benteh#dealingWithStrangers lesson 1:
If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “did you bring the money?”
#dealingWithStrangers lesson 2
Receiving a call from an unknown number, answer whispering “it’s done. But there’s blood everywhere…”
#dealingWithStrangers lesson 3:
If someone knocks on your door, knock back from the inside.
They’ll go away.
Trust me on this.
#dealingWithStrangers lesson 4:
If you want to make a car dealer uncomfortable just say “tell me if you can hear this”. Then crawl into the trunk and start screaming.
#dealingWithStrangers lesson 5:
Next time a stranger talks to you, look startled, and say “you can SEE me?!”
#dealingWithStrangers lesson 6:
Telling someone to “have a nice day” sounds friendly.
Telling someone to “enjoy your next 24 hours” – not so much.
#dealingWithStrangers lesson 7:
I send flowers “from Steve” to my neighbours’ wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn
#dealingWithStrangers lesson 8:
If you answer your phone with “aaaaaand you’re ON THE AIR!” Most marketeers will hang up
#dealingWithStrangers lesson 9:
Every once in a while, go outside and run the vacuum cleaner over the driveway. Just to ensure the neighbours will never talk to you.
#dealingWithStrangers lesson 10:
I have always wanted to walk up to a stranger, hand him a briefcase and whisper “you know what to do”, and walk away
#dealingWithStrangers lesson 11:
When I’m bored late at night, I text random numbers saying “you should really clean under your bed, it’s filthy down here. P.S. I love you”
Tim J
Shine F.
Zach Perlman@benteh Similarly, I enjoy sending vague letters of conscience to politicians and department heads. The note says, "When the time comes, I'm counting on you to do the right thing."
Brian Hawthorne@zachperlman @benteh Sign it: “In Solidarity, M.”
@bhawthorne Love it!
llewelly@benteh I've tried telling my neighbors this is genuinely the best solution for driveway leaves, but they won't listen.
Marc@benteh I had a neighbour who did this. I swear!. He was very serious about his driveway.
Jaap Wieringa ✅@benteh or let them think they called a murder seen and are talking to the lead investigator, like Tom Babe did
https://youtu.be/cIVfrBFc5og
Cracks me up every time.
https://youtu.be/cIVfrBFc5og
Cracks me up every time.
Bogdan