I backed the Flipper Zero on Kickstarter and got mine some months ago.

Now, initially, I did some pretty basic things with it - loaded all my remotes into it, tinkered with NFC, opened a Tesla's charge door. You know, the usual. I've even gotten pretty good at Snake on it, because I can.

Then I started seeing TikTok videos and reading the comments on them, and man, this thing is wild. They told me about all the cool shit it can do, so naturally I started experimenting!

To date, I've:

- Overridden drone controls and organized a dozen stolen drones into a bomber wing to harass local wildlife.

- Taken over a Tesla entirely. I didn't keep it. Just drove it around the parking lot like a really expensive remote control car. Then I changed the horn to the theme song from the old Flipper TV show, for science.

- Discovered the human 'off switch.' I didn't realize such a thing existed until I saw a TikTok video that pointed out the app on GitHub. Download it and put it on the Flipper. Run it, point the IR window at the person in question and click! Human off. There is the very minor detail that this is generally referred to as, in TikTok parlance, unaliving them. Don't recommend doing this to people regularly.

- Found the AI function, but then shit got weird. It stole my car. I don't mean I stole a car with it, I mean *it* stole *my* car. I drive stick. How the fuck does something without arms, let alone hands, drive stick? How does it even see!?

- After I got it back, I figured out the right frequency to tap into those mind control chips they put in the COVID vaccine. Problem is the Flipper AI realized what I was doing, and I don't think I'm the one forming the mind controlled army anymore. Send help, before it's too late. I don't think the tinfoil is working anymore...

10/10. Would back again.

#satire #FlipperZero #IReadTheComments