoever else you pick.
@surcomplicated @Popehat oh god, it's Kobayashi-Maru, but with more paperwork
@surcomplicated @Popehat client number 3 looks like Aussie Opposition Leader Peter "Mr Potato head" Dutton
@surcomplicated @Popehat easy: Avenattis. He always fires his lawyers an represents himself.

@surcomplicated @Popehat

Ken: I would pick the Court Officer in the bottom left pic.

@surcomplicated @Popehat how can you leave out Alex Jones?
@surcomplicated @Popehat Elon at least pays his legal bills, right?
@surcomplicated @Popehat Alex Jones is unhappy about being left out.
@surcomplicated @Popehat top left and bottom right have enough money to pay their bills
@surcomplicated @Popehat Elon is a low empathy ā€œecosystemsā€ thinker, SBF is a ā€œResultsā€ thinker with ZERO empathy (like Dahmer level), Avanatti is an Opportunistic Expert with some empathy which puts him somewhere between dictator and asshole, Trump isn’t the brightest bulb - he just uses empathy combined with opportunism to manipulate.
They all suck but the only one with a shot of being a better person is (ironically) likely to be the lawyer.
@surcomplicated @Popehat
Is there one in this group more likely to actually pay than the others?