Mastodawn

Ron Gilbert (GrumpyGamer)Nov 23, 2022

Pro-tip: If you're a boss or manager, don't send email, Slacks, etc, outside of business hours. You might not intend them to be responded to until start of work, but it send a subtile message of "I'm working at 11pm or on the weekend, why aren't you?"

@grumpygamer 👏👏👏

The power dynamic is at play in an interaction like this that is hidden to the person holding the power.

I'd add - don't send your employees messages like "got a second to talk?" that don't also provide context! Anyone that's been in a toxic work environment likely has PTSD from such messages 😂

someguyjg Nov 23, 2022

@saga @grumpygamer I got laid off after getting one of those messages and was totally blindsided. I strolled into the office thinking it was just an actual "got a sec"

saga Nov 23, 2022

@someguyjg @grumpygamer yep this is the thing I'm immediately afraid of ANY time I get a nondescript message like this.

Berzerkraccoon Nov 23, 2022

@saga @grumpygamer I had to unlearn my defensive reactions when my new lead used this to show me cool stuff only, while my previous lead was toxic and whatever followed those lines was always negative.

saga Nov 23, 2022

@Berzerkraccoon @grumpygamer yeah absolutely. It's probably my politics but I find myself hypervigilant of labor power dynamics - the context and trust between the people engaged in an interaction like this plays a huge part in the level of anxiety that something like this triggers which is why I prefer to avoid it altogether.

"Got a sec to chat about something cool?" Is the same level of effort but in the context of a power dynamic has less of a chilling effect!

Berzerkraccoon Nov 23, 2022

@saga @grumpygamer Due to previous very negative experiences, I do care about those dynamics a lot, and I love to see your posts on this subject, and also, what you do to avoid those dynamics and effects.

Just like your example, I’ve tried to be more explicit about the “why” - “Do you have a minute to talk about [x]?”. And sometimes, be even more explicit about “Nothing to worry about, I just need your input on this.”

saga Nov 23, 2022

@Berzerkraccoon @grumpygamer ♥️ little things like this compounded over time/across studios and the games industry will become so much more humane!

Berzerkraccoon Nov 23, 2022

@saga @grumpygamer Well said! I love seeing this shift, and learning from everyone who is actively supporting this shift. We can make great games without being toxic.

Mark Verrey Nov 23, 2022

@saga @grumpygamer goddamn, I just got a cold sweat

ACG Nov 23, 2022

@saga @grumpygamer

I send everyone this as soon as they start with the "hi" or "got a moment" bullshit:
https://therealadam.com/2021/11/01/dont-be-spooky/

Don’t be spooky

Adam Keys is typing

Ron Gilbert (GrumpyGamer)Nov 23, 2022

@alexcg @saga I guess the trick is if you want to see them because you're going to fire them. There is a lot of HR and security stuff that has to happen and I'm not sure I'd want them to find out that way and not from me. It's tricky.

@alexcg That second point is so important too. I had a previous boss that would either call me when I was off or wait until he was about to leave on Friday to tell me he was upset about something one of my employees did weeks ago and never mentioned until now.

So now not only is it harder for me to address the issue with my employee because it was something that happened weeks ago but I get to spend my entire weekend or day off worrying about it.

ACG Nov 23, 2022

@liamsora my ex-manager considered our relationship so matey that it would come across as nbd. The general environment made me a bit paranoid I think

@alexcg Yeah I think my manager probably thought the same thing. It wasn't until shortly before he left and I mentioned that I didn't think I was good at managing that he suddenly realized the only feedback he had ever given me about my management was when he was complaining about my employees.

From his perspective he was thinking "You're so good, I hardly ever have to even say anything." But what I got was "The only things he ever says are negative so he must think I'm terrible at this."

ACG Nov 23, 2022

@liamsora pretty tired now, so can't give a decent response. But nice to meet someone in a similar situation.

Well, "nice" I guess. I wish nobody ever had to go through this bullshit. But misery breeds something or other

(Damn, work events take a toll)

wfleming Nov 23, 2022

@saga @grumpygamer maybe I should feel bad about it, but I’m not going to lie, I’ve worked in toxic work environments in the past and sent the “do you have a minute to talk” slack messages to my manager to start the giving 2 weeks notice process, and taken great pleasure in it

@saga @grumpygamer ALL my firings started like that.